The growth of a woman, healing herself from her broken hearts, translated…
I’d called out to her. She’d shifted her gaze lower, saw me, sitting, on the bench. With her mouth opened, not moving any muscle in her body, she’d unconsciously, moved her self towards me.
“I was just thinking about you a minute ago, and there, you are”.
She’d still opened up her mouth, and, I’d placed the straw inside the drink, into her mouth, then, she’d, come back, a little. She said, that just four days ago, she’d, ended a pretty long relationship, then, from the day she’d split up with him, every single day, she’d, bumped into, at least, three friends she hadn’t seen in quite a while.
not my comic…
“God is still looking down on you,” I’d told her.
“Because he’d saved the best for himself, so, I’m sure, that God will also, save the best for me too,” she’d stated.
It’s quite odd, to be able to say something like that, just a few days after she broke up with someone, besides, that lost love, was with someone who was, mildly well-known in the acting industry, just like her, a love affair, that everybody was aware of.
I’d known G since middle school, and, I’d passed through her very first lost love with her, and although, we’d stopped interacting regularly now, I’d still see how she’s doing using FB now, and, based off of what I’d known about her, I can imagine how she would be, melting down, after losing a relationship. But, before me, she’d seemed, too calm, that it’d, caused me to worry.
“I thought I would die”, she’d told me.
“We don’t die that easily.”, I’d stated, in a very relaxed manner, but, I’d, gazed, deeply, into her eyes.
“How should I say it, it’s like my heart and body had been, separated. My body still felt the symptoms of sorrows, I can’t sleep, can’t eat, my bodily functions aren’t normal, but, my heart seemed to have, displaced itself, just, stood close by, and watched my body experienced all of these things.”
not my art…
“Your heart’s protecting you. After all, the body will eventually heal, but, if the heart is damaged, than, you’d be, in big trouble!”
“I think, this is the results from the years of training as an actress!”
I’d nodded, it’s, imagined. A sensual body, with a heart, that’s put its defenses up.
“But, it’s, more normal, to feel the loss”, I’d told her.
Had you ever seen the Japanese animated feature, “Millennium Actress”? It’s about a girl, chasing the promises of a stranger her whole life, and in the very end, they’d not even, met up.”
“A very pure story of love, but, not the least bit realistic.”
“The very last line in the animated feature, the girl said, ‘maybe, what I’d loved, is the me who’d chased after you in the process of trying to find you’”.
I’d become, stunned, a little while after hearing her out, felt my eyes turned hot, I’d held her gently.
“These past few years, you really are, living it.”
“I think, being able to love someone so full-heartedly, with no deception, NO calculations, just, living in a pure kind of love, it’s truly, very difficult, isn’t it? I’m blessed, to be able to, experience it all. I was even able to, redefine my own relationship with this world through this experience.”, she’d carried that really casual tone as she’d told me this, without any feelings of pity toward herself, instead, it’s, as if, she’s, advising me on life.
“So, it’s, very admirable.”
not my art…
And, the originally sorrowful sentiment I’d felt for her, all of a sudden, changed into a sort envy now. I’d hugged her again, she’d smiled lightly, we’d, watched the kids playing in the park, she’d smiled lightly, then, we’d stopped talking, for a long while.
I’d known G for almost twenty years, she’d been broken many times before in love, but now, the woman standing next to me, is this, mature, complete, version of her. I’m thinking, that she’d finally, realized how to love herself, in the process, of loving someone else. And I know, that she wouldn’t become, stagnant, like all the previous times before, after the love is gone, she’d, stopped, moving forward with her own life, and this time, she’d, kept marching on without looking back, being as good as she is, will finally, meet up with the best man that fate had set up for her to meet one day.
So, this, is the process of a woman, going from establishing the love she’d longed for from without (dating her boyfriends, getting her heart broken by each and every one of them, getting bruised and scarred by love???), to finally realizing, that she does NOT need anybody to complete her, to make her feel loved, because she’s found her self, through the experiences of lost love, she’d focused on herself, and now, she will be more than ready, to find that right guy for her!