We’d Lived Together without Sex for Thirty Years, Should I Divorce Her

A Q&A, translated…

Q: I Feared that My Wife Couldn’t Survive and So I Can’t Leave Her

Mr. X who studied abroad in the earlier years, after earning his degree and getting a job, in his thirties, returned to Taiwan, and married a woman twelve years his junior, they moved to the States to live together, but after they had three children, his wife refused to have sex with him, believed that sex served the sole purpose of procreation.

Other than that X was violently attacked by his wife eleven times. Once she’d threatened him with a knife, at another encounter, X picked up the phones to call the police, but the phone was broken by his wife, and X can only escape to a friend’s house.  X had asked his wife to see a doctor, but she’d told him she wasn’t sick, that he was the one with the problems.

And, just like that, X lived for thirty years celibately, and because his wife didn’t learn English, she couldn’t support herself by finding a job, and he couldn’t bear to leave her.  For the years, he’d found an outlet for his own pent-up emotions through the supports and exercising, but was diagnosed with depression and needed to be medicated.

During the nine years he’d been retired, X would return to Taiwan for a vacation of two, three months, wanting to find himself a suitable companion, but he was, never successful.  It’d depressed him so.  He wanted to know, if there are things he can do, to make himself happier?

A My Advice

X had been merciful and kind, and is still paying for his wife’s lifestyle with his own retirement pension.  He’d needed to pay over $2 million N.T.s every year for his properties, cars, travels, and insurances too.

But, since they are still married, there’s the risk of getting caught cheating, and this makes it harder, to find a better companion.  Actually, with X’s finances, he could give HALF his assets to his estranged wife, as alimony; the two of them won’t be related in any way anymore.  She could have money to live off of, and you can then, start dating.

X should consult an attorney, or through making a negotiation with his own wife, to resolve this, give his wife a lump sum of alimony, and make sure she couldn’t track him down after they’re divorced, live your separate lives!

So, this, is the dilemma that a man was facing, he’s stuck, in a loveless marriage, with his wife, controlling EVERYTHING in his life, and surely, he’d felt, suffocated, and wanted out, but, he’s just, worrying too much about her, to the point, that he’d, let his own needs slide.

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