So What I’m Heavyset

Being chubby, translated…

Rather than saying, that heavy people are optimistic, it’s more like we knew the truths about ourselves, knowing we couldn’t, change ourselves, so, we’d become, optimistic, from the upsetting views of us being fat, and learned, to make fun of ourselves, entertaining others, as well as, ourselves too.

Recalling how when I was younger, I thought I was, blessed, and would, drink the soft drinks like they were, water, and, as the readings on the machines increased, I’d, waken up early in the morn for a jog, and, walked around some after work, and, soaked up in the pools on the weekends, and, about a week, no need, to give myself too hard a time, the readings would, return back to its original place.

not my photograph…

Don’t know when (perhaps it was after I reached thirty-five), I’d had some food for my wellbeing in the winters, and, the fats accumulated on me, and, I’d, stopped, feeling cold in the winter seasons. I’d added about ten pounds a year, and, the weights, accumulated, year, after year, after year. Until New Year’s, I’d realized, that I’d grown sideways, and not in length, and so, I’d needed to, get new wardrobe by the year. As everything went off, no matter how hard I’d worked, I couldn’t, reduce my fat; even if I’d stopped eating and drinking, I still, can’t change that steady marker on the scales, like, even if I’d just, breathed, I’d, gained weight too. At first, I’d blamed my fate, or even, started doubting, there may be something up with my systems, and, when I’d felt defeated, I’d rationalized my weight problems too, and, it’d, made me feel much, much, MUCH relieved too. And although, I’d become, a XXL, but, I’m still, NOT the heaviest person around, and so, I’d, accepted myself as is. As for sweating it all out in exercises and the practical dieting, well, I’m, putting that off a bit! After all, I needed to, devise a long-term working plan for this diet to work.

But, come to think of it, being heavy has its benefits, especially our skins are very pretty, with that glow, made us look younger than we actually are, there are, rarely, any lines on our faces, the only trouble being, those kindhearted, helpful unknown people who’d helped make a bigger parking space, carried out the heavier sets of groceries for me, and even, the kind concerns, “Don’t run. And, how far along are you?”, and there’s, the straight-up talks from the counter clerk, “Ma’am, you won’t fit in ANY of these clothes!” ouch! How would YOU know, that I’m not, shopping for someone I know? Ahhhhhhh, but, having a relaxed mind, makes one heavy, I’d, forgotten about all the insults, instantly, not letting it affect my moods.

And what I can’t let go of, is how I’d ridden the bus every single day, and each and every time I got on, someone ALWAYS lets up her/his seats to me. I’m not elderly, a pregnant woman, handicapped or whatever, I’m just, wearing loosely fitted clothes, I’d wanted to tell you all, “I’m NOT pregnant, just fat, a bit, obese!”

and here’s someone who’s comfortable with the way she is, photo from online…

So, this takes a lot of courage, to finally, look beyond what EVERYBODY’s saying about your WEIGHT, to NOT care what the “norms” of beauty today is about, staying TRUE to one’s own beliefs, and this, is what this woman was doing, and, life will get harder, because there will always BE misunderstandings about her weight, and that, is something she needed to battle with from day to day, until one day, if and when she’d decided to change her lifestyle…

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