How, Have You Been

Slowly, find the closure he’d, needed, from losing his beloved girlfriend, translated…

Recently, because the girlfriend of a friend died suddenly in a car crash, he’d become, too deeply impacted by her death. As he was there for her funeral, he’d become, like a zombie, it seemed, that his soul left with his girlfriend too, especially as he watched his girlfriend’s coffin get sent into the crematorium, being stubborn and strong as he, he finally couldn’t, help it, but start to cry, but he’d still, muffled up the cries, not made a single sob aloud.

I’d carried his girlfriend’s things to the place they lived in together, I saw him dumbfounded by the doorway, not moving at all. I glanced over his shoulders, and saw the traces of their lives together—the bed wasn’t made, the pillow showed signs of being slept on, the documents and pens scattered across the desks, and, the stains were on the coffee mug on the table, and, the clothes were hung all over the chair, and, his girlfriend’s laptop was turned on, playing the song “How, have you been” by Eric Chou.

not my photo…

“She’d always enjoyed lying limp on that chair to read, and as she’d read, she’d, fallen asleep. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, I’d, forgotten to rinse out the mug, if she’d learned about it, she’d, certainly, complained to me about my bad habits again………”, he’d mumbled to himself. From his words, I was able to, put together the pieces of the life they’d come to share, but, hearing his tone, it’d made this scene that I’d created in my mind, seemed, broken up to pieces. I’d not rushed him, just, allowed him to stand there, dumbfounded by the doorway, and, the voices from the computer came, “Don’t teach me with your leaving, the people whom you’d lost are the most important………”, he’d trembled a bit, and his tears, started, rolling down from his cheeks, he’d picked up his girlfriend’s clothes, with his unsteady hands, placed it close to his nose, then, started wailing aloud. That, was the most desperate, most heart-wrenching cry I’d ever heard, with each and every sound, impacting the heart hard. He’d asked himself, why he’d not, cherished her more, said there were, too many, unfinished dreams, not-yet-fulfilled promises between them. I knew, that no amount of consoling would do any good, so, I’d, allowed him, to cry, to mourn, as I sat close by, and listened to him quietly. It was late, and, finally, he’d, fallen asleep from the fatigues of his own crying, the ivy by the bed seemed to not been watered a long time, the vines became, lifeless, with the leaves, withering away one by one.

A few days later, he’d become, better, and still, stayed at the suite they’d shared together, the laptop was still, on, kept playing that same song, over, and over. He’d made a cup of coffee for me, sat opposite of me. He said that after he woke from his sleep that day, he’d reread their conversation from that day on LINE, and all of a sudden, how they’d discussed losing each other, back then, she’d replied, “I think, I wouldn’t, have any regrets, after all, I’d, cherished those around me so, like they’re going to, depart from me at any time. If one day I’m gone, don’t you cry, like how you wouldn’t, want me to, cry over you.” He’d inhaled and exhaled deeply. “Yes! How come, we must, lose, before we learned, to cherish what we once held so dear. I thought, that people just, don’t die easily why is life, so fragile?”

The ivy by the headboards were, watered, and, they’d become, greener now. There was, also, an extra photograph, of them together, how radiantly they’d smiled on in it. The sun passed through the windows, and illuminated the picture, he’d gazed at the photo with this gentleness in his eyes, said to the song playing on the laptop: how, have you been?

not my photo…

So, this man finally, started, getting over the death of his beloved girlfriend, and, loss is always hard to handle, and, right when you lose someone, those things you should’ve said or done would come flying back to hit you fast, and, you’d be, trapped in what-could’ve-been, and, you’d get, drawn, deeper, into the sorrows of losing someone whom you loved, but eventually, you realized, that you have to, get back up, move on, that just because someone you loved died, the world doesn’t stop turning!


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