The Darkness Before the Dawn

Lessons that life has to offer to us, translated…

There are, many ways that the scriptwriting realm described the structures of stories, for instance, Campbell on “the Hero’s Journey”, or, Blake Schneider’s fifteen turns from his “Saving the Cats”—and yet, no matter the structure, before the storyline hits its, climax, there’s that moment of darkness, where the main character gets stuck, inside that “moment of darkness”, where s/he has nothing, and is tried.

I’d recalled that scary night, a few years ago after I’d left the advertising agency, I could no longer take it, I’d, picked up my things, and, NEVER set foot again, into that place I’d stayed for five whole years, returned back to my origins, started back in, the realms of filmmaking.

And now, I’d, described it like the gentle breeze that blew across my life, but back then, it’d, shocked up my whole world, because, what was before me, was the unknown.  And, the unknowns can make people fear, but, think on it in an alternative angle, the unknown is also, filled with, possibilities.  After that, I’d, started from ground zero, learned to write the scripts, and, filmed a few short films, got selected, into several film festivals, continued writing the scripts, and now, I’m, on my way, to filming my very first movie.

And now, the trials are about to, begin again………but this time, I’m not, as worried compared to from before, because, after the moments of darkness, the day shall, come.

And so, this, is what you’d learned, from life itself, you’d learned, that no matter how difficult it seemed, all you need to do, is to just keep working hard, and hang on tight, because, the dawn isn’t, too far off, and this can be applied to every thing in your lives.


The Train, to Urumchi, a Poem

The sights out of the window, on a train, translated…

The Trains Entered into the Tunnel

There’s Light in the Black

At This Time, Another Car Passes

Those Flashing by Windows

I Saw a Reflection of My Self

The Train Sped Toward the Setting Sun

like this, maybe???  Photo found online…

The Shadows of the Mountains, Sharpened

As I’d Put My Face Close to the Window Facing the West

I Could See the Golden Ray of the Setting Sun

It’d, Bumped into My Glasses

The Deep Blue Clouds Diluted Inside the Stomach

The Railings by the Side of the Rails

With the Barbed Wires

Preventing Summers from Escaping by Jumping the Fences

So, this is the sights you noticed and saw from a train, and, the train must be speeding towards some distant regions of the world, for the skies to be so opened up, that you can see everything under the sun!

Why We Don’t Go to Each Other’s Reunions

How they’d, interacted in marriage, when it comes to the reunions, translated…

The motto from back when was, “So long as I like it”, “Youth is never leaving anything blank”, holding on too tightly, to this bird of my youth—never turning back, everybody in my class called me—the bad girl!

Although I went to an all-girls’ school, there was no boy to look at us, I’d still needed to shorten the length of my skirt, to make my shirt fit to my body too tight, and wore those socks that weren’t allowed by the school.  Although, there weren’t any good looking boys in my school, there were, however, a ton outside, karaoke, dances, socials, riding out at night………I’d, never missed anything that young people enjoyed.

Getting called into the principal’s office, getting screamed at by the disciplinary officials at school, given warning, being written up, it’d still, not changed me, I’d still, skipped school to see the movies with my backpack on, although I’d, played real hard, I’d understood, that I’d needed to, keep my grades in the top three, that way, my dad would only, yap at me, and wouldn’t, ground me, I still, followed the rules, mostly.

My temperament took a huge turn as I’d started working, “gentle, kind, courteous” became my protective coloration, and I was known for my flair, and, my high school classmates jokingly called me a member of the “scam artist rings”, that I’d, tricked my handsome husband to marry me.

My husband who was twelve years older than I am, was also, quite a player when he was younger too.  He’d fallen in love with an older schoolmate back in high school, but she’d, cheated on him, his girlfriend from college started dating someone while when he went away to serve in the armed service, the girlfriend he’d found at work, married the second generation of his company, he always fell in love with the wrong women, kept someone else’s wife, but thankfully, I knew that he was something special, gave him a warm home.

You’d not taken part in my past, and, there’s, no need, for you, to understand that much about my past, and, there’s, no need, for me, to brag about my wild days, but, there would be, those gossipers that yapped at the reunions, and it can easily, cause a revolution.  Besides, I’m, very calculating, I couldn’t, hear my husband tell me of his exes, or his former lovers either, and besides, the sources told me, that all his exes were, very beautiful, and, there’s no way I was ever going to, tolerate that, why would I make troubles for myself?  So, naturally, we’d, gone to our separate class reunions, singly!

And so, because they knew of one another’s ways, how they both had a colorful history of romances, that, is why, to prevent each other from getting angry, they’d, kept all of their past loves, to themselves.

My Finger, without Your Ring on it…

I look down at my hand, where your ring used to be, and, although, I’d, taken that thing off a long, long, long, long, long (5 long’s, that outta be long enough???) ago, there’s, still that whitened strip, where your ring used to be.

My finger, without your ring on it, I gotta admit, it was, a bit, difficult, more or less, for me to adapt to it, gotten, so used to, having your love, wrapped around my fingers, and suddenly, you’d, taken it away, how was I, supposed to, deal with that, huh?

like, hmmmmmmmmm, this???  Photo from online…查看來源圖片

But I’d, forced myself, to keep up with my normal routines, got up in the morn, dressed, went to work, sat at the office, doing what I ought to be doing, then, clock out, sat in that god DAMN afternoon traffic, came back home, cook that supper for one, instead of for two now!

Just going through the motions, like I’m, not really here, living this life of mine…

My finger, without your ring on it, well, it’s time, I guess, to finally, take my wedding band off!  After all, you’d, taken it off, long ago, even, BEFORE we’d, divorced, hadn’t you???






Having a Fulfilled Life After I Retired

Life after retirement, translated…

Leaving the workforce, although it’s something that we must all face, but, there are, a multitude of different feelings and mindsets to which, we take, to leaving.  My reason was, I could no longer get that sense of achievement from work, I don’t want to go to work from nine to five, wasting my time away; and, just because I’m only part-timing now that doesn’t mean, that I don’t have any pressures, I’d become a household wife, enjoying the funs of doing the chores, of going shopping at the marketplaces; that was when I’d, discovered, that I was no longer under the pressures of time of the workplace, that household chores became, second nature to me.

I don’t like staying in bed, still got up early by the day, making the drinks for myself and my spouse, then, steamed up the buns I’d made, then, voila, a fulfilling breakfast.  And, chanting the Buddhist verses was something I’d done every morn, I’

And, I’d always gone out hiking on the weekends when I was still working, and now, I’d gotten, so many free days, and, I’d, naturally increased the number of days I’d, hiked, other than sweating it all out, it’s also, a great way to help keep me in shape, to stay physically active, I hope I can keep this going.

Lastly, I’d gone from a weekend farmer, to a professional farmer, this was, the focus of my life after retirement, but, wanting to look beautiful, I’d, hated the tans, and so, I can only, go out to my patch at dusk, I’d, gotten to soak in the energies of the setting sun; I also got to, watch over my plants.  But the problem with that is I’d, needed to, delay the time for supper, there’s just, no way, I can have it, both ways, I suppose!

As I’m able to, I’d, slowly get involved with volunteering, and taking the courses, naturally, I’d also, scheduled the trips I wanted to take, going out to drink coffees, to share conversations with my best friends, that’s, a must.  Anyways, I need to, make sure I have a fulfilling life, moment to moment, using my way, to enjoy my retirement, to age gracefully!

And so, now you’re, retired, you have, so much time on your hands, and naturally, you’d, need to, find some activities, to fill up the slots, and, you’d found things you were, interested in doing, and so, you’

Experiencing the World, Holding Hands, with the One I Love

Lessons, in getting along better with each other, NOT forcing one another, to go along with what each other enjoys doing, allowing time apart, that, is what makes the relationships, worked out, even better, translated…

I’d, always, envied those couple, traveling together, holding hands, experiencing, the world together.  The newlyweds and the freshly in love couples, originally interacted very intimately with one another but, as the two of you got to a certain age, and can still travel together, then, that means, that you two are, perfectly, matched in every way with each other.

From before when I’d gone to the Tower of Pizza, I saw an elderly couple from England, they were already, elderly, with hair all white, the wife stumbled, but her husband still held her hands tightly, smiling.  I’d walked over ot them, said I can help them take their photo, on one hand, I’d wanted to, help them make the memories, on the other, I’d, selfishly, wanted to, keep this beautiful sight longer for myself.  They were very happy, that I’d, asked, I’d, thanked them, for allowing me to bear witness, of their, beautiful love.  They’d told me, that they’d been, traveling together since they were, younger, now too, that, was a sort of bliss I’d, envied.

I’d also, encountered a couple in my travels, no matter where they go, they always, held hands, and, they’d, talked, and laughed together, and, just, stayed together with one another, the wife placed her hand on the husband’s laps, as the husband, looked out the window at the scenes that passed by, or, fell asleep, it was, oh, so natural.  And now the trip had been, long over, but, how close that couple was with each other, still, stayed in my mind, like I was there, just yesterday.

C called himself a geek, and I’d, enjoyed heading out.  And, we’d, argued on smaller matters like these a lot from before, it seemed, that we had, nothing in common, but, slowly, we’d, come up with ways to interact with one another.  The location, and the itinerary of the trips, I’ll plan, while he’s in charge, to taking me to the locations I’d wanted to go.  I know he’d hated walking too long, I’d, always, find a small café where we can, just sit and drink some coffees together, and, it’s best, that that café, gives him an unobstructed view to where I’m going.  Then, I’d, picked up my camera, and go crazy in taking the pictures, walked for as much as I enjoyed, and, as the time came, after I’d, had my trip, I’d, gone back to find him, and, chitter chattered with him about what I saw, we’d, used our comfortable modes of interactions, to give each other what we’d needed, from the relationship.

No matter how long you knew each other, love needs the work, especially, after being grinded down by the nitty-gritty of day-to-day.  There’s, NO need, to insist on a specific way of interaction, just do what fits you two the best!

So, the two of you had, figured out how to interact with each other, considering one another’s interests, not forcing what you love to do, onto each other, and that, is one of the most vital things in a good relationship: you two can do things apart, or together, just don’t FORCE each other to do something that only one of you enjoys doing…

Learning About Love Together

Found on a carton of a drink I bought for lunch today, translated by me…

Like Learning a Brand New Language with you

Giving New Meanings to These Words

Every Word Has Its Specific Definition

Every Now and Then, with the Stories Attached

We’d, Tried Calling One Another Aloud

查看來源圖片like this???  Photo from online…

Practiced Pointing at Each Other

In the Everydayness, Try to Find that Same Wavelength

Knowing How We’re Both, Referring to the Love We Shared

And that the Silence Doesn’t Mean the Absence of Love

It’s Just, that Sometimes, the Love We Have

Can’t Be Described in Words

And so, even though, the two of you are still, quite new at this (love???), but, as the two of you got along together more and more, there would be, that sense of cohesiveness, that sense of, connectedness, of how, the two of you, are finally, on the same wavelengths, after you’d, adapted to each other’s ways…