An Imbalanced Family, on Filial Relations

It’s really truly sad, to live like this in one’s elderly years that’s for certain, translated…

A decade ago, after my maternal grandfather passed of illness, my maternal grandmother started living alone on her own. My eldest aunt gave my grandfather’s house, land, and car to my two uncles, even the house my maternal grandmother lives in right now, went to her eldest grandson, my eldest male cousin, and still, they’d never discussed the issues of taking care of, looking after my grandmother one bit. Several years passed, my youngest uncle died of an accident, my elderly grandmother thought, that my eldest uncle will get her to live with them, but, she’d never gotten the chance, for the kindness she thought she was due.

And now, my maternal grandmother is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, slightly psychotic, without MOST of her abilities to live on her own, and yet, my elders, they’d made up an assortment of reasons, to make my grandmother live all on her own. In order to keep my illiterate and my unmobilized maternal grandmother safe, my eldest aunt who’d worked away installed a surveillance camera at her place, which she can monitory using an app on her cell phone. I’d also, once, saw my grandmother’s eyes on my cell phone too, and, the moment I met her eyes, my heart started, wrenching in pain, because she looked so defeated, without any light in her eyes whatsoever.

Toward my grandmother, my aunts had constant disagreements with my uncle, and, the matter over the money, of caretaking, had caused the family to become, more and more estranged. I’d gone from my original feelings of anger and hurt, to now, I’m, totally, uninvolved and numbed, I saw, ALL the colors of the world in the way my maternal grandmother was being treated; I’d even secretly thought to myself, if my maternal grandmother died earlier, perhaps, she wouldn’t have LOST all her dignities where she is right now.

I still can’t understand, or condone the way my elders treated my maternal grandmother, or maybe, as an offspring, I shouldn’t, butt in that much, but, I feel, so helpless, of this case that I once bore witness to on the television news in my own life. I can only, hope for myself, that after I’m older, I must, take good care of my loved ones.

Imagine how helpless this “child” must feel, watching her grandmother being left alone by her adult counterparts? And, maybe, there is MORE to what had happened, or maybe, the children felt that their mother didn’t love them all equally, that, is why they’d mistreated her so, we really don’t know, but, one thing’s for sure: that NO elders should be MISTREATED like this, unless, they really DESERVED it, and by that I mean, if the elders had, abused AND neglected, even RAPED their own young, then, they GOT what’s coming to them, but, normally, NOBODY deserved to get mistreated like this, to be left alone, to be NOT cared for in one’s own elderly years.


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