The nostalgia about growing older, translated…
That day, she’d watched “Before Sunrise” again, Jesse and Celine met on the train, then, sparks flew, they’d connected, not long thereafter, the train arrived to Vienna, Jesse was about to transfer on a plane toward the U.S., and, Celine is onboard toward Paris, the two tried to avoid the fact that they’re about to part ways and never meet up again, and said goodbye, then, Jesse had a change of thought, asked Celine if she was willing to follow him off the trains, Celine was hesitant, he’d said, “Imagine, that twenty years from now, you’re married, then, slowly, gotten tired of being married. You are reminded, of all the men you’d missed, and started wondering, if you’d chosen one of them, how different your life would be.”
And, that man you’re about to miss out on. She and Celine were both stunned. Like with a ticket to the terminal station, but on the way, passing through an enchanted little town, nobody can guarantee what is there after you get off, and, if you don’t get off, you’re destined to live in regrets. You’d bought the ticket, someone will be there, waiting at you, at the terminal station, but that colorful small town is so similar to what you’d dreamed about at night. The closest moment to seeing your dreams come true, and the decision is to happen, in a split second, the train is about to move on, the single second became an eternity, get off, or stay on.
Celine got off.
She saw how she got off, and, tears filled up her eyes.
Two months after her twenty-fifth, she’d realized, that she was, twenty-five. Twenty-five, that, is a quarter of a century, the wonderful time of the twenties, the uncomfortable post-puberty years. The adjectives of naïve, wondering, became degraded by the days, the years all of a sudden, started, to show up on her face now, even if she’d had that pair of jeans, and her backpack on, it still wouldn’t change the reality. That day, the elderly woman who’d sold the food at the entrance of the street started calling her Ms., instead of “Young Lady”, she’d walked on, for a short bit, then realized, that the elderly woman was hollering for her, then, for the very first time in her life, she felt old.
Of course, twenty-five is not really old, but, she’d lost her nostalgic feeling of her teenage years now. The popular music became cacophony to her ears, blasting from the shops on the streets, and, those young faces with the makeup on, on those concert posters became really strange; as she’d stayed up too late, she’d started to get that headache, before she made the exit of the all-you-can-eat hotpot place, she’d started feeling bloated; and could no longer tolerate the noises blasting inside the box of the karaoke, on New Year’s Eve, she’d just wanted to, get away from the crowd counting down, and head home to sleep. All of a sudden, she’d recalled how her biology teacher once told of how after age twenty-five, the human body starts to age, back then, everybody sitting in the seats can’t wait to grow up and graduate, back then, twenty-five seemed as far away as growing old and gray. S who was sitting next to her handed her a note, asking what she’s having for supper before they head off to cram school, like that, is the major issue of the days.
All of a sudden, her entire class are on the way, to aging fast.
How did we get here? She doesn’t really know. The loneliness of today had, masked over the loneliness of yesterday, someone jokingly asked, all of a sudden, the entire table fell silent, Eddie Vedder by the bar, still sang on, “I feel angry, but am simplistic, I am, alive……there’s a vanishing road beneath my feet”.
Getting off, or not, the movie always begins right after this decision. Mathew entered into Isabella and Rayo’s partying mansion, Laura started running fast, Neo jumped into the rabbit hole in the real world, the plot slowly unfolds, life became something else, after you’d made the choice of which way to turn, there’s no turning back.
She doesn’t know what’s waiting after the stop. The youth of age twenty-five, she felt hurried, that she needed to do something. The years passed by like the decades in your twenties, time can feel the sadness or the sorrows, every year, is remembered by someone’s songs. The second month after she’d turned twenty-five, T sent her a song by Kings of Convenience called 24~25, “Twenty-Four is Like a Field with Flowers Full Bloom/ the Desires of 25 Becomes a Ticket, a Way Out/ After the Dreams Burnt Out, there’s still a Gold Light, Remaining in the Residues”.
She thought, it’s okay, it’s okay, dreams are talked of with a flare at age twenty-five, she’d still have that impulse, to get off the trains, and has the courage, to deal with the consequences of not getting anything after she got off; thankfully, she can still feel moved by this sort of lyrics, and can still start to cry, at this same scene in the movie she’d seen a dozen times.
Celine got off the train, “What do we do after we get off?”
“I don’t know,” Jesse said. The train had left the station, then, their movie lasted, eighteen whole years afterwards.
So, this, is how someone gets nostalgic after seeing a movie, and, maybe, from before when you first saw the movie, you didn’t feel as much, but, as you’d aged, your life experiences became enriched, and so, this time after you saw the film, you’d gained a little something deeper.