On the steps we’re taking, toward our separate dreams, translated…
Recently as we’d rehearsed, R was often absent, thankfully, it’s NOT the main shows, so we are not under that much stress. But, as the dates get closer, we must all show up, so, every time R shows up, we’d always start the conversation like this.
“Did you get any sleep today?”
“I’d just waken up and came here, I’d slept in the auditorium for about an hour”, she’d told me.
“When are you due back there?”, I never get tired of asking.
“After this is over, I’d needed to go back, I’d not lived at home for three days,” she sounded hoarse.
“But, you look okay,” I’d handed her a cup of coffee.
“Either that this, is the wellness of the moment before death, or that I’d, powdered my face heavier and heavier.”
She downed the cup of coffee in one gulp. I looked over at the clock, it was already nine in the evening. I wouldn’t ask her if she can’t sleep, because, she couldn’t, afford to, sleep.
R told me, that two, three years back, the primetime soaps had requested for her, and for some reasons, she’d always turned them down. Because those soaps seemed to have no end, and once she got into them, if she is lucky, there may be hundreds of episodes, and, she’d be tied down for one, to two years at a time, and it’s best, that she doesn’t, gamble on this sort of thing. This was the very first time she’d said yes because she knew well, that in two months, the show will be done for certain. Being able to see the finishing lines, it’d made her willing, to embark on the journey. This was the very first time, and she’s unsure, if the next time someone asks her to portray a role, she would be willing to do it.
“So, did you, think about it for a very long time?”
“I just felt, that as an actress, I still have NO choice, but to take what comes my way, I’d still needed to be called up by someone. I don’t have that sort of being able to choose, so I’d needed to work even harder, to gain my own right to speak, and can make my own choices. And, I’m still young now, I can make more money on one hand, and on the other, I’m more willing, to try new things.”
“A lot of people are like that, and ended up, ruining their health.”, I’d felt bad for her.
“So, I’m really aware, that so long, as it only lasts for two months, my body will be able to withstand it. Ahhhhhhhhhh, when I get too strained, I’d pondered: is there anyway, we can, DESTROY this field for good? And, there was, no way. We are not unionized, without the guarantees, with the audience, we will get our ratings, and, if there’s a show available to me, and I’d turned it down, someone else will, gladly, take my spot.”, so, there’s, no solution to this.
Once I’d hitched a ride with R after a rehearsal, we’d told each other, that there are, things we wanted to accomplish, to do, away from performing. I said that having my own work performed on stage is such a huge achievement, she said she’d helped a friend of hers as a producer, and she’d understood what that felt like. “That was that sense of completeness, can stand on top of the whole production, and examine the scenes from up high, instead of acting and performing on stage, on a smaller scale.” We were on the same page, I loved creating, she loved producing, and, if the two of us worked together, then, one plus one naturally becomes, bigger than two.
As the rehearsals come to an end that day, I’d stuffed a pack of ginseng into her hands, said it was, to get her lost strengths back. I hope that she will get through these two months without any difficulties, because, my script is already waiting, for its producer.
So, this, is on the way, to achieving your ultimate goals, you needed to start somewhere, and, even though the jobs you’re working in isn’t anywhere NEAR where you want to be in a few years (your ultimate goals of being whatever???), you’d still worked hard, hoping, that the steps you’re taking right now, can add to your experiences, so when the time comes, your dreams will be easily grasp tight by you.