On the growth of a woman here, translated…
I’d received a postcard from a good friend, she’d mentioned how well I’d played the role of mother, it’d made me recalled the struggles I’d had, along with the mindset I’d carried, in these struggles. There’s no way I can compare to see, if I’d played the role well or not, but, for the struggles, the conflicts I’d felt, being a mom, it’d become, ordinary.
There’s no turning back being a mom.
It’s like a huge wave, urging me on, and all we can do, is to swim forward on, looking toward that distant island, and imagine how we’re finally able to breathe after we’d, reached it. If we’d turned our heads back, then, in an instant, we’d be swallowed whole by enormous regrets, that sense of helplessness. And the only option we have, is to, trudge onward.
Like how the caterpillar broke out of the cocoon, and start flying around as a butterfly, that, is very similar to a woman’s coming of age. After going through the morning sickness, discomfort, being immobilized, to bleeding, going through the water being broke, labor, after all of these trying moments, we’d finally, changed from girls into women after we’d welcomed a new life, and started on this life, of never turning back again.
All of which I’d used to enjoy, exercising, traveling, even just heading outdoors for a short walk, became luxuries that I can’t get as a mom. And, we can only get our alone time on those short jogs out, or alone time on our own, stealing what time we can, for ourselves. And, we’d felt, unimaginably satisfied, if we can, squeeze in that exercise time we’d done regularly from before.
Couldn’t manage both childrearing and our work, whether it be going to and from work, overtime, for the sake of that promotion, or at home, looking after our own young, we always experience the struggles. If we want to spend more time with the children, then, we’d have to give up on promoting our own abilities, enjoying the life with our newborn children, giving up the luxuries of making more money. Even as our husbands make a lot of money, nobody likes to ask for money, money, time, freedom, accompanying the young, are always constantly rearranging the orders of our lives.
Surely, we’d all, done our best! There’s no perfection, no absolute right or wrong. Then, we’d, lifted our heads to see, our children growing up by the day, and, tell ourselves, that it’d been, more than worth it.
Nobody ever told us, that what being a mom is all about, from the wedding when everybody smiled and wished us to have children soon, there’s NO traces to follow, and afterwards, we’d felt that sweetened burdens.
not my photo…
This is, a journey of giving up on things, and restarting up again. In the tiredness, we’d become, numb, in the reordering, we’d found that new hope. Slowly, we rid ourselves of the past, then, in the new life, slowly, recalling how we once were as children. Yes, it’s, like rebirths for us.
After we were reborn, there’s, that need, to move onward, that need, to be stronger. Here’s a toast, for all the mothers out there, we are, good enough, really!
So, this, is the ups and downs of becoming a mother, there are so many things you’re unsure of, worrying about your children’s wellbeing, and, you are always uptight, because you worried, that if you relaxed, something awful will happen to your children, but, you just need to, relax, and life run its course, because fate has everything worked out, and you just hadn’t figured that out yet!