She Only Used Him as a Rebound, But After the Breakup, She Couldn’t Let Go

In need of relationship advice here, a Q&A, translated…

Q: Ms. C wrote, that when her last relationship ended, she was so heartbroken, she’d used a brand new relationship, to help her get over the lost love, and that, was why she’d started dating her boyfriend whom she’d just met.  Up to this point, this attitude was not the right one to have, but, it’s not too outrageous; but she’d just wanted the man to help pull her out of the swamp of her lost love, and worried that there may be issues if and when they break up later on, so she’d kept holding something back from him, only willing to use LINE to interact with him, and they’d rarely had any pictures together when they’re together.

not my picture…

Her boyfriend saw, that she’s not into him and had set up a ton of protective external shells, so, he’d started, becoming more and more passive in the relationship too.

They’d dated for a year and four months, at first, because the guy’s work is too busy, they’d only had the chance to meet up once every week, then, they’d not seen one another but three times a month.  A few days ago, the guy used the excuse of he may be transferred back home as the reason for breaking up with her, and told C, “I kept on feeling, that I was only, your temporary solution, you’d refused to get together more, and refused to take pictures with me, and so, I can only choose to, suppress my own feelings for you too.”

C admitted to that she’d started the love wrong, but she’d wanted to know, if this was merely, an excuse that the guy was using, to dump her?

A My Advice:

C is truly, a bizarre woman.  Everything she’d done to a point, was it not, for the sake of the difficulties at break up?  And, if that was so, then, as the man wanted to go, isn’t that exactly C would want, what’s there to be regrettable about?  And why would she be so kempt, on whether or not he was only using that as an excuse for breaking up?

Maybe, C had been hurt in love, and just, didn’t want to hurt again, so she’d kept her heart locked, but, NOT every man is the same.  And, you’d been together for a year and four months already, if you felt that he is an okay guy, you could’ve had the chance to start over by coming clean with him, so why didn’t you?

not my photo…

Sometimes, people need to be in the state of solitude, and sort through one’s own emotions, and think about, if the member of the opposite sex close by is fitting for oneself.  Being so afraid of being lonely, without letting yourself saturate, and start grabbing at any straws, it will, make MORE tragedies, and you’d end up, wasting away MORE of your life, and youth too.

So, this woman used this man as a rebound, and, the man felt, that she wasn’t serious in the relationship, that she was merely using him as a REBOUND, and now, the woman is slowly getting better, and wanted to salvage this love of hers, but the man had, thrown in the towels, and this is still due to how they’d not started on the same page as the relationship started, and how she wasn’t truthful to herself, and him in the first place, now, she will, suffer the losses.

 

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