Is it Worries, or, Pressures?

On filial relations, translated…

I’d just received a message from LINE from my mother, there was nothing but overflowing love between the words, but, instead, I’d, felt, quite burdened by it; because the contents told, how she’d gotten my fortunes read again, said that based off of my charts, I wasn’t, fitting, for marriage, that I wouldn’t have a strong enough affinity with my husband OR my own young. What’s ironic was, I’d been, married for TWO years now, and we have a son together, and yet, my mother still constantly, tried, persuading me to get a divorce, otherwise, I will have to live with the life of my husband falling in love with someone young when we’re both older, and, kicked me, who’d given him a son, to the curb in an instant, that by then, I too, would be, very old, and, it would surely be, very hard, for me, to find another like it would be for me, to find someone new right now.

My mother had her shares of the trials in her own marriage, and wouldn’t want her kids to follow in her footsteps, that, was why she’d consoled us hard, to find husbands who are rich and kind to us. But, my younger sister found a regular nine-to-five office worker for herself, without a car, OR a property, and, earns a little over $30,000N.T. per month, and my brother-in-law couldn’t afford to let my younger sister just stay at home and be taken care of; having a dual master, I fared even worse, I’d married a man who owned his own business without a graduate degree, and, his incomes would rise and fall, according to the seasons.

My mother-in-law felt that we both could’ve done a whole lot better as the time passes, and, this was so far from her expectations of her sons-in-law as medical doctors or C.E.O.s of some company, and, even IF both her sons-in-law treated her with kindness, love, and courtesy, she’d still found faults with them. Even IF my husband failed to carry my bag for me, or that he’d not pushed the ordered food to before me, my mother would nag, endlessly on such smaller matters, commented on how much he’d changed from before we wed, that, I will have my share of the trials to come afterwards.

And, no matter how sturdy the rock, it won’t withstand the penetrations of the constant drops of water, especially when the one who’s making these bad comments about our spouses was the mother who’d raised us up. My younger sister, who was married on the same day as I was, got divorced, one year after she was wed, on the surfaces, it was how she wasn’t getting along well with the in-laws, but, partially, it’s because any small fault of her husband’s, would get magnified by my mother, and, my younger sister who’s high on pride, hadn’t learned how to manage her own marriage, and, gone with what our mother dictated.

Without my younger sister, taxing my mother’s attentions, she’d started, focusing ALL her energies on me now, hearing how my mother cursed that I won’t end up well at old age, I’d felt conflicted too, even if I’d wanted to, communicate with her, the facts of things proved, that it would be, impossible, to change the belief of someone, especially one’s own, elderly mother.

As my married friends talked about their marriage, and they’d all told me, to NOT hold the husbands to such a high standards after the wedding, that we must, learn to, let the smaller things slide, but, I was, forced, to open my eyes very wide, to zoom in on my husband, to see if he’d acted too slow on things, even my mother had, entered into the “Watch Dog” programs, if this keeps going, I’m more than certain, that the tragedies of the previous generations, will surely, replay itself, on me too.

Yup, this, is the mother’s pressing her own life’s experiences onto her daughters, and, her ways had already caused ONE of her daughter’s to get divorced from HER husband, and, the husband of the narrator’s divorced sister didn’t even do ANYTHING that awful, and because the mother had held the expectations of how she’d wanted her sons-in-law to be lawyers, or doctors (or one of those higher-end professions???), and they weren’t, and that, was what drove this mother to NAG her daughters, and as a result, her nagging and stepping in her kids’ marriage had, caused ONE of her daughters to get a divorce, and the narrator, she’s afraid, that if her mother kept going like this, her own marriage would also be, ruined too!


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