The Imprints of His Lies

You’d been, branded, like those, farm animals, by his lies, and, there’s, no way, you’ll EVER, rid yourself, of that permanent TATTOO now!

The imprints of his lies, they’d, become so deeply, entrenched, they’d gotten, so deep inside your heart and soul, that you can’t, get them back out again, not as easy as that nail you’d stepped on (in which case, I would, strongly recommend you go and get that TETANUS shot!!!)………

not my artwork…

The imprints of his lies, you’d, left him a long, long, long again, and thought, that his lies no longer affected you anymore, but, no matter how far you’d gotten, down the road, his lies had become, imprinted, into your life, and, there’s, NO way, of shakin’ it loose.

The imprints of his lies, the only way, to get rid of that scorched brand he’d implanted onto you, is by, getting OFF of him (like an addiction???), but, because, you’re not ready, to let what you’d invested into that relationship go yet, you’d still felt, taken advantage of, and kept wanting, to get your equal payback, which just, keeps you, trapped deeper, deeper, and deeper…………

not my sketch…a heart bleeding 的圖片結果

 

 

 

Taking These Words Back

Thought I should, write something to you, and so, I’d, sat myself down in front of my desk, turned on the computer, started typing, and, after just a few short lines, I’d, backspaced over everything again.

Taking these words back, it sounded simple enough, doesn’t it, after all, nothing IS final, before you press that “send” button, isn’t it? Taking these words back, as they are not, what I’d, wanted, to say to you anymore!

not my picture…

Taking these words back, but, the thought had, already, freed itself from my mind, gained, a mind all its own, and now, it’s, running with scissors here. Taking these words back, I don’t know if I should, or if I can, as, these words I’d kept, I’d wanted, to speak them aloud to you, just never had the chance to yet, and now, finally, I have, my DAY in COURT.

Taking these words back, I won’t, as you can’t take back what you’d already said, just like you can’t, unthank a thought, once that thought forms from within you, it takes on, a life all its own, and all you can do, is to hope, that it doesn’t, cause too much, irreparable damages!

finding it hard to swallow here, are we now?  Not my photograph…

Taking these words back, why? I have ZERO regrets over anything I’d ever done, and besides, I will, NOT take anything back I’d already said, because it goes against my character…

 

Caught the Rain…

Call it, my carelessness, if you will, and no, I still, don’t pay ANY attention to the weather forecasts!

like this, NOT my picture…

Caught the rain, but gladly it was, only starting to fall, and so, I’d, hastened my own pace, as I, walked through these, busy city streets. Caught the rain, and I’d just, allowed my self, to become, drenched in it, to have it, cleanse me, from head, down to toe.

Caught the rain, but why you ask? Because, the rain has that, renewing property, it can, cleanse all your yesterdays off of you, make you, renewed, and, refreshed too, don’t you know…

standing in the rain without an umbrella 的圖片結果like this, NOT my photograph still…

Caught the rain, and I still, don’t like it one bit, especially when I’d just, washed and blown dry my hair! Caught the rain, and I know, that this, wasn’t the last time, the rain should, catch me off-guard, without an umbrella!

Caught the rain, just like, ANY other occasions, sunny, cloudy, I still, walk on, just keep on, marching, toward that, distant future that’s, waiting there for me………

 

It’s a Blessing, Changing Tracks

Quitting, because of a misunderstanding had, opened up a door of opportunity for the woman, while those who’d stayed at her former job, well, they’re not, doing so well, translated…

That day, I received a call from my former coworker, May, she’d told me she wanted to talk to me about something, and I’d known right away, that she’d hit a bump at work again.

At first, she’d worked as an accountant at her last job, she’d gotten along with her two assistant at first, but later on, they’d gotten on bad terms because of the assignments of tasks, they’d started blaming me for not making the right calls; it’d put me, who was stuck between my manager and my subordinates, in a difficult position.

May who works in the auditing department who started working four months before I had, because of our age, we’d become, the best of friends, and had spent lunch and gotten off work together often. I’d originally thought, that May understood me, but once, my assistant had gone over me, to complain about me, May didn’t stand up for me right away, and believed in the exaggerated claims of my assistant. Later on, we’d argued for almost an hour in the manager’s office, as I’d stepped out of the office feeling disappointed, I’d bumped into my boss, and, I told him, that I wanted, to quit, and, not knowing what had happened, he’d not said a word, and signed off on my resignation.

On my last day of work, I’d asked May to head to the rooftop restaurant for lunch with me. During the time, May was displeased at how I’d just, quit my job, not consulted her first. She’d believed, that there is, room for discussion still, but I was already, a defeated soldier, ready, to leave.

After a month of break time, I’d started working at my current company as an executive accountant, although I’d made a lower pay compared to before, but, the coworkers got along very well with each other. During this time, I’d still kept contact with May, and she’d from time to time, told me of the office goings-on since I’d left.

Later on, May finally learned what her assistance was all about, and felt bad about having misunderstood me from before. Every time she’d told me about the happenings at my former workplace, I’d felt, so very glad, that I’d, quitted that job from before.

I’d heard, that the new executive accountant was excellent working, and the superior depended greatly on her, and the two assistants both left the job one by one, because they have different ideals about the company. And because the workers came and went too quickly, May started becoming left out by the boss, and from time to time, she’d become, the scapegoat of things, she’d felt trying.

Tonight, May lined me, and we’d shared the goings-on of our separate lives, I’d told May, that I’d not blamed her for misunderstanding me from before, instead, I was, more than grateful toward her. Having tripped and fallen, it’d made me realize a lot of things, and now, I’d learned, to become more humbled in interacting with others, and I’d not evaded my responsibilities, when troubles come up in the workplace either. I know, that maybe, May’s future may be filled with bumps, but I believe, that she too, will be like me, finding her own path in life as well.

So, this, is the goings on of an office, because the woman’s manager misunderstood her, didn’t hear both side of the story, and caused her to quit, and, this just shows, that there’s, problem from the top down, because if it’s a company that runs well, meaning that the CEO, the boss, oversees everything, then, everything and everyone below the CEO should also, work out smoothly, but it didn’t, so, it’s the operations of the company that’s having the problems, and, the narrator had, quit, and switched to a better job because of it.

Umbrella, on Filial Relations

The story of a closely knit family, translated…

My husband wanted to exercise on the weekends, I’d returned back to my mother’s place to pick up his racket. But the long weekend was impacted by the cold fronts, moving eastbound, the weather up north became overcast with rain and cold. I’d, arrived at my mother’s around midnight, turned on that yellow light, and, there were, the various colored and sizes of umbrellas, in full-bloom on the lanai.

As my mother saw me, she’d started nagging on how I’d not called first, so she could prepare the meals beforehand; but, I’d, made plans to take her out to dine, that, was why I’d not let her know beforehand, that I was coming home.

The very next morn, I’d given my eldest sister a lift to the station, she’d wanted to take advantage of the long weekend, to head south to meet up with her boyfriend. My eldest sister, in her thirties, other than the four years of college she’d gone to another close by city to study, she’d lived away, the other times, she’d, stayed at home. And as for me, since I’d turned eighteen, I’d not had the opportunity, to live at home again, I got married soon.

Before I wed, I’d gone home once every two, three months; every time I’d needed a ride back to my own place, my eldest sister would give me a lift to the stations. And, if the rain started pouring down, or she’s busying on something, she’d still, accompanied me to the bus stops. The bus stop was only about two blocks away, I’d worried that it was too troubling for her, and told her not to go, and yet, she’d told me, that going with me, so she could get a cup of coffee.

My eldest sister would wait with me until the bus arrived, and, waved goodbye to me, as I’d put down my suitcase, and searched for her through the glass windows, she’s also, searching for me too, then, we’d, waved again toward one another, goodbye.

And this scene was swapped for the very first time, I’m now, seeing her off. Before she went out, she’d pulled that brown umbrella that’s dried up together, pulled out another umbrella that’s, indigo in color, said that it’s for two, because her boyfriend NEVER carries an umbrella, she’d bought an oversized one. As we arrived at the bus station, the bus cam earlier than we’d expected, I’d watched her off quickly, felt unwilling to let go, unsettlement, as well, as that hint of joy too. This was, the first time my eldest sister had, started dating, I hoped, that this trip will be fruitful for her, and all of a sudden, I’d gotten, a better understanding of how she’d felt, seeing me off too.

After the bus took away my eldest sister, I’d popped that single umbrella open, headed toward the breakfast shop, and bought my younger sister’s designated breakfast, hot soymilk and cheese eggroll.

I’d opened up the door to my mother’s house, and, two umbrellas were missing, one belonged to my eldest sister who’d just, left, the other, my mother’s.

My youngest sister popped out her head and told me, that although it’s pouring out, my mother still insisted on getting groceries at the local markets.

From the simple interactions, you can see, that there is, a lot of love that’s within this family. The family is very closely-knitted, and, the members of the family cared a lot about one another, which is what makes this family work so well as a whole.

The Vision of My Self at Seventy

A role model, for the younger generation, aging, with grace, translated…

While I was still a child, I’d thought, that thirty-five is old, and as I’d arrived to this age, I’d felt, that fifty is old; and now, I’m, knocking on fifty, I’d felt, that midlife, isn’t really, that old at all. What’s meant by elderly, I suppose, it’s, over seventy! By then, I would’ve totally become, visually impaired, slowly immobilized, and can only, move around and about closer to my house, and I won’t be able to, go around as I’m doing right now.

And still, since I’d started keeping a vegetable garden at Danshui, and gotten to know my next door neighbor, Aunty Chen, it’d, given me, a whole other interpretation of what being elderly meant.

a person at her seventies 的圖片結果like this elderly woman, NOT my photograph…

At age seventy-something, Auntie Chen was once, the owner of a printing factory. She’d worked very hard through the years, and saved up some money, and lost it all in the last economic downturn, she’d started, living in regrets, until a friend asked her to keep a vegetable garden, that, was when she finally saw the light back into her own life.

Through planting the vegetables, Aunty Chen realized, that although there are, storms in nature, so long as you don’t get too greedy, you wouldn’t lose too much; on the contrary, so long as you put all your heart into planting, what you’d gained in your harvests, are way more than what you’d put in, that the gains are, better than ALL of the possible stock and options. Take for instance, her passion fruits, last year, the weather was weird, a lot of the fruit farmers didn’t have good harvests, but, her trees were, fruitful.

But, if you think that she’d slaved herself, to grow enough produce, then, you are, DEAD wrong. She has a group of girlfriends her age, which she’d called on, to go hiking with, to travel with; yesterday, I’d visited her in her garden, Aunty Chen told me, that today and tomorrow, she’s planning to go on a trip to Taidong, to hike the Dulang Mountains.

elderly, living an active lifestyle 的圖片結果keeping active is one way to stay healthy in the elderly years, NOT my photograph…

Every now and then, Auntie Chen would volunteer at the not-for-profit organizations, like she has extra arms, and so, from before, imagine how shocked I was, when she’d told me, that she’s not, in good health.

Seeing how Aunty Chen in her seventies, still very active in her life, I’d gained, a different vision, for my own elderly years now.

So, this elderly woman, is a role model, for how this writer want to grow old to become, and this woman has a positive outlook for her own elderly years, filled up her schedule with tons of activities she enjoyed, that, is why she’s, fulfilled, even though she’s now, retired.

That Old Suitcase…

Remember that old suitcase we’d taken on our honeymoon? Remember, how it was, such a simple leather case, without too much added on (the combination locks, the keys, etc., etc., etc.). The times, they were, simpler then, weren’t they?

That old suitcase, with ALL those years of our good AND bad memories, collected into it, it’d been, sitting up there, in the attic, for ages, forgotten, by us both…

something that looks like this, perhaps???  Photo from online…舊皮箱 的圖片結果

That old suitcase, it’d, carried, all our former years of love, and now, on the verge, of parting ways, I’d, stumbled upon that old thing, as I’d, cleaned out the attic, of this house, where ALL the memories, were made.

It’d, tumbled down, and, opened all on its own, and, the contents within it, they’d all, spilled out, splattered, all over the floors of that dusty old attic. I’d, started, cleaning up, picking up its, contents, not paying the things that were in there any mind, at first.

Then, a photo of us, on that very first vacation, with the kids, popped out, and, I’d, picked it up, looked at us closely, that was, one of our, best moments together, wasn’t it?

and inside of it, photo from online…

And, look at us now! We’d lived separate lives, we’d, managed, to, raise three wonderful children into their adulthood years, and they’re now all, doing quite well in their separate lives, our jobs as their parents, are done here!

That old suitcase, was the only thing I took, plus the assets, split down in the middle, in our long and overdue divorce, and, I’d, stored it, in the attic again, of this loft that I bought with my alimony, and, forgotten, that it’s, there, like how, we’d lived in this former marriage we once shared, like two strangers too………