Estrangement of mother and daughter, but, not for long, because the woman realized this was happening, between her and her own mother, and she is, surely, to make the change, to improve the relationships, translated…
I’d not had a heart-to-heart with mom for many years now.
A few days ago, I took her on a trip to Kaohsiung, she’d started talking to a friend about me, said how in the middle school years, I was, so very, chatty, that I could, talk, for hours on end every day without any rest, and that even as I was in bed, my lips were still, moving. Mom was right, when I was a young child, I’d, circled around her all day long, and would write in my notes from school to not forget to tell her the stories or gossips.
Until one day, I’d all of a sudden, realized, that I had, stopped talking to her, because I felt she couldn’t understand, she wouldn’t understand what I was doing, she wouldn’t know a thing about what I cared about; more importantly, she could, no longer have the answers I’d needed, instead, she would talk down to me, because of her worries. And so, I’d, flipped off my inner “telling mom stories” switch, and used my own measures, to live the nest, and live on, independently on the outside.
I think, that our memories can’t be counted on, she’d forgotten how I’d, stopped sharing my life with her in these past couple of years, but recalled how we’d related to each other some twenty odd years ago. I’d heard my mother talking to her friends, I was so surprised, in her mind, I was still, that spoiled, not taking anybody else’s advice child of hers! Did she forget? Or, was it, her temporary loss of memories, that she’d, kept me, a young child inside her mind? Or maybe, she was, only, putting her best foot forward for the outside world to see?
Whichever may be, I’d become, suffocated, by my own guilt, all of these years, I’d felt she could no longer understand me, because, I’d, stopped talking to her. The times are like a huge flood, and, seeing how I have no idea of the era she grew up in, then, what right have I, to tell her to, get into this online world that’s taking over now? What’s sad was, mom couldn’t understand, because her life as a housewife, along with an assortment of “mommy affairs” took over her life, causing her focus to stay on the families, and she’d, lost track of herself, and I’d, acted, so cruel to her, saying, “Even if I tell it to you, mom, you couldn’t understand.”
Naturally, things had happened to my home, I’d not wanted to bring any troubles to them too, and, I’d never told any of my hardships I’d experienced them, I’d only told them of the happier moments, but kept the upsets all too myself; when trouble came, I’d found Google more useful than mom, and, after awhile, the gap started getting bigger between us.
On the eve of Mother’s Day, I saw an assortment of ads, and I wasn’t moved one bit, I just kept thinking, how much had I missed, over all these years? Do I still have the chance to make it up? I don’t want to buy the gifts, treat her out to fancy meals, to “settle” mom anymore, I’d wanted to, start talking to her again, to return back, to how we’d, once, interacted with each other…
So, don’t know when, but you had, stopped, telling everything to your mother, it’s, a process of growing up, as we grow, our significant others change from our parents to our friends, to our spouses (1 @ a time), etc., etc., etc., and, it’s, easy, to lose touch with the ones you loved, because we take them for granted, until it’s, usually, too late, but, gladly for this woman, she’d realized this, just in time, and now, she will surely, find ways, to reconnect with her mother again!