Finding Out What Makes You Tick Before You Blow Up

On emotions, translated…

Mom, Do You Also Have an “Emotional Landmine”?

Do you often get angered by the careless words of your other half, and just exploded?  If you can understand what emotional landmines you may have, it would help greatly, in improving your relationship with your spouse.

When your husband gets home from work and asks, “Do you need me to ‘help’ you watch the kids?” or, “How come ‘your’ son still hadn’t done his homework yet?” these two simple inquiries, may cause the mothers who are already stressed out, running around and about to blow up, and reply, “Why do you say I am ‘helping’ you, what does it mean by ‘your’ son, am I the only one this child has?”

Actually, whether you are full-time mother or full-time employee, you will spin around endlessly like a top, around the kids, your spouses, your families, and work as well, not only would you lack the time to groom through your own thoughts and feelings, you’d probably be emotionally tense all the time too, and, a simple word from your husbands may cause the wives to EXPLODE, because they’d misstepped onto the landmines of the wives’.

And people may be curious, as to how a simple line can cause the mothers to explode?  The assistant CEO of the Yoyuan Foundation, Huang smiled and told, that she has multiple landmines herself as well, she’d realized, that when the ideals inside of the mothers’ minds were broken, that, was the key to why the mothers would get angered.

Before women married, they will draw out an idealistic picture of their families, they’d imagined that a loving couple standing parallel to one another, holding hands, as they care for their children and families together.

And so, when the husband stated, “I’ll help you”, or “your son”, along with some other words, the wives may feel, that the husbands had destroyed her idealisms of what marriages should be, and, as this thought started taking up root, they’d start to realize, that they’re not standing parallel to their husbands, he’s the king of the castle, but I’m not the queen, just a messenger between the king, the princes, the princesses, their nannies and housekeeper, and, with this thought, the negative emotions would settle in.

So, the reason why women would explode is because of how they feel underappreciated by their families, and, the families usually take the mothers and the wives (1 @ a time) for granted, like we’re supposed to wipe your asses, because that, is the woman’s role, as mothers and wives.

And here are the solutions to resolve all of this:

  • Finding a Perspective that Can Make You Feel Happy: the family, the children, they’re ALL yours, NOT someone else’s, moms must believe, that they’re handling everything well on their own, work hard to try to find what makes you all happy.  And when the mothers are happy, then, they will be more than capable to face up to other people’s doubting them.  If moms believe in themselves, then, they would not get affected by the words of others easily.
  • State Your Feelings Clearly: There’s no use, keeping everything bottled up inside, moms must express their thoughts thoroughly, otherwise, there would be husbands and family members who wouldn’t have a single clue of what mothers are angry about.  It’s best that you choose the time when the two of you are calmed and collected, to express your thoughts and feelings, sometimes, arguing doesn’t get you where you want to be, clearly telling your husbands how you feel is the more straight forth way of doing this.

For instance, you need to tell your husband, “I’d already talk to the child, it’s just that you didn’t see, what you’d just said made me upset, made me feel beaten.” If you told your husbands that you were hurt by their words, your husbands would have more empathy.  When the two of you are dealing with conflicts, you must sort through the emotions, then, the issues.  Meaning, that you need to clearly tell your spouses how you feel, and at the same time, empathize with the other person, then, you can talk about your expectations, your needs.

  • Talk About Your Ideals of What Family Should be Like with Your Family Members: when family and the ideals for marriage get broken, I suggest that mothers can find a bright day, go out for coffee with your husband, and talk about how you two envisioned your family life to be, and restructure the new blueprint, hoping that you can both respect and comply with the new rules.And so, this, is how to get along with each other in a marriage, when your views are not taken in, maybe, it’s because you’re NOT stating it in a way that the other person can receive it, at this time, you may get frustrated, but, think about how the other person is also frustrated about her/his views not understood by you, and, then, you will have empathy toward one another.

  1. “Needless to say, there are, greater expectations and stresses placed on the men by society”, Wei-Chih Wei stated, even in today’s world, men needed to work harder, to fulfill the expectations that the workforce, as well as the families place on them, “the couple must understand one another, show empathy, so there wouldn’t be ongoing wars!”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Losing the Weight of Your Love

Your love, don’t know when, had grown to become, so heavy, and, it was, keeping me down, making me feel so tied up and bound, and I longed, to fly, to soar above the skies.

So, I’d decided, that I was going to, lose the weight of your love, now, this decision wasn’t at all easy, in fact, it was, very heart wrenching, because I didn’t know how I could live without your love, as I’d depended on it for so very long previous.

But, that sound, from the depth of my soul kept urging me, to break free, from the bondage, and so, I took that knife, and, severed these steel wings of yours that’d become mine, and, the moment those heavyset wings fell off my back, I felt the wind lifting me up…

Losing the weight of your love, I had, and now, you have NO hold onto me, because I was NEVER yours, although, at a previous time (b/c I was too young, too naïve, and no, still NOWHERE NEAR stupid!), I thought we’d belonged together, but that bubble burst, too soon is the thing.

Losing the weight of your love, I’m now, able, to move about freely and I found that light back in my steps again, and for the very first time in my life, I can, open, expand my lungs, and, BREATHE!  And, it feels, oh so amazing!

Losing the weight of your love, I had, and now, you will be haunted, by my used-to-be-there love for you, and you won’t lose that that easily, because it (my lost love for you) will, keep on, tying you up, keeping you B-O-U-N-D………

I Stare at This Unoccupied Swing in My Backyard

I stare at this unoccupied swing in my backyard, where you would’ve been, had you been born, the swing set came with the house, before I thought I would’ve had you…

I stare at this unoccupied swing in my backyard, and, I started imagining (hallucinating is more like it!) a little girl, running to and fro, grabbing my hand, to show me your newest discoveries, and then, I’m dragged back, into this DEAD, this COLDNESS of the real world, a world, where you’re already DEAD!

I stare at this unoccupied swing in my backyard, god DAMN it, why the HELL did I have to buy this house, with a god DAMN swing set anyways!  And now, it just, sat there, as a reminder, of you, that no longer existed, in this reality of mine………

I stare at this unoccupied swing in my backyard, and, I listen close, and, it’s, as if, I could, almost, hear that chime of your laughter, your voice, telling me, to push you, harder, so you can, fly higher………

A Year After I Walked into that Tunnel

I took that first step, walked in, to the depth of that tunnel, not knowing where it’s going to lead me, about a year ago, and, I’m still walking this path right now…

A year after I walked into that tunnel, I’m only beginning to understand what was going on all around me, at first, the lights were too bright, they’d made me blind, and, I used my hands as a guide, to help me move forth.

A year after I walked into that tunnel, I didn’t think I’d be able to find my way out again, but I had, finally, and, I was so surprised, as I saw that light up front, at first, I thought it was, just like my previous hallucinations, ‘cuz I’d been walking along for so god DAMN long, and, with NO end in sight, you’re BOUND to see things that aren’t really there, but, as I’d walked closer, the light was still steady, unlike how I previous encountered, and I guess, that this, was different to my own hallucinations?  After I’d confirmed, that it was for real, I ran, quick as I possibly could toward it.

A year after I walked into that tunnel, I’m finally O-U-T, and, a year in the dark, is simply, way too long!  And now, I will NEVER be back, inside that tunnel again, I’d gotten out already, and I’m never going to go back!

and no, this is still NOT my photograph! 

Making His Lies Sound So Sincere

He has a way, of dressing his lies up, so they’d looked, feel, and seemed more like the truth…

Making his lies sound so sincere, and you would, fall for it, in a heartbeat, besides, who can resist those pouty lips, those sad droopy eyes anyway, right?

Making his lies sound so sincere, that, was how he managed to have you trapped, and, you’d gotten so used to living under his methods, even IF he now opens that caged door to let you out, you would’ve lost the will, the ability, to MAKE your escape.

Making his lies sound so sincere, and, because you had been the prey, and he, the predator, you keep on letting him play this game of cat & mouse with you, and, you know how those god DAMN cats would play with their foods, toy around with their catches, before they’d dropped them inside of their throats, right???

Making his lies sound so sincere, but, NO matter how hard he’d dressed up those lies, they’re still, lies in the very end, and, when the effects of your infatuations finally wears off, you will, finally, have the courage to leave, but, it’s just, that the effects of your infatuations toward him is still quite strong, so…

 

 

Not Panicky Toward Being Single

Keeping a positive outlook on life NO matter what, translated…

A lot of people believed, that living alone is a lonely way to live, I don’t believe it to be so.  Who says, that a woman must have a man?  So long as you managed to pass through the overreliance on a man, then, you won’t be trapped by the feelings of “oh no, I’m still single”. Let’s all change our perspectives, and trade our older brains for a brand new one that’s more independent!

First, you must be able to support yourselves economically.  There were those housewives, because they didn’t make any income, and their husbands nickeled and dimed, any money spent can get turned into the cause of their arguments; if you can maintain that economic independence, then, no matter what happens, at least, you’ll be okay.

Secondly, you need to make yourselves happy.  These couple of years I’m single, I’d always felt, that even when I’m unhappy, I shouldn’t give off a vibe to others that I’m not happy.  Being alive is a blessing in itself, and, being able to breathe, to eat, is a kind of joy, and, there are still so many wonderful things in life for us to discover.

Thirdly, you must know how to give to the world around.  Having the ability to give to others is the source of happiness, but, you mustn’t work your hands to the bones, or slave your lives away for others, instead, open your hearts, show care and concerns toward others.  When you’re willing to smile at someone first, then, the other person will be more than willing to respond to your act of kindness, passing on this warmth, so, why not?

Change a thought, no matter if you’re single or with someone, you can live a fulfilled life.

One woman’s views on how to be happy, and, she is right, that when kindness is shown by you to someone else, then, the one who’d received your kindness will gladly reciprocate it back to you, and pass the kindness s/he received from you to the next person s/he comes into contact with, and that, is how the goodness cycle rolls.

Sending an Order Slip to the Universe, a Short Prose

Translated…

Wish: I will work hard, to become a simple-to-read tale, like how the fog rises upward, like how the lovers say goodbye by the windows, or, like those stars that filled the skies, that people can easily read, as they lifted their heads.

So, this, is how someone wants her/his story to be, simple to read, but not too bored, that people will put it down after the first few pages, it’s how someone wants to make one’s own life meaningful.