A Flower for You

The interactions of the generations, still just as sweet, from what she’d, remembered from when her own son was a young child, translated…

Awhile ago, my daughter and her family came to Taichung, the very next morn, they saw the day is sunny and bright, my husband and I took along our two young grandchildren downstairs to the park to stroll.

The winter sun felt especially warm , the blue skies, the gentle breeze, the shadows of the trees, swaying, the intoxicating sun shone on my young grandson’s face, the a little over three eldest and the second who’d just turned two squatted on the lawn, get excited as they started picking up the pebbles and the fallen leaves. Suddenly, the eldest found a small purple flower that’s fallen, he’d found a treasure, had one in his hand, run toward me.

“Grandma, a flower for you.”, I’d taken it from his tiny hands, said, “Thank you so much!”, I’d stared at his naïve smiling face, and, the tears came to me. Because, there was, once, another cute little boy, who’d, brought me flowers.

like this???  Not my photo…

It was, from over twenty years ago, the same blue skies, on a similar warm winter, my five-year-old son and I had an errand to run, as we’d passed by that small community park, he’d, run off. I’d turned to look, he was, squatting by the laurel fig by the sidewalk, just as I’d wanted to go over and scold him, he’d gotten up, with a small yellow flower in his hand, grinning ear to ear, ran toward me, said, “Mom, a flower for you”.

And the days flew by, suddenly, my son is already all grown, and working in a foreign land, we rarely have the opportunity to see one another often, I can only keep my nostalgia to me; and now, another little boy, my dearly beloved, maternal grandson said, “Grandma, a flower for you”. This, is probably, what bliss is, I suppose!

查看來源圖片like this???  Photo from online…

So, the time has changed, so had you, and everything around you, but one thing is still there, the interactions of love with you and your families, and, although your son isn’t that little sweet boy anymore, there’s, another, just as sweet little boy, in his place, to share the moments of life with you, your grandson.


Squandering Away the Love We Once Shared…

We had been, squandering away the love we once shared, thinking, that we will, NEVER run short, but, it’d, run out on us now…

Squandering away the love we once shared, that wasn’t smart, I know it now, but, it’s, too little, too late for us, love’s, already done with you and me, we’d, hurt it too bad, damaged it, to BEYOND even God’s repair now, and so, it just, lay itself down, to D-I-E, while, we’d, cried hard, for it, not to leave us!!!

Squandering away the love we once shared, we shouldn’t have, but, we didn’t know any better, and, the price we’re paying, is having this love we once shared, DIE, before our eyes, and, no matter how hard we’d both cried, we still, don’t have the powers, to bring the DEAD to life, and, we’re, forever, at loss, over this love we’d, once had, but squandered away………

Squandering away the love we once shared, you’d think, that we should’ve, known better by now, but now, that lesson’s still, yet to be learned, the hard way, and, until we lose the love we once cared about so much, having it, YANKED away, out of our grasps, we will, NEVER learn how to appreciate it, and yet, by then, it would be, too late, to get it back again.




You’re a “Child” Too

Having your husband’s grandmother who’s demented move in with you, and, she’d, treated you, like you were, a very young child, translated…

Grandma, who’s ninety, who lives Yunlin on her own, is becoming more and more forgetful in recent years, she’d forgotten if she’d eaten already, forgot to turn off the porridge on the stove and went out to check the paddies, and kept asking that same question to the children and grandchildren who’d, paid her visits. At the start of the year, my father-in-law lifted his mother to Sanchong to live with them, to allow her to live out the remainder of her years up north.

a four generation family 的圖片結果the four generations all together now…photo from online…

As the children get off school, they’d, head over to my in-laws’ home to rest, and, grandma always needed to ask, “What grade are you in? Whose children are you?” every time she sees them. My children complained to me, why grandma can’t remember things. I’d told them, because great grandma’s been using her memories for a long time, it’d, gotten, old, and couldn’t have any more new information input in, so we need to introduce ourselves to her daily, so she can know us again.

One day, I sat by grandma for lunch, she’d asked again, who these three children belonged to? I’d looked around, at my two kids, said, “these two are mine, where’s the third child?” Grandma said, “you, of course! Whose child are you?”, I’d laughed and told her, ‘Me? I’m your eldest daughter-in-law!”

查看來源圖片like this???  Photo from online…

Every Wednesday is a half day for the elementary kids, my youngest sister-in-law’s sons would come over for their lunches after school. The three boys would get chatty and started discussing the video games, refused to eat their meals, not adding the foods from the plates, they’d, had their meals, served with the video games, not needed any of the foods we’d prepared, and, my mother-in-law often nagged them.

And recently, I’d felt the need, to lose some weight, I’d, stopped the intake of my starches by evening, I’d, carried my bowl, sat down next to grandma, she’d took a look, in my bowl, and used that tone of scolding, “Why eat so little? Are you sure you have enough to eat?”, after my son heard, he’d laughed aloud, “Mom, you’re a kid in great grandma’s eye, you’d gotten nagged at just like I do!”

So, this is, how the family coped with the elderly woman’s dementia, and, because the father-in-law of the woman was fulfilling his filial piety responsibilities to his own elderly mother, that, is why there are, so many interesting things that’s happened in the family, and, because the elderly is demented, that is why, she’d, constantly inquired, just to be certain of things, and, this had, caused a lot of fun and interesting moments in the lives of those who are living with the elderly woman, who are, taking care of her living.

What My Dear Wife Told Me When She Divorces Me

A visit to his sons’ nanny had roused up so many memories of shared conversations with his own wife, translated…

I rang the doorbell twice, the steel door from the first floor, slowly, opened up, like it’d, taken the orders from some unheard signals. I’d climbed up those, familiar steps, realized that don’t know when, the third floor residents had, changed their doors. Without having the time to breathe, or sigh on how my manopause had, finally hit me, I’d found, that Mumu was waiting by my fifth-floor home outside.

“Ah, I’d told you I’d come to your house, your wife told me it wasn’t, necessary, said that you could drop by after work……”, Mumu said.

I’d taken that back of salty glutinous balls, on the way home. Saw how Mumu had, made the meat-filled rice balls at the marketplaces, wrapped with a layer of newspaper, to keep the foods from getting wet, and put it all inside a red-white striped plastic bag so I can carry them home with ease. In the evening of the basin of Taipei, when the temperatures dropped to below ten, I’d felt, that warmth from my hometown down south.

Mumu, was the nanny of my two children. At the start, to find a nanny, my wife became like an octopus, and, used her three hearts, and searched for the passions of the nannies she’d interviewed; plus those three levels worth of neural control tracking system, to see which nannies had the licensures, with the mind for business, but without the hearts; then, used the suction plates to cross-compare the testimonies of everybody she contacted, in that era where Facebook was still in the making. Then, the final touch: chose a sunny afternoon, to pay the nannies an abrupt visit to see how they’d reacted.

Before I’d entered into the top three nannies of choices, I’d rung the doorbell, and started screaming at the top of my lungs, “Ahhhhhhhhhhh, I thought I just passed by, so can I come in and see you, about the child I need you to look after, yes, now, would it be, convenient for you? Thanks.” I’m not really sure, that if that was, from my wife’s French horn playing days as a teenager, that it’d, caused her breath to be, son long winded, or if it was from her being a mother.

“How would you know it’s her?”, I’d recalled asking the question. In the end, she’d found Mumu, who wasn’t even, licensed as a nanny, but who had what counted the most, to us, two ANAL parents, a heart that loves and cherishes a child. It’s, instinct, my wife’d, told me.

I’d carried the bag of handmade meat rice balls, on the way home. Suddenly, I’d recalled how when my sons were still quite young, as they were being nannied in Mumu’s home, don’t know what got into me, but I’d asked my wife, “If we get divorced later, and you and I can only take one child with us, who will you choose?”, that was like that brain-dead question of “who are you going to save, your girlfriend or your mother if they’re both, drowning?”

My dearest wife told me, that when she divorces me, she will choose to take our eldest. Don’t know why but she’d become, extremely, concentrating. “Why?”, back then, I’d asked the question with that serious manner, but later, I’d felt, that I was, being stupid. “The younger is healthier, he’ll do find with you as his caretaker. But the eldest is not as healthy, he has asthma, I could look after him better.”

On the evening of the Lamp Festivals, it was like Christmas came early, it’d, reminded me of how I need to count my blessings, and be grateful for what I’d been given in life.

And so, this is the man’s mind, and, it’s all hypothetical that this stupid question was blurted out by this man earlier, and, the wife’s thoughts were more considerate, and, visiting the nanny of his two children had reminded of how important the women in the writer’s life are, and surely, he would, appreciate them more!

Forget It, Just, Let It Go…

The sound of, letting go, in stanzas, a poem, translated, by me…


She’d, Forgotten Me, and I, Him Too

Suddenly, Inside This Space of Time, Some People, Some Things, are Just Gone

Like Getting Trapped in a Fog, without Knowing Why, Some Things, Some People Just, Went, Missing

breaking up 的圖片結果left behind…photo from online…

Forgotten the Processes, without the Struggles

Everything Settled, in its, Rightful Place Allowing Things to Flow as They’re Supposed to

Or Maybe, She, or He, Never Found a Place in My Mind, and so Naturally, I’d, Forgotten…

Let it Go

I’d, Let Him Go, and She’d, Set Me Free

in the Space of Time, Some People are, Locked Up in Frames

Like Being, Paralyzed in the Mud, Struggling, to Break Free but Couldn’t

People Breaking Up 的圖片結果parting ways now, but, still, lingering on…photo from online…

Some Things, Some People, we’re, Just Never, Meant to Forget

From Waiting for that Day to Finally, Let Go, it’d Been, Quite Trying

But After Getting Through it, You’d Felt, Relieved, and Free

Or Perhaps, She or He Had, Helped You, Grow

Helped You Gain Wisdom, and Her/His Mission was, Completed

Forgotten Let it Go

are the Two Locks We Have Inside of Us

Dissolved, Opened, the Heart Became, Freed

Forgetting and Letting Go

are Pit Stops in the Journeys of Our Lives

Station After Station, the Show of Leaving Those We Love Behind, Parting in Such Sweet Sorrow, a Tragic-Comedy

No Matter How Much You’d, Put in

Everything Will Eventually Be

Let Go, Forgotten

Lost, it’s, Over

So, that’s taken, long enough, isn’t it? For you, to finally, let go in your mind, and to not, think about that lost love again, because you had, grieved fully and properly, for what’s lost, parts of your self you’d, given to that particular person, and yeah, it hurt like hell, sure, but, you’d, grown up from losing that love, so, you’d, still, won out!

The Noises Beyond These Walls…

I don’t think it’s, the neighbors…or maybe, it’s, just my AUDITORY HALLUCINATION again???

The noises beyond these walls, I’d, been hearin’ ‘em, ever since, long, long, long, long ago (funny thing is, I just, moved in this past spring!!!). The noises beyond these walls, been hearin’ ‘em, since I was, growin’ up, thought I’d, left them all behind, but apparently, not!noises in my head 的圖片結果chaotic, just like this, perhaps???  Sketch from online…

The noises beyond these walls, when will I, finally, STOP hearing them? It’d gotten, so god DAMN loud I can’t sleep soundly through the nights of my adulthood years.

So, guess, I’ll, probably, need to trace back, to the origins of when those noises beyond these walls got started, huh? But, I can’t remember ever being little at all, it’s like, I’m suddenly, here, and, all my yesterdays, were, erased from my mind for some unknown reasons!

The noises beyond these walls, how can I, make them all stop? By, putting those, extra paddings on my own walls, to sound-proof everything? But what if, my house caught on fire, and, I can’t, break through those, walls, I’d, sound-proofed, or worse, what if, I needed help, and nobody hears me scream, through these, four walls???


A Dusty Reminder, of His Shiny Moments…

That championship trophy he’d won for his team became nothing more than a dusty reminder, of his shiny moments, and, now??? He’d gotten, that fat belly, from drinkin’ too much, and as a COUCH potato.

It’s hard to imagine, from the way he’d looked right now, that he was once, so hot, so handsome, so fit, but hey, we ALL had our moments, don’t we? A dusty reminder, of his shiny moments, that, is what his whole life’s been about, he’d, gone by his parents’ wishes, gone to state on a full sports scholarship, he would’ve gone pro too, had he not, sustained a serious injury, that took him OUT of the sports ring!

查看來源圖片like these, somewhere, stashed, in an unknown attic, tarnished…not my photo…

And, after that STAR had, lost its, shine, he’d become, less than mediocre, he only found work in that factory, slaving his life away, for less than minimum pay, with NO sure retirement pension either!

And yet, whenever he’d started at the trophy that was placed, at the mantle, it’s like, he’d gotten, turned back, into the KING of the world, and yup, in a sense, he is, a king, a king of his, double-wide!!!

A dusty reminder, of his shiny moments, that, is all that he has now, as he sat on that couch with the BUTT imprint, scratching himself, in unsightly places, with the T.V. blasting loud, to drown out the memories of all of those, could’ve been, should’ve been, and would’ve’s………