The “Onces” that Set Their Roots Down So Deeply…

The promises of forever love, of never changing your hearts, your feelings for one another, these are the onces that set their roots down deeply, but, after love is over, after the process of breaking up, you can’t, get OVER the fact, that there were still, so many onces that the two of you had yet to experience together.

The “onces” that set their roots down deeply, you can’t, pluck them up like those god DAMN weeds in your garden now, for their roots had grown, thick, and strong.

The “onces” that set their roots down deeply, you have NO one else to blame but yourself, for this false promise of a used-to-be love to get planted so deep.  The “onces” that set their roots down, you can’t, pull them up, because they are, so very strong, and, they’re all, so filled, with life, and uneasy, to get rid of, to exterminate, with, even the STRONGEST kind of anti-weed poisons.

The “onces” that set their roots down so deep, only time will, help them, loosen their grips on you, but, time, is the only thing that you can afford to have right now, you’d felt this pain of a broken heart for an eternity, it felt like, when in reality, it’s only been days, since the two of you broke up!

The “onces” that set their roots down so deep, they will, all, get unpluck eventually, but, time, is the only thing that is going to help, and yet, you just wanted to, hurry through, this most heart wrenching, heart aching phase?

 

 

 

 

 

The Best Way to Overcome His Betrayal with Your Best Friend

So, you’d been betrayed, by your best friend, and him too?  And, you’re still, currently trapped, by the confusions of how the HELL did this happen?  Did I not love him right?  Or, did I, allow her, to get close to “us”?

As you get lost, trying, to figure out the answers to all of these questions, you don’t even realize it yet, but, you’re, actually, running ‘round in circles, becoming that headless CHICKEN, getting NOWHERE!

The best way to overcome his betrayal with your best friend, now that it’s been “confirmed” that he DID, sleep with her, and she DID, betray your friendship, by sleeping with him, is to work on yourself, just, FOCUS all of that negative energy you feel about the two of them, back to paying more attention, loving, showing more cares and concerns for yourself, and, after you’d, learned, to respect, and love, cherish, honor yourselves, then, you’ll have that newfound strength, to love someone else new.

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Letter to My Daughter with Downs’s Syndrome on Her Wedding Day

The love of a father, his hopes, wishes, and dreams for his child, on her wedding day, from Yahoo!.com…

I am outside, beneath the window, staring up. We live for moments such as these, when hopes and dreams intersect at a sweet spot in time. When everything we’ve always imagined arrives and assumes a perfect clarity. Bliss is possible. I know this now, standing beneath that window.

I have everything and nothing to tell you. When you were born and for years afterward, I didn’t worry for what you’d achieve academically. Your mom and I would make that happen. We’d wield the law like a cudgel if we had to. We could make teachers teach you, and we knew you’d earn the respect of your peers.

What we couldn’t do was make other kids like you. Accept you, befriend you, stand with you in the vital social arena. We thought, “What’s a kid’s life, if it isn’t filled with sleepovers and birthday parties and dates to the prom?”

I worried about you then. I cried deep inside on the night when you were 12 and you came downstairs to declare, “I don’t have any friends.”

We all wish the same things for our children. Health, happiness, and a keen ability to engage and enjoy the world are not only the province of typical kids. Their pursuit is every child’s birthright. I worried about your pursuit, Jillian.

I shouldn’t have. You’re a natural when it comes to socializing. They called you The Mayor in elementary school, for your ability to engage everyone. You danced on the junior varsity dance team in high school. You spent four years attending college classes and made lifelong impressions on everyone you met.

Do you remember all the stuff they said you’d never do, Jills? You wouldn’t ride a two-wheeler or play sports. You wouldn’t go to college. You certainly wouldn’t get married. Now . . . look at you.

You’re the nicest person I know. Someone who is able to live a life of empathy and sympathy, and without agendas or guile, is someone we all want to know. It worked out for you, because of the person you are.

I would tell you to give your fiancé, Ryan, your whole heart, but that would be stating the obvious. I would tell you to be kind to him and gentle with him. But you do that already, with everyone you know. I would wish for you a lifetime of friendship and mutual respect, but you two have been together a decade already, so the respect and friendship already are apparent.

A decade ago, when a young man walked to our door wearing a suit and bearing a corsage made of cymbidium orchids said, “I’m here to take your daughter to the homecoming, sir,” every fear I ever had about your life being incomplete vanished.

Now, you and Ryan are taking a different walk together. It’s a new challenge, but it’s no more daunting for you than anyone else. Given who you are, it might be less so. Happiness comes easily to you. As does your ability to make happiness for others.

I see you now. The prep work has been done, the door swings open. My little girl, all in white, crossing the threshold of yet another conquered dream. I stand breathless and transfixed, utterly in the moment. “You look beautiful” is the best I can do.

Jillian thanks me. “I’ll always be your little girl” is what she says then.

“Yes, you will,” I manage. Time to go, I say. We have a walk to make.

This, is the thoughts of a father, watching his child with a handicap growing into womanhood, and, through the years, he saw how much his daughter had grown up, and now, she’s getting married, and, the father feels saddened, and glad, at the same time, that his baby girl is, all grown up.

Not my photograph still… 

 

 

 

 

The House is Empty…

The house is empty, it is, filled with, those vacant memories, of what used to be, reminding me, of the better times we used to live in, but now, it’s, all gone…

The house is empty, and, there’s no way, anybody can fill it back up again, it’s just not, how it goes!  The house is empty, it’s flooded over, with all the pent-up emotions of our collective pasts.  The house is empty, there’s NO doubt, and, once this vacancy, this void, this emptiness found its way inside of this house, it’ll soon, TAKE over it!

The house is empty, and, I’d worked hard, filling it up with, sand, brick, cement, and everything else.  The house is empty, and, as I sat here, on this, moldy couch, feeling the staleness that’s taking over my life…

The house is empty now, and, everything that’s happened, had turned into, smoke and mirror.  There’s NO way we’ll EVER get anything that’s lost back again, all we have, would be, the memories that slowly, dissolved like smokes, inside, this empty house.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A New Daughter-in-Law That Just Can’t Get Her Mother-in-Law to Like Her

Troubles in the home front here, a Q&A, translated…

Q: My mother-in-law is hostile toward me, what do I do?

Ms. C, who’d had a long-distance relationship with her husband for nine years, who got married at the end of last year, but now, she’d found, that her mother-in-law didn’t like her wrote me.  She said, that her mother-in-law looked after her four sons really well, but, she’s also very bossy in their lives.  From before the marriage, when her husband made a bad investment called, she’d called C up, and grilled her, for making him invest; back then, C didn’t think too much about it, felt, that it was merely, a misunderstanding from her future mother-in-law.

But, on the day of the wedding banquet, the mother-in-law stated out her regrets in front of the bride and her families, “had it not been for you, that kept holding on to my son too tightly, I’m sure, that he could find a better wife”, or something like is.  C’s family held down their anger, but, the seed of displeasure had, been planted.

The second month after they wed, C got pregnant, the husband bought a house close to his parents’, and, on the weekends, he’d headed back home, to be with his mother.  C learned from her husband, that her mother-in-law would call him up ten times a day, to remote control every single detail of his life, including telling C to find work away from home, to help put up the money for remodeling their house, and such.

Later on, because their new property had a leak, the mother-in-law called up the plumbers, and the plumbers said, that they are going to arrive in the evenings to check things out, but C, being pregnant, was fatigued, she’d turned off her cell and took a nap.  But, in the noon hours, the in-laws made their unannounced, surprised visit, couldn’t get in, and, couldn’t get through on C’s cell phone, they’d gotten off on a bad note.  And, C heard from the brother-in-law, that the mother-in-law had disliked her, ever since before she’d married her husband, and now, her own parents are standing up, telling her mother-in-law, that she wasn’t right, in treating her, that if they don’t stand their grounds, C will have to live like the oppresse4d.  C was also prepared, to get into a huge fight with her mother-in-law, it’s just, that she’s unsettled about it on the inside.

A My Opinion

The start of this in-law relationship didn’t get off on the right foot, the husband, and the brother-in-law’s transmitting the messages wrong, the over-intervention from her side of the family, the mother-in-law’s control freak tendencies, and the daughter-in-law didn’t show enough respect toward the mother-in-law either.  C should sit down, and have a discussion with her husband, and have him, talk to his own mother, to see if there’s a way, to resolve their differences; at the same time, as the daughter-in-law, C must show some kindness, otherwise, they live close to each other, and this, is only the beginning of the marriage, and she’s already pregnant, if this matter doesn’t get resolved, then, it may affect the marriage.  First, you must train yourself, to block out the words of those unrelated to the matter, and, everybody keep control over her/his ears AND mouth, at least, don’t make the situations worse.

This all started, because the mother-in-law believed, that her son can DO better, than this daughter-in-law, and, with that PRECONCEIVED notion, that, sets the relationship off on the WRONG foot, plus, there are so many improper middlemen, the distant relatives, and those who are not, directly related to the matter, chiming in where they’re NOT supposed to, that, is why, this, is getting to where it is, and, the woman is pregnant, and, she turned off her cell, and, the in-law couldn’t get in, and got angry at her?  And, all of these matters just escalated, and, it’s on, the verge of BLOWING UP in ALL of their faces!

For the Sake of Enrichments, Learn to Find My Own Bliss Alone

Enjoying a little solitude here, translated…

Traveling is a good way to get away from the stresses you feel at work, in the earlier years, I’d taken my children on group tours, and as the children got older, we’d gone on trips, to visit the family members who lived abroad.  In recent years, I’d gotten into cultural enrichments, and, touring with a group, going to visit relatives abroad, can no longer satisfy me.

I’d once gone to Pingdong, to find the glass beads, gone to Taidong, to see the cultural creations, through LINE, I’d tried to get more friends to participate with me, and, even if I’d offered to pay for their stays at the hotels, I couldn’t get anybody to be interested, in the end, I’d gone on these trips alone.  “Old age” became the thing that kept me safe, I’d once gone on subway rides to tour the sights in Japan by myself, and visited the cultural enriching sites in Tokyo.  During which time, I’d gone to Hokkaido, Kyushu, to visit with my former classmates, and I’d gone to watch a class in the universities.  During the daytime, I’d gone to see the exhibits, or stroll the streets, in the evenings, I’d stayed in the hotel room, and started scrapbooking with all the bags I’d collected during the day’s travels.

And now, I’m used to booking my trips online; the world is open and free, for my touring, it seems lonely, but instead, it’s quite, fulfilling to me.

So, this person did NOT let not having someone to travel with stop him, and, he’s living the life he wanted to live, traveling, visiting all the sites, keeping himself enriched with new experiences in life, staying active, in his elderly years, what a great way to age!

Changing Slowly, Aging Can be Very Graceful

From someone’s experiences, translated…

Because I’m able to live each and every day with fulfillment, I’d never thought, that I would, get old too.  Until one day I’d discovered, how come, the words appeared different, the closer I’d moved the reading materials, the blurrier the words became, that, was the moment I was shocked, to discover, that maybe, I am, older.  Then, I’d started, taking note of my behaviors from day to day, and now, everybody started calling me “Grandma”, ha!  So, I am, older now, in a couple more years, I will get the government-issued money for the elderly, I no longer needed to pay any money for bus fare, so many of the perks are, waiting for me.

Thinking about it, I am, more than blessed, knowing that I’m aging, slowly, changes in my lifestyle is absolutely necessary.  First, changing my exercise routines to not as active, don’t rush; the classmates with whom I’d lost contact with from before I got too busy at work, I’m now, reconnecting with; eat slower, the calligraphy I’d wanted to take up which I didn’t have the time for from before, I can now, sign up for the classes at the community college.

Waking up early every morning, taking care of my plants, plant some new sprouts, and watch them grow bigger by the day.  Now, I need to see doctors as my friends, and, go to them often, to get tips on how to stay active and healthy.  I’m going to start this brand new life, that I live, only, for myself now.

So, you’re filled with expectations, hopes and dreams, as retirement slowly comes towards you, this, is a very positive attitude to view one’s retirement, and, based off of the “tone” of this article, you can see, how active the writer must’ve been originally in her life, and now that she’s retired, she has all the time, to do the things she’d hoped to, but never found the time for.  A good way, to start off your elderly years here!