Home, is a Place for Feelings

On filial relations, translated…

My manager was on the phones, flustered, as she’d hung up, I was busying my about the happenings at the office, and, my mother called, I’d picked up the phone, and she’d told me of a really bad news, and, discussed with me how to handle the aftermath of it. In the process, I’d gotten, louder, and louder, I thought I was reasoning with her, but, my mother felt taken, kept explaining herself. I was getting agitated, and my voice raised without me being aware, I’d hung up the phones in complete anger almost, then, continued handling the business at the office. Until I’d finished what I had needed to complete from work, sent out the e-mail, was I able to, feel, more relaxed, I’d, walked into the kitchen, readied myself to make the supper.

As I was washing up the vegetables, my daughter walked out of her bedroom to get some water, asked me, “Mom, you’re angry?” “Was I?”, I don’t think I was getting angry. “Surely you were, back when you were talking to grandma.” “Oh, I wasn’t angry, I was, reasoning with your grandmother!”

not my art…

“But………”, she’d, hesitated awhile, observed and made sure that I wasn’t, worked up, swallowed down a gulp of water, then said, “But, you’d, told me, that home is not a place for reason, it’s a place for feeling. You were so mean, grandma must feel awful you need to call her back to say you’re sorry, otherwise, grandma would be so upset that she couldn’t sleep.”, afterwards, she’d, slipped back into her bedroom again, leaving me, thinking about the conversation that just happened.

Words are like arrows, once shot out, you can’t take them back, and, the words I thought was reasonable to me, did, in fact, hurt my mother’s feelings. My mother is almost eighty, her life was reduced to just her and a nurse’s aide, the outside world had long become, irrelevant to her. Everything that’s happened in our lives, our, she’d always had difficulties comprehending. It’d been whatever she’d told me to do, and I’d, done it, and when I couldn’t do it, I’d, told her in a round and about way, that I couldn’t, complete what she’d told me to do. Surely, as I was, communicating with my mother, my brain was, in knots, trying to reason with her.

It’s just, when my mother got angry, she’d become a kid throwing a temper tantrum, would definitely NOT take my calls, and, it seemed, that before any sort of an apologies were to happen, I’d needed my daughter to act as a middleman.

not my photograph…

So, you CAN understand why this woman had reacted toward her mother this way, right? She just got off the phones with someone from work, and had a disagreement of sorts, I’m supposing, and, right afterwards, her mother called, to share with her something awful that’s happened to someone she knew, and, the woman thought that her mother was teaching her how to correctly handle what went on between her manager and her, and that, was why she’d become, impatient, and naturally, the mother was upset, because she just wanted to share something and get it off her chest, but, because this is family, you need to find a way to apologize using more skills, whereas if you’re dealing with someone outside, you can just, go up to the person and just say “I’m sorry”…

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