I’d worked with I several times on plays, recently, we’d done a trust exercise at rehearsal. She was assigned to the bottom of the stage, and needed to walk with a blindfold on, as her teammates, we’d needed to let her know, when she’s, about to fall off the edge.
She’d taken a few small steps at first, then, walked slower, and, before she was halfway across, she’d, stopped. We’d waited for a bit, and, told her, to move forward; for the last half of the way, she’d only moved after we’d told her to. In the end, there were, about four more steps to the edge, and she’d, completely, stopped, and no matter how we’d coaxed with her, she just, refused, to move anymore.
“So, you can’t, trust us”, after the exercises ended, I’d complained. “I’m just, so afraid, of falling off the stage”, she’d hung her head low.
Actually, I felt heartache for her. I knew she’d weathered through more than one betrayal so far in her life, from love to friendships. She’d told me, that it would be, next to impossible, for her, to trust again, she’d not like meeting new friends, and avoided herself from falling in love. And, if using the life forces in video games, she probable had about, twenty-percent of her life source left, that can only sustain her most basic of all normal functions.
“Not bad, at least, there’s still those twenty-percent”, I’d said.
“If I have no, then, I’d become, a puddle of mud, nothing more.”
“You are what’s called a ‘faith leftover’, homophonous with ‘survivor’.”
“I do, feel like I’d survived, by luck.” I looked kind of foolish, really like someone who’s running dry on her blood supply in her system. I’d asked her, that as she’d walked regularly, would she not know how to pass someone who’s walking up to past her? For instance, as she walked toward the right, the other person would walk toward the left, but, as she’d walked to the left, the person walked toward the right again. Usually, when I’m, confronted with this situation, I’d, stand in the middle, and just, allow the other person to go first. I told me, that she had this sort of issues as well.
“This, should be a normal thing. How, do we, select the side we’re supposed to tilt toward with someone we don’t know that is, walking towards us?”, I’d stated.
“I’d often become, stuck in the middle of my walks, feeling, quite surprised, at how everybody else can manage to pass each other by so smoothly,” she’d told me.
We’d both, fallen, into that thoughtfulness now.
As that conversation began and ended abruptly, I’d felt, that it was, the start, of our newly formed, friendship. Some words that are, filled with hope, need to be stated, by someone like you, who shared similar amounts of hope inside. Some of the words of anger, you’d needed to, tell those who’d hurt you when they’d hurt you. We’re, cut from the same cloth, that’s, so very true, so long as, we don’t, bask together, in our co-owned miseries.
After the skit was over, in the chaos of the after party, she’d gotten drunk, and stumbled to my side.
“I kept meaning to ask you, what’s the good side of being the ‘faith survivor’, that you’d told me about?”
“There’s actually nothing good about it, just that we can, sense others who are similar to us is all.”
“What’s that mean?”
“When you’d bumped into a ton of people who made you lose faith, you’d run into people who’d still have some faith in humans left, those, survivors.”
“Why are you, repeating what I’d just said?”
“I’m very surprised!”
Every time she’d repeated what I’d just said, it’s like she was, highlighting my notes.
“So, being a survivor, those of us who still has the least bit of faith that remained, we’d gotten that sort of an attractiveness, giving off those, subtle electric signals, waiting for others who are, like us too to show.”
“No wonder I’d, trusted you so much.”
“Yup, as we’d played that game to show faith, I’d had to, put a stop to where you’re going, it’s like, you would, keep on going forward, until you’d heard my voice call out to you!”
“Because you’re there.”
She’d slapped me on the back, and, it’d almost, tipped over the drink in my hand. Even if we only have the littlest faith left, so what, with this little bit of faith left, we can, construct, a brand new friendship for ourselves with someone else in the world.
So, this, is how a little faith, goes a long way, the woman went from not being able to trust anybody, including herself, to slowly, learning to trust this friend of hers, as well as her self too, without realizing, and, that just shows, how fragile faith and trust is, so easily broken, and not at all, easy, to establish.