Better Given to the Dogs than it Was, to You
Regrets building up, from the words I didn’t say, translated…
We lived in poverty growing up, it wasn’t until I was in the fourth grade, did we get our very first refrigerator. My authoritarian eldest brother told us, that after we have this fridge, we shouldn’t buy any ice creams from the shops, otherwise, we would get punished by him.
Toward my eldest brother’s threats, no matter how enticing the ice creams, the shaved ice are to us, we’d not dared even THINK about them. but one day, I was out to the stationery shop in the back alleys to get more pencils, I walked in on my younger sister, sucking on that yellow-colored egg-shaped icicle, I’d immediately threatened her, “ohh, you shouldn’t have that, I’m going tell the eldest!”, at the moment, my youngest sister was so scared, she’d begged me to not tell, and had told me that she was going to get me some ice as “hush money”.
not my photo…
And still, as I’d finished that ice bar, I’d immediately forgotten what my youngest sister told me. As my eldest brother walked into the house, I’d immediately tattled out on how my youngest sister had bought the egg-shaped popsicles. And, my eldest brother’s face changed colors, and picked up that bamboo stick, and started, beating on my youngest sister. My youngest sister cried endlessly, but, she’d never tattled on me too.
After my mother learned about the whole thing, she’d told me, “rather than giving it to you, it would suit her best, to give it to the dogs instead.” Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! My mother was right, after all.
Back then, as I saw how badly my youngest sister was physically disciplined by my eldest brother, I’d lost the courage to apologize to her, and, so many years had passed by, as I’d brought it up to my youngest sister, she’d told me she’d forgotten about that already. And, my apologies became, meaningless, and it’d become, this regret that kept staying around on my mind.
So, you shouldn’t have tattled on her, but you had, and now, you still carry that guilty conscience for tattling out your youngest sister, and, your mother was right, it’d served your youngest sister better, if she’d given the popsicle to the dog, and now, you’re still, gnaw by what happened.