He’d Always Tell Me He Needs More Space, and I’d Waited for Him, Each and Every Night, and Nobody Came

Being kept, vs. going to pursue her own dreams, and this woman is having troubles deciding, a Q&A, translated…

Q: Ms. NANA who’s from faraway, sent me a letter, filled with her sorrows.  She’s twenty-five years old, and she’d had it rough in love all the way; and although she has a steady boyfriend, but she’d guessed that because he was from a single-parent household, he’d not wanted to come home earlier, and would always stay out into the wee hours of the night, hanging out with his own friends, and wouldn’t come home to where they live until three, or four in the mornings.

kept, in a gilded cage…

In order to see her boyfriend, NANA would often wait up for him, and even though it is only a fifty-minute drive between her place and his, he still wouldn’t pick her up, and would ask her to driver herself to his place.  And, NANA would always drive out in the depth of the night, with sleepiness, overcoming her, she’d communicated with her boyfriend on this matter numerous times, hoped he could treat her more kindly, but the boyfriend believes, that he was, nice enough to NANA already, he’d given her everything she’d asked for in materials, and so, she should give him more space.

The problem is, NANA felt that this was no way of getting along with her boyfriend at all, she doesn’t want to keep on waiting like this.  Is it that she didn’t know how to communicate with him?  Or, is he, unwilling to change his own behaviors for her?  Or, because she didn’t want to, was unwilling to, let him go, she couldn’t tell.  NANA wanted someone to consult with on this matter.

A My Advice:

It sounds, as though, this relationship for NANA is more like the one being “kept”, the boyfriend doesn’t seem to have much love for her, just used his money, to “keep a cute pet”, and when he felt like it, he’ll, play with her, have some fun with her.  And, if communicating with him doesn’t work, then, NANA should start planning for her own future, slowly, training herself, to stop caring for him, to learn a skill, so she can live on her own without her boyfriend (because I see no good that will come, of keep on waiting); and, during the time that she is still training herself to become viable, she can use the money he’d given her, to learn a viable life skill, to make her own friends, to enrich her own life, stop waiting like a dummy, for a man’s occasional care and concern of her.  You have his money, and you should, learn something, cultivate yourself more.  When you’d become a better, a more charming woman, would you still need to worry, that you can’t attract the right kinds of men?  Your youth is short, stop waiting it away.

not my photograph…

So, this woman is at a deadlock, she’s kept well, materialistically, her boyfriend gave her any and everything she’d asked him for, but didn’t feel like investing the same amount of emotional care and concerns for her, and, this woman is now wanting more from her guy, but he just still treated her like she’s his pet, playing with her when he felt like it, and, the woman SHOULD use the money he gave her to take up a skill, to make herself better, just like the advice columnist suggests her to.


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