I’d Finally Fulfilled My Promise to You

Regrets of not doing this sooner, translated…

My mother only had a son, me, and so, naturally, she’d loved me a lot. Because she’d gotten divorced from my father, she’d placed ALL her dreams onto me, consoled herself, “My husband doesn’t love me, at least I still have my son.”

But unfortunately, I work away, and only on the holidays, would I be able to make the time to head home to visit, and, having me around her became a distant wish. And, every time I’d gone back home to visit, my mother would hint at her deep down desires of me living close by, “Mrs. Chung’s son found a job nearby, why must you work up in the north? Come back home! With your skills, you don’t need to be afraid not being able to find a job.”, and, looking at her pleading eyes, I’d wanted to tell her, okay I will. And still, how difficult it would be, to find a fitting job? Plus, I already have family and expenses, we’d needed money on everything, and I can’t just, quit my job as I see fit. And so, even though I’d carried the thought of finding a job closer to home, I’d not dared tell my mother about it.

not my photo…

I’d thought, that there are still a lot of time, that I can search for that fitting job slowly, that one day, I will get to move back home, and work there. But, heavens don’t work that way, before I was able to find that fitting job and move back home, my mother died, and, it’d hit me hard, the values of “the longer you lived, the more distant you and your children became physically.”

Shortly after my mother passed away, I’d, quit my job, went back home, and found another job, and now, as I’m about to retire with a full pension. I’d looked backwards, if I could, make that promise to her sooner, maybe, I wouldn’t have carried this regret for so long. You can’t get what you’d missed back again, and so, I can only say a silent prayer to mom, “I’d fulfilled my promises to you now!”

something you will NEVER have now, not my photo…

So, this, is all about regrets, because you thought you had a lot of time, without knowing, that time’s running out, and it wasn’t until your mother passed away, did you realize, that you should’ve gone back and lived closer to her, and now, that regret had, driven you, to find a job closer to where your mother lived, and, now, you’re about to retire, but, that regret of NOT keeping your promises to your mother still gnaws at you…

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