Trapped in Love’s Cage…

Trapped in love’s cage, andyou were, my one, and ONLY companion, so yeah, I’d, attached!  Trapped in love’s cage, it shouldn’t have,happened like this, I was, NEVER the one, who was, willing, to give UP myfreedom, for something, something as, USELESS as L-O-V-E (and, you DO realize,how before you CAN afford love, you need to have your food, drink, and SHELTERneeds, fulfilled, right???)…

like this???  Photo from online…

Trapped in love’s cage, I wascaught, a long, long, long time ago by love, it’d, kept me well, sure, but,freedom called my name, every second of every day, and, I’d, longed, to breakfree!  Trapped in love’s cage, there’s,NO way out for me now, it got me, hooked on it, I’d, longed, for its undividedattention, every single minute of every single day…

what that’d, looked like, image found online…

Trapped, in love’s cage, I don’t want to be, NOT anymore, so, I’d, come up with this, escape plan, it’s, elaborate, and next to impossible, but I know, I can, somehow, break free!

So the day came, that love left me alone, in its cage, and, for some unknown reasons, it’d, left the keys, and so, I’d, grabbed them, and, unlocked the gates, and, escaped, and, I ran, fast as I could, to get away, from all of those bad memories of love’s, impositions on me.

But, even though, I’d, broken free, out of love’s cage, physically, I’m still, a prisoner, to its, devices, psychologically, because, I’d grown, psychologically, dependent, on love, and, there’s, just no way out of this, not for me!!!


The Time that Accumulated with the Waters Rising, a Poem

The philosophies of this life, translated…

Sometimes, Life, Just Has to, Hide

Behind the Trees and the Houses

In the time that Accumulated with the Waters Rising

Before Hope is, Given Out

Each of Rooms May Not Have the Potted Plants in it

But, with the Multitudes of Weathers

You’d Needed to, Adapt Yourselves to

Those Who are, Extremely Quiet

Making the Most Decisions

The Wind Started Blowing Today

Doesn’t Necessarily Mean that There Would be Sun ‘Morrow

Give Yourself, Cloudiness Every Single Day

Some of the Love May Have Been, Grayed

But, They Will, Turn White Again on the Day After Tomorrow

After the Rain Happens for Some

There May be, Rainbow

Sometimes, Life is

Walking, with a Pen in Your Hand

Recording Down Each and Every Instant of

Shadows, of Darkness, of the Sunnier Days

Along with, Your Own Reflections

And so, this still just showed, how we’re, all alone in the world, NO matter how many friends we may have, we’re still, the ONLY ones we have, of counting on, for every single moment of our lives.

Expressions of Love

The changes in your behaviors, in your ways of expressing the love, after your daughter was born, translated…

My daughter was the firstborn in three generations, and so, she’d, received ALL our love.  From when she started to understand things, we’d, not held back on the way we’d expressed our love for her, we’d often say to her, “You’re so wonderful, come to daddy for a hug!”  “You’re, so wonderful, come, grandma give you a hug!”  “Thank you cleaning up your room, mommy loves you, so very much!”

As she’d heard these expressions of love from us, she’d, slowly, started, learning to express the love too.  Sometimes, as she was, using video conference with her two aunts who live away, she’d said, “I love you so, aunt.”  Or, “aunt, when are you coming home?  I miss you so very much!”

查看來源圖片like this???  Photo from online

Actually, my family and I, weren’t that expressive about love at all, before my daughter was born, I’d, held a family meeting, and decided, to show my daughter my love bravely, that way, she’d known, how to, express her love to others, and how to get along well with others too.

Although it’d, felt, a bit, awkward from the start, but, after I gave it a few tries, it’d, become, easier.  And now, as I saw my wife doing the household chores, I’d shown her my gratitude too.  After I’d learned to express my love, naturally, I’d become, a gentleman, like how that night as I was, washing my daughter’s dirty shirt, at the age of a little over two, she’d told me, “Daddy works so hard, I love daddy so!”  Hearing her words so sweet, it’d felt, that no matter the hardships, it’s, all more than, worth it!

See how a young child can, change everything in your life, because this father wanted his young daughter to feel and know that he loves her, he’d started, learning to express his love to her, physically and verbally, which was what he was, never exposed to, and yet, after he’d started expressing his love verbally and physically to his young child, it all came, naturally, and became the only way he knows, of interacting with his loved ones.

The Shadows of Filial Piety

When the love of her/his father became, conditional, and this still isn’t, how love of a parent to her/his children should be!  Translated…

I’m grateful to my parents, for not allowing me to worry over things when I was growing up, and so, a lot of the things, I’d, followed their rules, and, if something happened back home, I’d always, run to them first, as my father would joke on how I’d not achieved, greatness, I’d, just, laughed it off, after all, every job I’d taken, my father would say that I’m earning too little money, and told me to quit, that he’ll, give me the wages instead; let alone on the issues of boyfriends, nobody can match up to my father’s standards.  And so, at the age of thirty-something, I’d lacked the working experiences, and I’m still, single to this day.

查看來源圖片like this???  Photo from online

Then, my father grew old.

I’d bid farewell to my thirties, and started a family of my own.  I’d thought that my father didn’t feel right, intruding in on my sister and her family, and he’d not wanted to get into fights with my mother that often, he could come to my place to spend some nights, and so, I’d found a place that my father liked, bought a property, even installed the handrails in the bathrooms, believed that everything will be fine.

But, before the constructions were finished, my father was, hospitalized.  Although, he was lucky, that there was, no after effects, but he’d gotten to the place where he could, no longer manage to make his meals, and do the cleaning, and the washing.

After so many years, I got to, live with both my parents, and I do believe, that this was, a blessing for us all.  But, as my father walked into my newly remodeled house, and saw the lamp, and the décor, the first words he’d spoken were, “Throw it all out!”, that I should’ve, decorated my place based off of his liking.

I’d started shaking out of sadness.  All those years of, complying with how he’d wanted to live my life, where did it lead me?  Too many things I wanted, he’d told me no, I’d always, numbed myself, telling myself, that dad knows best.  I’d wanted to major in the arts, switching from the designs major, he was against it; fine, majoring in the arts, the jobs wouldn’t be, easy to find.  I’d wanted to become an entrepreneur, to start working creatively, he’d told me, that finding a workshop wouldn’t be safe; fine, if entrepreneurship is risky, then, saving the money up shouldn’t be, right?

查看來源圖片like this???  BAD, BAD mommy!!!  Illustration found online…

Recently, I’d read a book, “Low Achievers”, and learned, that I’m not, as care-less as I’d thought I was.  I was shot down since I was growing up, and, the long-term negligence, has its, bad consequences.  After I’d, let my father controlled most of my earlier years, can I, have some of my life back again?

My father who’s, very established in his career, had already been, retired, and as we’d gone out, he’d always, gloated to everybody he’d met, saying how, I am, his cane.  But I’d wanted to tell him, DO take care of your cane, DO put it down, and pick it up, lightly, because if you are careless with me, I will, break!

And so, this is the father’s EMOTIONAL abuse toward this person, that’s, caused her/him to end up like this, because this person had been shot down repeatedly by her/his father, s/he now lacked, the confidence to do anything, and, it’s because of how controlling this individual’s father had been, s/he will, always live under her/his father’s shadows, until one day, s/he finally, had enough, and learn to, stand UP for her/himself, but, seeing how things are currently going for this person, it probably, won’t happen, for a long time, or even, at all…

In Our Times of War, and Peace…

We’re, at war, and then, we’re, truced, everything gets, flipped upside down instantly, because we’re like, two, undetonated bombs, not knowing, when or how, one another is to, EXPLODE, not knowing, how many casualties of deaths there may be because of our ways of interacting…

In our times of war, and peace, that, is how we’d, related to, each other, since way, way, way, back when, and, although, we’re, both, older now, nothing’s changed, it seemed.  We still, related to each other, using our own, explosive, and damaging, hurtful ways.

like this???  Photo from online…查看來源圖片

In our times of war, and peace, there were, the good times, and the bad, like all the marriages out there, it’s just, that the wars seemed, to rage on and on, and on, and the peace, come, and gone, too quickly.

I’m just, tired, of, trekking between these two worlds, of war, and of peace constantly, I feel like, I’m, going crazy here, not knowing what to expect, or, how I’m, to react to you, in the next second.

So, I decided, on warring with you, for good this time, and, once this war gets initiated by me, there shall be, NO treaties of peace whatsoever!  We’re gonna, DUEL until one of us, dies, and, the fight ain’t over, until, one of us had, fallen, and, is never to, get back up again!



The Slower-to-Grow Fruits are Much Sweeter When Ripened

How this man slowly, found his “calling”, in making a musical instrument, translated…

A few days ago, I’d received the notices for my sister-in-law my younger brother invited us all, to help my mother celebrate her birthday.

On this youngest brother of ours, he was, my mother’s pride, also her worries.  After my parents had three daughters, they’d finally got a son in the older ages, but, this youngest son of theirs, wasn’t that studious, but, the three of us, older sisters, are goody-two-shoes who’d studied very hard, and comparing, my youngest brother became a “black sheep”.

I don’t need to mention how bad he was in school, and, after a ton of trials, he’d finally, gotten a college degree, and it’d, fulfilled my mother’s wishes.  Although he’d not done well at all in the academia, but he had a colorful college life, during his elementary years, he’d learned to play the harmonica out of curiosity with an uncle in the neighborhoods, not good in the academics, but he was, excellent in music, and, every time he’d played the instruments, he’d, gotten everybody’s accolades. 

illustration from the papers online圖/Tai Pera

During his community college years, there were a ton of extracurricular activities, and he’d, played his harmonica, and, gotten everybody’s attention on him, and naturally, the harmonica club became his focus in college.  In college, he was the president of the harmonica club, and started entering into the elementary schools to teach the lessons, and, introduced his younger schoolmates to teach in the elementary school settings, letting them earn the hourly pays, and he’d earned the money from the differences of buying and selling the harmonicas.  And just like so, he’d slowly, found the way that worked for him.

In order to add more profits to selling the harmonicas, he’d started trying to find cheaper products, and, the factories in China became his choice, and, it’d, opened the way for him to do business in China too.

Unlike how the normal businesspeople are, as he’d toured the instrument factories, he’d always, kept that humbleness, and asked the owners of the factories and the instrument makers his questions, and gotten along with everybody well.  The owner intended to sell him the factory, and he’d mentioned it to my mother, and, despite how we three sisters were, against it, she’d insisted on giving all her life’s savings to her baby, reason being, that harmonica is the one and only thing her youngest son is better than the rest of the world on.

My youngest brother’s insistent on quality and attention to details, came in handy in the making of the musical instruments, the harmonicas manufactured in his plant got the accolades of the buyers, his business was going up.  The copper pieces needed to make the instruments, in order to stabilize the costs, he’d extended his business into the merchandizing of the copper plates too, his business was up and running, very well.

Recalling how our youngest brother who’d had a hard time in the academics, thankfully he had the interests in playing the harmonica, which helped him to become established in the business that he owned and operated today.  Seeing how my youngest brother was growing more mature, it was, just like my mother told us, “the slower the fruits grew, the sweeter they are at harvest!”

And so, this, showed how important it is, to find something that’s interesting for you to do, for you, to have the zest, the love that’s needed, for you, to keep on going, like this man had, he wasn’t good in school, but, he’d found a skill in music, and, developed his love of music, into a business that’s, flourishing by the day.

The Unorthodox Generations of New Asian Americans

Successful Asians in American society, all because, they’d, gone against the flow of things, and, STRUCK out on their own, bravely!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Asian immigrant, Jimmy moved from Hong Kong to L.A. when he was thirteen, as he’d entered into middle school, he couldn’t understand a word in English, he was, what Americans believed, the most classic kind of Asian children; good in math, can play the violin, and can play table tennis;  His father who wanted him to achieve greatness used a false address, so he can be enrolled into Beverly Hills High School, hoping that Jimmy can become like most immigrants’ children, earn a good degree, get a good job.

Jimmy used watching T.V. to help him improve his English skills, but because he’d watched the BET channels most often, other than learning a ton of slangs, he’d, acquired a love for rap music too.  He’d, recruited a couple of his classmates, to start a band, that was, his first step, into the world of, entertainment.  And yet, this venture was, unsuccessful, and as he’d thought about those day, back to the experiences, he’d still, felt, embarrassed.

Anyways, later on, he’d entered into UC-San Diego, first, he’d majored in mechanical engineering, them, switched to the economics major.  “That was the bottom line accepted by Asian parents of the easier to graduate majors”, Jimmy told, and his father worked as a financial consultant, and having an economics degree, is, at least, related to his father’s field of work.

In his boring years of university, Jimmy spent a lot of his time, smoking pot, he said, that that way, he’d, no longer be, a part of the majority of students in his school, Asians, anymore, he’d now belonged, to a minority population of Asians who smoked marijuana.  Perhaps, it’s his lacking in identity from when he was younger, that’s, driven him to become, different than the rest.  Before he graduated, his father found him a part-time job at Citibank in the finance department, and yet, that part of his working experiences, affirmed his belief, that he’d not wanted to, spend his working days, behind a desk.

“How did you work up the courage to tell your father?”, the hostess, Mrs. Howard asked him curiously at the March lecture at Google headquarters, she is the high up manager of the investment department of the company.  For his father who’d, believed, “chasing your dreams is the quickest way toward bankruptcy”, and “artists are homeless”, if Jimmy didn’t want to follow the footsteps of the successful Asians, it would be, difficult, for his family to accept it.  Jimmy recalled those days of sticking to his guns, and talking with his father, he’d understood one thing: other than living with regrets for the rest of his life, he can live with letting his parents down for a couple of years; and even if he didn’t make it, he’d needed to, first, give it a shot, to know if he will, achieve his dreams.

It wasn’t easy, leaving his, original path in life, and, life is, full of more, twists and turns, for Jimmy, who’s still, discovering what he’s, interested in.  He’d sold preowned vehicles after he got out of school, worked as the concierge of a comedy club, and became a host at a strip bar too, after awhile, he was certain, that he had, a knack for comedy.

In his 102nd audition, he’d finally got the famous producer, Mike Judge’s attention, he’d started, on a small role in Silicon Valley.  Lucky for him, the few short lines that he’d started with, slowly, made him, into one of the main characters of the shows.

Perhaps, you’d, caught the unusual Asian young man, Jimmy Ou-Yang, the unusual character in Crazy Rich Asians.  Like the star, Constance Wu, or Jeremy Lin in the NBA, they’d, strayed from the paths that Asian parents set for their young, but with their own faith and hard work, they were able to, find a separate sky to soar under; Constance Wu is the embodiment of how the new age Hollywood star breached across the races, Jeremy Lin impressed the Asians with his basketball abilities, and Jimmy O. Yang, not only did he become, a bestselling author and actor, he’d cramped up the seats in Google headquarters too.

All of these, untraditional Asian refused to follow the traditions, and not knowing, that as the roads turned, they would, become the most successful figures of Asians in European and American cultures.

And so, this still just showed, if you stick to your guns, and keep working toward that goal, and, IGNORE what everyone else says about you, your job, and just, keep true to yourselves, you can, be successful, like these individuals who’d, made a huge name for themselves in the U.S.