Adapting to the Changes in Life, the Growth of a Woman


My son is married, and about to become a father, my daughter-in-law has this new age belief, she’d already set up her stay at the afterbirth care center, and, the way to raise the young, she’d gotten all the opinions of her friends and from online too; as a great grandmother, my mother-in-law would often give her advice on childrearing, and seeing how my daughter-in-law’s face looked so bitter, I’d chimed in, said, “Mom, times are different now, relax, the baby will grow up safe and sound!”

the cycle of life…

And even though with that said, thinking of how my son is about to fly out of the nest and start his own family, I’d still felt a mixture of happiness and loss.  Happy, because he’d found the significant other in his life, sad, because my son, who’d lived under my caring skies will now, fly out, and find his own separate set of sky to soar in.  Too many words, fearing that they might become burdensome, too much love can, turn into stress too, so, I’d told myself, it’s time, to let go.

Just like how my father-in-law taught me to plant the yams, carrying that forgiving attitude toward me, in the past, I’d only acted as a helper, but because of my father-in-law’s knees deteriorating, I’d become, the one planting, with him right by my side, giving me the tips.  My mother-in-law spoke, “Just plant it however, it will grow just the same!”, maybe, it’s because of my mother-in-law’s words, later on, the deweeding, the fertilizing, my father-in-law never intervened, and because of how he’d let go, I’d slowly, gotten to love, working in the fields.

My mother-in-law’s house is located up the hills, with a huge pond of spring water, and, no matter if it’s the summers or the winters, she’d always squatted down by the springs and washed her laundry.  She’s an expert in doing the laundries, she could whiten the soiled clothes so they’d become spotless and brand new, and she’d also taught me to smack the clothes with the cleaning rod, she’d said, “That way, it’d get rid of this water that makes the clothes feel rough.”  I’d once told her worriedly, “mom, if one day, you’re unable to wash the clothes anymore, and I can’t clean it as well as you had, you must feel that the clothes I’d washed for you to put on very uncomfortable.”

not my photograph…

My mother-in-law smiled and replied, “I’ll wait until I can no longer beat the clothes!”, later on, as I watched her, sitting, so focused by the spring, using all her force to beat the clothes clean, it’d, dawned on me, that at the age of eighty, my mother-in-law was cleaning her own laundry by hand, it’s a sort of a blessing.  There are many stages in life that we’d needed to learn to let go, to know when to let go, then, just give the blessings, so you can feel the maturation with the years.

So, this, would be the mother-in-law’s approach to life, and, as an elder, this mother-in-law surely has a ton of new age beliefs, she’d helped her daughter-in-law see, that there’s nothing to worry about with her son, and showed, that being able to still work is a blessing at her age.


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