How to get along better with each other, now that it’s just, the two of you that’s left? Translated…
My husband and I became like roommates, we’d, kept at our own separate televisions, and during mealtime, I’d, hollered out, “Tenant from upstairs, food is served!”, after the tenant finished his food, he’d headed upstairs, continued watching his basketball game. And, mealtime and sleep, are the two times of the day, the two parallels we’d become, intersected.
The rule of thumb I’m living by is, not forcing things onto myself, nor onto others. When we found ourselves in argument, I’d found a strategy, take action, not get angry, or waste ANY energies. If my husband angered me, then, I don’t cook, it’s not, as if, I’m up for the employee of the month, and, by so, I’m teaching him, that he’s the one who’d lost, offending me, only then, would he, adjust his own behaviors. He could easily, act stubbornly, wear a soured face, he’s the one getting laughed at, I wouldn’t start nagging him at all, I will NEVER find troubles for myself.
all you’re, left with, NOT my photo…
He’d said I’d talked too loud, but, that, is how large the volume my voice is, and now, whenever friends come, I’d told him, to “duck out”. If he was insistent on being around, then, I’d still carried on conversation with my friends, I’d already warned him beforehand, it was his own choice, to not head out if he didn’t want to hear me talk.
We all have our different traits, like someone with irritable bowel syndrome, would you, tell her/him, NOT go to the bathroom so many times? So, that stuffed up type A man, I’d, done as accordingly, I chose, to respect his “irritable bowel syndromes”.
I can, choose NOT to get angry toward the arguments we can’t escape from. For instance those old issues we’d never agreed on, no need to discuss them, or get stressed out by them. If toothpaste is a source of argument, then, get one tube each, so long as it’s not life-or-death matters, just let him be.
When I want to shop, I’d called on my girlfriends, when I want to see a movie, I’d find someone who’s also a movie fanatic like me, being accompanied by someone who makes you happy, that, is what’s most important; as for you, hubby, as long as you’d worked those nightshifts as the security guard, I’d be satisfied, why must you demand he take up other roles?
Try to break the stringent rules of your own cognitions, there are more options in life, as the thoughts changed, the problems find a way to resolve themselves. You need to tolerate each other’s differences, to not cross over that boundary, to find a comfortable interaction pattern that both of you can live with. War or peace, it’s up to you to choose!
you do your thing, I do mine! Not my photo…
So, this woman is sharing her years of experience, of being married to her husband, they are quite different, with various hobbies, and, as they got older, they started living like parallel lines, and, there’s nothing wrong with that, so long as the two of you respected the boundaries set by one another, not pushing each other’s buttons too hard, then, you will get along just fine, even AS the kids leave home!