Having problems, being too comfortable, but knowing, that this, isn’t what a marriage looks like, a Q&A, translated…

Q: My Husband Didn’t Want a Divorce, and I’m Used to Having Him Around Too

Jen is close to forty, she’d been married for a little over a decade.  She worked in sales from before, she’d earned some money, but not as much as she thought she had; the reason being she’s very helpful, in order to climb the ladder fast, or to help make the bottom lines, she’d always loaned her money out, and never asked for the money she’d loaned out back.  Plus she’d enjoyed going out with her coworkers to dine, and she’d always, picked up the tabs.  In no more than three, four years’ time, she’d accumulated over two million dollars worth of credit card debts, and she’d stopped working, and just, dodged the collectors, in the end, it was her mother, and older siblings who’d, paid up the money for her; she’d sunk into sorrow for about six months, started back up again, worked as a makeup person in a wedding gown shop, that, was where she’d met her husband who is ten years senior, after falling in love for just one year, they’d, tied the knot.

Her husband’s work title was assistant, didn’t make nearly HALF of what she’d made, but Jen thought he was very even-tempered, they’d had a lot to talk about, so, she’d never taken any money from him.  She’d paid for the rent, the utilities in her home, and she was still able to put five, six thousand dollars into her savings.

the importance of love in a marriage…not my photo…

They’d never used contraception since they were married, but, six years after they were wed, they still hadn’t gotten pregnant, Jen wanted a baby, they’d gone to the fertilities clinic, and, the problem was on her husband.  To tell the truth, the health exams had, turned Jen’s view of her marriage upside down, thinking back, he wasn’t at all that motivated in work, didn’t like having sex at all, didn’t have enough energies either, and, this marriage, she seemed to be the only one, working hard, to make it work, her husband had this I could care less attitude.  Jen had had multiple heart-to-heart with him, and he doesn’t want a divorce, and suggested that they should sleep in separate rooms, and encouraged her to go out with her friends more, to live together separately.

But, close to age forty, Jen didn’t want to divorce, nor marry again, she didn’t want to, nor did she, have boyfriends, felt, that although there’s not that intimate connection between the family members with her husband, but she’d gotten used to it.  Would this sort of interactions in a marriage be too weird?

A My Advice

The two of you had been together for ten years, at least, you’re already, used to one another.  So long as the considerations of economics, the loans, and it wouldn’t bring either one of you down, you don’t need to care about what others on the outside thinks.  But, when you get to this stage, where the most basic “function” of a husband and a wife had, ceased to exist, divorce should be easier, why are you, still, holding on?

the binding of a marriage…not my photo

I know, because of convenience, and this woman, had settled, although her marriage can’t give her what she needed or wanted, but, she felt comfortable living in it, that, is why she’d lacked the motivations to change, and this is awful, because, NOBODY should settle in a marriage, whether or NOT they know they’re doing so or not…


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