An Undetonated Bomb at My Boyfriend’s House

A Q&A, translated…

Q: My Eldest Sister-in-Law-to-Be Got Pregnant Out of Wedlock, it’d Made Me Hesitate about My Own Marriage Too…

Ms. R at age thirty-one, had set up a wedding banquet next month with her thirty-five year-old boyfriend whom she’d dated for six years already; her boyfriend who works as a higher exec in the office has only a few members in his family, his parents and an older sister by two years the parents lived off of their retirement funds of just $20,000N.T.s, without mortgage, is a normal family. The only problem is, his older sister.

you don’t know if or when it’s gonna B-L-O-W, kinda like this situation here…

A decade ago, R’s boyfriend’s father had an affair, ever since, his older sister hated his father so, four years ago, she’d left and moved to Taoyuan alone, and not long after she moved, she’d quitted her job and cut off contacts with the family, only talked to her mother who’d sent her money to help her live. This June, his older sister came back to her boyfriend’s household, with a pregnant belly, said that her boyfriend had an affair and she was planning on having this baby, and raising him up all on her own.

As R heard this news, she was, dumbfounded, this eldest sister-in-law to be of hers had been doing things based off of her desires, with absolutely NO consequences of the outcomes of what her behaviors might do, she’s already thirty-seven, and still needed her own mother’s long-term monetary support; from before it was just her, her mother could still handle it, but now, there’s a kid too, and her parents are getting older now, who knows how long they can help her out in life?

R discussed this matter with her boyfriend, feared that the burdens of raising this child will land on her and her boyfriend, but her boyfriend told her aloofly, “As a young brother, why would I need to bother myself about my older sister’s way of life?”, like it wasn’t even, related to him in any way, but, can he really, sever off these ties so completely?

not my cake toppers here…

Because of this, R had, postponed the wedding. And, her growing sense of insecurity, of unsettlement had, overcome the love she has for her boyfriend now, she’d become hesitant on whether or not she should marry him, but she’s already over thirty, how long should she postpone her wedding plans?

A My Advice:

His older sister will always be a problem that persists, but, the child can be raised by his older sister, and if she wanted to go back to school again, she can also apply for a student loan, as for the rest, it depends on how far R and her boyfriend are willing to go, to help her out.

R should settle down, think about the love she feels for her boyfriend, and ask, are we really in love to the point we want to marry one another? If the answer is yes, then, just shoulder it all, and give what you can to his family. Besides, this burden will not be theirs to carry, for years on end, and maybe, things will find a way to resolve themselves.

So, this woman is having second thoughts about marrying her boyfriend, and love wasn’t the issue here, but his family is. And, based off of what is written here, I can see why this bride-to-be is feeling a bit worried, because she didn’t want her boyfriend to carry everything on his own, or worse, having this burden shouldered by herself too, and, if you’re unwillingly to love the man’s family, and give them help from time to time like you would your own, then, you shouldn’t be marrying, but that’s just from my beliefs………


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