They’re Still Children

not my comic…

Thoughts…translated…

As I’d started teaching in middle school, I wasn’t happy, because some of the students’ attitudes when they’d done something wrong, thy carried that sense of no big deal, and so what, or that, they’d, smiled, like fools at me to reply; although I’d, corrected them time and time again, but, they’d done it over, and over again, and, it’d, annoyed me.  Sometimes, I’d wondered, if they did it on purpose, just so I get mad, or that if they’d, actually, not kept the rules in their minds.

As I married, I’d kept trying to keep our world orderly, but, every time, I’d gotten angered, by my husband’s bad habits, his careless attitude, in the everydayness of our lives, had, gotten on my nerves, and I’d often fought with him over it.  I’d even started, doubting if there was something wrong with his education from his side of the family, but, I’d thought about my mother-in-law who was illiterate, who’d had a stroke at the prime of her life, I couldn’t bring myself to blame her, after all, it was, hard enough, for her, to use her weakly body, to bring up his three sons, how can she possibly, ask for anything more in life?  And my husband, he was raised, in the conditions of “So long as I get by”.

But this was, difficult on me, the fights I’d started with him every two to three days can’t make him change, after all, it is, hard, to get him out of the habit, as he’d carried on using his ways for a very long time already, I’d put up with him, only asked him, to not make such a huge mess, but strangely, all of angers vanished, as I found, that pile of already-worn, smelly socks, stashed, inside of his closets.

not my photograph…

At that moment, I sudden understood, that my husband will NOT change, just like how I’d never, changed my beliefs too, and because of it, shouldn’t I, change my beliefs slowly, a step, at a time?  If adults are like this, how can I ask a child who’d between adulthood and childhood to do the same, in the shortest time, have them all, follow all the rules I’d set up for the classes?

“Did you forget?  Do you not know it?  Fine, then I’ll say it again, you all need to, keep it in mind!”, I’d stopped, being so forceful now, started being more lenient, and ever since, I’d stopped, stressing myself out, I’d stopped, getting angry too.  Because, why would you, need to, get angry, at a child?

So, from her own interactions with her husband, this woman realized, that her orderliness may not work for everybody, and she’d, stopped asking her students to follow all her rules, and that was, the adjustments she’d made to her own belief systems, from interacting, observing her own family life.

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