The parent here, learned to, adjust HER behaviors, so she could, relate to her own teenage son better, it’s something, that all parents, need to be able to do, to STEP down from that HIGH pedestal of I’m your parent, you listen!!! Translated…
In other to get the affinities with him this lifetime, other than heading to the temples to offer my incense, I’d also, worked hard, on taking the medications, took my own body temperatures for a whole of four years. As he’d finally, come from his past life, came towards my embrace, he was, with an assortment of all of today’s illnesses, he’d started wailing, while tears fell from my eyes, endlessly too.
To finally meet him in this life, I’d be, willing, to give my life for him, but, does he know it?
I’m thinking, that he, must.
He’d worked really hard, to be a good son who got into the prestigious schools. The six years of elementary school, three of middle school, and three more in high school, he’d scored the top of his classes, with scholarships presented to him, he’d, gone, all the way. As my colleagues, my friends or neighbors inquired, “What is your son doing now?”, as a middle school instructor, I’d said to them plainly, “he’s in the graduate department of T University………”, while, that scent of sweetness came rushing right up into my heart.
Actually, I believed, that I’d done a lot, to contribute to his good grades, because I’d, carried the belief of “accompanying” him, watched him, with his too heavy backpack, walked into the cram schools, then, several hours later, I’d watched him, carrying that heavy backpack, made his way into his bedrooms to study.
I’d not take a breather as a school instructor either. As the leaves changed colors, until the blooms of the phoenix flowers, took the students toward graduation, and made sure they’d taken their mock exams seriously, dealing with the high school placement exams. On the one hand, there were, my cute, well-behaved, studious, students, and on the other, my cherished, most, beloved son, I’d, loved them all, hadn’t it?
But, I’d found, that I was, dead wrong, after, a serious, argument.
Before the argument, I’d already felt, that there’s, almost NOTHING can discuss as mother and son, that I couldn’t, get deep, into his heart, or what he’s, actually thinking about. I’d only talked with him on the grades that he’d made, what placement he got in school this time, until his junior year of university, we’d still, just discussed, his grades.
The focus of our conflict was that he’d, accused me of “emotionally blackmailing” him. A very trendy term of pop psychology. He got angered, and stomped his way back into his room, slammed the doors, and, pushed me, to the desolate places millions of miles away from where he was.
After I’d calmed down, I’d used LINE to clarify. Kept telling him, that I was tried, in having him, that how can I possibly be emotionally blackmailing him, using the name of my love? He’d read, but, his replies were, that he didn’t, believe one word I was, saying to him.
That night, I was, so distraught, so upset, that he’d, not known how much I loved him; but I was, really glad, on the other hand too. Glad, that he was, willing, to be straightforward in communicating with me. Until he’d apologized to me, it was, close to midnight.
In order to patch up this distance between us, I’d, worked hard, followed his interests, just to create more conversation topics with him. In two short years, the two of us went on three self-help trips to Japan, and traveled throughout the country on our own several times; gone to watch his favorite films and series, discussed the novels which he loved to read so much, shared the jokes.
And I’d, finally, found a brand new interpretation of what “accompanying my son” meant.
This summer, I’d, discussed with him the fight of the parties, also, Iron Man, and the Justice League too, we’d interacted, horseplayed, like we were, friends. Although we still fought, but, we’d, immediately, made up. What’s more moving to me was, he’d, taken the initiative, to make up.
“Mom, what are we having tonight?”, “Your turn to shower, mom!”, although these are, ordinary exchanges of our day-to-day lives, but they’re so sweet, and, “I’ll do the dishes”, “I’ll take out the trash”, sounded like music to my ears. Because, my lover from a past life and I, will keep on, loving one another, in this, simplified manner, in our ordinary, day-to-day, living and interactions.
And so, this still showed, how it needs to be Y-O-U, the parents who make the initiatives for change, then, your kids will then, respond back to you, the way you wish that they would, like how this mother figured out, that she can’t force her son to change, that she can only, learn about his likes, his dislikes in life, and, once she’d, let go of her own authority as his mother, and, showed that she cared for him in a brand new way, the dynamics of their relationship changes, for the better.