Back to the Day We Separated, the Words I Couldn’t Say

Do I hear, REGRET, creeping up??? Oh, HEY, what’s UP??? On everything leading UP to, and after the break-up, translated…

What I’d wanted to say to her, but, it’s, already, too late now.

During my university days, because of a common course, I’d gotten to know M, she attracted me with her openness, we’d worked on the reports together, gone to the national libraries for the books, and, gotten grilled, in front of the entire class, by that bad professor together, we’d, given one another the encouragements, to work harder. We’d gotten, closer and closer, started going to the movies together, talked with each other about the writers we’d liked, which books we loved, and found we had, similar interests, and slowly, we’d, taken one another’s hands, and, turned into lovers, from being comrades before.

And still, the longer we’d spent time together, the more days we’d shared, the differences we had grew and grew. And, no matter how alike two people are, there would still be enormous differences. Fighting, misunderstandings, silent treatments, they’re all, fair games, we’d started, attacking one another’s weaknesses, just like that awful professor who’d, hounded down on us, we’d, forced out the deepest, darkest parts of our personas.

not my photo…

After that huge argument on that very day, she’d said, “let’s just, break up!”. Fine, I’d left, M, who was, crying then, walked away, coldly. I wanted to, toss everything that’s happened to us behind me, to forget about her existence in my life completely, but I, never quite did.

Until I’d become, more mature, did I realize, just how immature I truly was, and understood that everybody is a separate entity, that the only way for love to work, is by accepting one another’s differences, and making the adjustments. But, it’s, too late now, just like the lines that finally split up, there was, NO chance that M and I, can ever get back what we once shared.

If I can return back to the day we broke up, I wanted to, slap myself across the face hard, turn around, run back to her, hug her, and tell M, “Thank you, for tolerating, for putting up with me, during this amazing time we’d come to share.” Even if, the end still came, the amazing memories will, accompany me, until the end of life.

not my photo still…

So, this, is the regrets of how you’d left it with someone you cared so much about, and yet, you can’t have that one back either, because love already broke, and, there’s NO chance you can ever, go back in time, and FIX up what went wrong back there!



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