Everything is No Longer the Same Now…


After I had my third child, I was shocked, to discover, that there were, strands of whites, mixed in, my head of black, it was, the year that I’d turned, thirty-nine.  As my youngest son went to kindergarten, I’d started discovering, how come I can’t read the papers with my glasses?  Turns out, presbyopia had, come and found me.  During the time my son studied in elementary school, I’d climbed up two flights of stairs from the parking garage to the courtyard, felt out of breath, and now, my son is in eighth grade, and, as I walked on a few more steps, my knees would object by aching.

not my picture…

From before as I’d handled the household chores, I was Wonder Woman, no matter how heavy the work, no matter how difficult, I could, shoulder on my own; and now, hauling along a few packing boxes, my back began aching, and I’m seeing stars all around me, getting dizzy.  I could keep everything intact inside my mind in the past, and now, I’d needed to write things down on the Post-It notes, thought, that I can have everything covered, but, oftentimes, I’d forgotten, where I had, placed that Post-It note.

A couple of years ago, I can finish drafting up one, to two essays, and now, I’d needed to take days, to finish one essay, and, I’d started wondering, did I, run out, of writing skills now?

In the elementary years, I’d flipped over the walls, to gone and play in the kindergarten next door, in middle school, I’d, rebelled, talked back to my school teachers, in technical high school, we’d gotten so loud that the roof was about to get raised, I’d not forgotten, a single event that happened long ago, but, I’d had limited number of memories of my sons’ childhood moments, and all that I can recall, were the vague images of them playing.  I’d often gotten so very mad with my sons, on the things I didn’t say or do, and they’d hollered, “We shall start recording everything you say from here on out!”

yeah, uh, this happens…

I could be, talking on my cell, and looking, frantically, for my cell; I’d wanted to read the newspapers, but, I can’t seem, to find the reading glasses that’s found, their place of rest on my head; I’d started chatting with my younger sister, she’d interrupted me, and, I’d forgotten, where I left off from before.  And, the assortment of incidents like these are happening, more, and more often with the passing of time.

While I was still a young girl, I could care LESS about the freckles on my face, and now, the sunspots, they had me all stressed out; as I was a young cougar, I’d still had a smoother facial texture, but now, I’d feared, gazing upon the mirrors, and noticing those fe4w extra wrinkles by my eyes, on my face, or across, my forehead.  And, I’d put on my makeup, to make myself look younger, and, my sons’, “No matter how you look, you’re still, old”, immediately, I’d, returned, to my older state of being.

see how it shrinks???  Not my picture still…

Recalling a commercial, where an elderly woman asking the elderly man, “Did you have your meds already?”  “Did I, or, didn’t I?”, the elderly man stated, and this sort of thing actually, happened, to me too, looking at the bags of medication on the tables, I’d wondered to myself, “Did I take it already?”

Gladly, all of these weird things, aren’t just, happening, to me, my younger sister often played the game of “Whose winning” with me, we’d lodged in a competition of who’s more forgetful than whom, who’d grown older.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, time, just doesn’t work for me now.  Everything, IS changed!

So, for this woman, the coming of age was so sudden, that it’d, left her, flustered, and, that is how aging works, at a certain marker, like say, fifty-five, everything started going DOWNHILL, you’d forget more, and repeated yourselves a lot, and you’re troubled by it, starting to fear, that if you’re, slowly, becoming, demented, while it’s only, a part of the regular aging process, as the mind becomes older, you will, forget more and more, that, is how the human mind works…


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