A Happy Birthday Wish that’s Never Sent

How the love had, ended, and why it’d not worked out, translated…

Hi my first love, how are you? Do you still recall the year when we were eighteen, how we’d met at camp? Actually, you’d not been very active after the activities were, over, but I’d become so infatuated with you, you’d, popped into my mind all the time, and I’d, firmly believed, that so long as I’m willing to give, then one day, you will discover that you loved me too.

And so, I’d started this, long wait; wait for you to come online, wait for you, to accompany me, to talk to me, to ask me out for a meal, for you to get out of the service, for you, to write me back, waiting for you to have the spare time, waiting for you to finish busying from work…………every time as I was, ready to give up, you’d appeared again. And, just like that, I was, trapped between, expectation and disappointment, again, again, and again.

not my photo…

Finally, in the cold winter nights, you’d, held me tight, said that you wanted to accompany on this journey called life. Back then, I was so moved I’d, cried, believed, that the heavens finally, blessed me; and still, this bliss was, too short lived, you’d, let go, told me you just wanted to, continue, being friends.

You’d told me several times, that it’s a good thing that we were, just friends, but after so much battling with myself, I’d decided, to become strangers with you. It’s not that I don’t want to see you again, it’s because I loved you too much, feared, that seeing you will, get me trapped once again. You know what, so many times, I’d, abandoned myself, for your sake, just this time, I wanted to, keep my self intact.

The days we shared had produced, many good memories, and I do believe, that those better days, were real, it’s just, that it took me around in a huge circle to realize, that I’d fallen in love, with this image of you in my mind; or maybe, I loved how I can, put up with the loneliness that I’d felt, and just, accompanied you close by.

Friends asked me, that did I have any regrets, having spent so much time on you? I’d imagined that if I could go back to the past, I’d really wanted to, remind myself. But, maybe, because of how I loved you, waited on you, been hurt by you, all of those had made me into who I am today, and I’d gained an in depth understanding of how much courage it took, for me to finally let go, and finally love again. Thank you, for letting me understand, that you don’t necessarily need to meet the right person, to have a fulfilled life, that instead, I should, learn to live well on my own first.

not my picture…

Summer, was the season when we were both born, it’s also the season when we’d met up, and I’m really sorry, that from this year forward, I can’t, help you celebrate your birthday anymore.

So this, is considered a Dear John, as the woman figured out, that she’s the only one who’s putting into the relationship, and the man is just taking everything, leaving her with nothing, and so, she’d finally decided, to let him go, to set him loose, and, it must’ve been difficult for her to, as she’d put in so much heart into this love she’d felt toward this man.


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