The Woman Behind Me Earning My Doctorate

On marriage, translated…

My coworker posted her husband’s doctorate graduation photo on Facebook, with the message of “the Eight Years’ Worth of Hard Fight”. She said, that back then, in order to support her husband to live his dreams, she can only stay at home and look after her two young children, giving up her paycheck, once, after the child spit out the milk over the entire bed, the husband was in the study, working hard away, she couldn’t ask him to help out, without anybody else’s support, she’d gotten, so furious, this reminded me of something similar in my life, it’d happened, in the six years I went for my doctorate too.

not my photo…

My wife originally worked as a nurse in a major hospital, but to allow me to fulfill my higher calling, she’d had to, quit her job, and stay at home to look after our child, and every time when my son started howling in the nights, she’d not wanted to wake me from my dreams, and bit down hard, to make the bottles herself, burped, and changed my son’s diapers. We had our second son hten, and sometimes, she got so busy, that she’d not had the time to sit down for her meals until two, three hours after the meals.

As my sons went to bed, she still couldn’t find the spare time to rest, instead, she’d cooked, cleaned, sanitized the bottles, and cleaned up the house. And because we only had half of what we both made then, other than my formal job, I’d sought out teaching opportunities at the night department of a university, I’d burned on both ends in my studies and my work too, and I’d often gotten to fatigued that, I’d, fallen ill, and this made my wife, who’s already the super woman, in caring for our two young son, she’d still needed to, take care of me, the big baby!

If the hardships of a housewife is understood by the outside world, that, would be okay, but, a lot of those who don’t know the stories all believed, that she’d had it made, not needing to work and all, believed, that she couldn’t, hire someone else to help her out around the house. She’d gotten so very busy, she’d needed to have someone to babysit our sons, a nd, she couldn’t ask any of our relatives, friends, or families, and so, she can only ask for our neighbor’s help, or waited until I’m off work, and take a sick leave to come home from class, can she then, make it out to handle whatever distressing matter she had on her plate. Behind this “husband becoming outstanding”, who else, can know and understand, the hardship of the woman behind him?

Behind every successful man, there is definitely, a great woman, if without my wife’s sacrifice, I’m sure, that I wouldn’t have completed my doctoral degree, and, maybe this is not some huge achievements, but, I’d finally gotten to, live out my dreams. Thanks to my colleagues posting, reminding me to not forget to tell my lovely wife, “Thanks, for having my back, honey!”

So, this just shows how much the outside world knows: diddily SQUAT! And yet, we often judge people based off of what we perceive, which is usually just on the surfaces of things, without realizing, that maybe, behind that rich life of someone else’s, there are, many hardships that the rest of us don’t know, or don’t see, and, without his wife’s support, this man could’ve never finished his graduate degree. So, it si correct, that behind every successful man, there’s a supportive woman, or, a woman rolling her eyes to the back of her head………


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