Good Morning, Mr. Tsai!

The daily encounters, seeing the changes in a man who works for your community, translated…

I thought he wasn’t going to make it, but now, I’m truly glad, that he’d, stayed.

I live in a medium-sized community with three buildings, the front gates and the parking lot was guarded by the security guard company personnel, there’s usually that three to four individuals at a time, rotating the shifts.  It’s not at all easy, for the security personnel to rotate in the shifts, so, there’s this high turn-over rate, and nobody can know, when there’s going to be a new face one day.

like this?  Photo from online…

The good security guards are like the sales, if they’re active and sociable, they would blend into the community quickly, for instance, as the members of the community go in and out of the front doors, greeting them by their first names, and seeing the housewives with the groceries, would help them carry the bags to the elevators, and, as they’d received the packages, they would hand them over to you as you returned home………in this sort of interactions, as time goes by, the security guards became more like members of our family.

And, that day, there’s someone new working, he was a bit shy, a bit introverted, followed behind the security guard who’d worked here for a while, and would nod and complied as he heard the man said who is very good.  It’s just, that this new person seemed to have something in his mouth, and we’d had difficulties, hearing his words, and sometimes, when it came his that isn’t so strange that he’d not let the rails down, but, as he’d directed the traffic, he resembled that of a robot figure that were used to direct the traffic from the roadside constructions.

As I worried that if his personality would be fitting for this job, a miracle happened!  That was one morning as I drove out to work, as I drove to the security guard’s office from the basement garage, he’d stopped me shortly.

Turns out, in my blind spot, there came an elderly couple strolling slowly forward.

As he’d made sure it was safe, he’d signaled for me to keep going, at the same time, he’d articulated, “Good morning, Mr. Tsai!”, I’d immediately lowered my window completely, and replied, “Thank you, for your hard work!”

keeping an eye on everything that’s going on…not my photo…

That day, on the way to work, I’d felt, especially lighthearted, because I’d felt glad, that a young man had, survived in the workforce.

So, this man is not slow, he just, takes a bit longer, to warm up, and, that still just showed, what you see, may NOT be the whole truth, so, we need to be sure, that we don’t rush to judgment, before we get the WHOLE story!

Changing Your Minds, Getting Along Better with Your Partners in Life, on How to Get Along with One Another

How to get along better with each other, now that it’s just, the two of you that’s left?  Translated…

My husband and I became like roommates, we’d, kept at our own separate televisions, and during mealtime, I’d, hollered out, “Tenant from upstairs, food is served!”, after the tenant finished his food, he’d headed upstairs, continued watching his basketball game.  And, mealtime and sleep, are the two times of the day, the two parallels we’d become, intersected.

The rule of thumb I’m living by is, not forcing things onto myself, nor onto others.  When we found ourselves in argument, I’d found a strategy, take action, not get angry, or waste ANY energies.  If my husband angered me, then, I don’t cook, it’s not, as if, I’m up for the employee of the month, and, by so, I’m teaching him, that he’s the one who’d lost, offending me, only then, would he, adjust his own behaviors.  He could easily, act stubbornly, wear a soured face, he’s the one getting laughed at, I wouldn’t start nagging him at all, I will NEVER find troubles for myself.

all you’re, left with, NOT my photo…

He’d said I’d talked too loud, but, that, is how large the volume my voice is, and now, whenever friends come, I’d told him, to “duck out”.  If he was insistent on being around, then, I’d still carried on conversation with my friends, I’d already warned him beforehand, it was his own choice, to not head out if he didn’t want to hear me talk.

We all have our different traits, like someone with irritable bowel syndrome, would you, tell her/him, NOT go to the bathroom so many times?  So, that stuffed up type A man, I’d, done as accordingly, I chose, to respect his “irritable bowel syndromes”.

I can, choose NOT to get angry toward the arguments we can’t escape from.  For instance those old issues we’d never agreed on, no need to discuss them, or get stressed out by them.  If toothpaste is a source of argument, then, get one tube each, so long as it’s not life-or-death matters, just let him be.

When I want to shop, I’d called on my girlfriends, when I want to see a movie, I’d find someone who’s also a movie fanatic like me, being accompanied by someone who makes you happy, that, is what’s most important; as for you, hubby, as long as you’d worked those nightshifts as the security guard, I’d be satisfied, why must you demand he take up other roles?

Try to break the stringent rules of your own cognitions, there are more options in life, as the thoughts changed, the problems find a way to resolve themselves.  You need to tolerate each other’s differences, to not cross over that boundary, to find a comfortable interaction pattern that both of you can live with.  War or peace, it’s up to you to choose!

you do your thing, I do mine!  Not my photo…

So, this woman is sharing her years of experience, of being married to her husband, they are quite different, with various hobbies, and, as they got older, they started living like parallel lines, and, there’s nothing wrong with that, so long as the two of you respected the boundaries set by one another, not pushing each other’s buttons too hard, then, you will get along just fine, even AS the kids leave home!

Bringing Me Flowers

Between a husband and a wife, translated…

During that period of time, someone always placed a small vase on my desk at office, with stems of roses.  And, although I didn’t know who my secret admirer was, but, I’d felt warm and fuzzy on the inside, with the scent of the flowers.

back when they were dating…not my photo…

After awhile, finally, the man came forth, he’d asked a child to deliver the flowers to my home.  Don’t know if the child was playing a prank, or that the child was respectable toward the elders, he saw my father who was sitting in the living room, he’d thrown the flowers to my father.  And, I’m guessing, that my serious father must’ve felt so furious back then?  Which dumbass, DARED made a move on his baby girl?

Finally, I’d worn my wedding gown, and took the bouquet from his nervous hands, walked, hand-in-hand with him, into his house.

After we married, he’d often come home late from working overtime.  One night, he’d brought home a huge bouquet to give to me, I’d placed it onto the dinner table, enjoying the view, at which time, my mother-in-law commented on how the flowers were not wrapped up beautifully.  “It’s pretty!”, I was wondering.  But now, I’d understood, sons, don’t bring your wives flowers in front of your mothers, or, give your mothers some flowers too, otherwise, the mothers’ hearts made of glass would surely, shatter easily.

after they’re married…not my photo still…

And after that, he’d become smarter.  One year on my birthday, he’d asked his younger sister-in-law to pick up a big cake, along with a bouquet of flowers, delivered it to my school, it’d made me so happy.  That bouquet of flowers had all of my coworkers feeling envious, a good friend of mine carried the flower, and took a picture, sent it to her husband, told him to learn from it.  And, I’d needed to, blame my husband for not being careful enough, don’t know how hard the couple of days that followed, my younger brother-in-law would have to weather through because of this.

Many years of marriage, there’s, still the habits of giving me the flowers.  Every Valentine’s Day or special occasions, seeing how the younger coworkers were, receiving the flowers, it’d made me, feel awful.  The couple of us felt like abandoned ladies, we’d, made a pact, to give one another flowers on the holidays or on our birthdays, with the card that says, “from a secret admirer”, so we can, boast ourselves a bit, and, take the bouquets home, and make our husbands nervous a bit.

and now…flowers for herself, not my photograph still…

Sometimes, when I’d complained to my husband how I’d not received any flowers from him for so long, he’d stated, “Did I not plant a garden full of flowers for you that bloomed throughout the seasons, cherry blossoms, orchids, camellias, roses, jasmines, lilies…all you can wish for, isn’t it enough?”, surely, the flowers had, bloomed for me, their aromas, for me to whiff too, but, I just, want an unexpected surprise!

That day, he’d plucked some magnolias with the leaves attached, placed them on top of a water-filled bowl, handed them to me, it was, lightly scented, full of zen, I’d carried the bowl and sniffed them again, and again, I’d loved it, but, he’d blurted out, “The magnolias are in full bloom, you’re not doing anything, why don’t you pluck them down, and sell them in the streets?”

I’d given him the eye roll, to remind him, that his wife, is a rose, with the thorns.

So, this, is the fun way they’d, interacted with each other, the husband’s gestures from before, buying the flowers, during their courtship, but as they got married, he’d lost his sense of romance, and the wife wanted him to continue to surprise her, but that, is not how men worked, and so, she and her coworkers started sending flowers to each other on the special occasions, and, this showed, how much men changes, from before to after they married.

X, Who Part-Times at McDonald’s

The key, to being happy in life, translated…

The show which I’d met X, was performed in the Environmental Theatres.  What it was was that we’d used the environment we were in as a stage, for instance, if we’re in a place with mountains, creeks and rocks, and we’d used the forces of nature to perform.  That day we were in the Salty Mountains, Tainan, it was a heated June day, everybody wore their completely black weighty costumes—the surfaces of the Salty Mountains were rough on the surface, if we fall, we’d gotten scraped, and, between being injury and sweating like crazy, we all agreed on the latter.

There was a huge group of troupe members, a group of younger male actors, very energetic, and, the pure and always going against the crowd X was among them.  X is the fittest of the bunch I believe, but he’d said he was too fat, that every night he’d broiled some chickens for supper.  He’d had it for a week, it was too expensive for him, he’d stated, that in order to lose weight, you’d first needed the money for it, then he’d, cleaned out the entire boxed lunch.

this would be considered as a menial job, but, it’s, absolutely necessary, that someone does it, to keep the environment clean!  Photo from online…

We didn’t have that many opportunity to play opposites to one another, but I was assigned this action of getting onto someone’s shoulders, but, my performance partner was way too tall, I couldn’t practice the actions, he’d stood up, said he will be my shoulders (he was about my height).  And so, before many words were, exchanged, I’d gone on and off his shoulders using my belly already.

The time to wait for the makeup usually is very long, so I had a book with me, he saw me reading, scratched his head, and told me he was envious of me.

“Envious of what?”

“I have dyslexia, I can’t even read through a page.”

“Is that so?  If you someone read it to you, will you take it in?”

“I wouldn’t know, because nobody’s ever read anything to me before.”

“Then what do you like to do?  Play video games?”

“Not really, I guess, I loved, squiggling around.  I was diagnosed with ADHD from when I was younger, but now, I’m taking anti-depressants.  I really want to read what you’re reading.”

“This is why I’d read the novels like they were plays I suppose, to serve those who want to read, but really can’t.”

“Don’t you think, that people have the tendency to beautify things?  Like when they see someone reading, they would say, that the person reading is very individualistic in thoughts, but, a lot of those who aren’t studious, children, or those from the past generations, they have interesting things to say too.  Even though by stating this, it seemed like I’m just finding an excuse for myself.”

“No, I think you’re right now.  Reading for me, it’s a hobby, like how some liked playing sports and going to the movies.  I don’t think much of it at all.”

“I’m also envious that you have many shows to perform in too.”

“Aren’t we performing together right now?”

not my picture…

“Oh, yeah.”

“Don’t think too far ahead, just think about the present, that, is the secret to happiness in our industry.”

These years, the more I’d come in contact with friends who are emotionally troubled, I’d become more and more certain of one thing: most people seemed normal, but, they’d all had certain levels of emotional problems.  X in my eye, was a sunny boy.  Loved to smile, enjoyed helping other people, has a great appetite.

Later on, as the gig ended, I’d still read about his happenings on FB.  He’d only just started performing, his work wasn’t quite stable yet, and he’d often pondered, if he should, continuing performing.  Once I’d read that he’d part-timed in McDonald’s, as he’d flipped the burgers and made the fries, and waited for the opportunities of call backs, that he’d felt lost.

After I saw the stream, I’d wrote something to him, “I’d met a Spanish teacher whom I loved a lot in England, he’d started a weekend clown course, told us that after he’d graduated from school, he’d worked in endless number of jobs, and the longest lasting was a trash collector.  During that period of time in his life, he saw his city, through the most menial ways.  Then one day, he’d realized, that he existed as he had, that, was what made him into a clown.  So alone, so blended in, so humorous, yet, so very sad.  Later on, he’d become, an outstanding clown.  Clown is just a general term, each and every clown in the world, is unique.  Making the French fries, flipping the burgers can give you that sense of stability too, at least, it’d made you live, securely.”

He’d replied, “Jiu-Yun, thank you.  When I started demanding myself, to make each and every French fry perfect, and seeing the customers have one right after another, and another, I’d felt very accomplished, your secret, I’d caught it!”

satisfied over life here, not my photo…

It’s fine you’d, learned that, just be sure, you apply it often to your life.

So the secrets of being happy is not that difficult at all, you don’t necessary need a TON of high-end stuff (cars, properties, electronic gadgets, jewelry, etc., etc., etc.) you just have to be comfortable, in your lives, feel satisfied every single day after the end of working hard, knowing that you’d done, a wonderful job at work, that, should be enough, to keep you satisfied.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Experience it Yourselves

Changes in one’s attitude, brought on by the many ups and downs of life, translated…

Is marriage a good thing?  I’m thinking, that it’s different based off of everybody’s experiences, and the answer, only one knows.

A couple of years ago, an old friend of mine talked about the ups and downs of her marriage, said that if she could have it to do all over again, she would’ve have chosen to get married; and, a short while ago, she’d talked to me about her daughter, and how well her and the members of her family are getting along, with that look of bliss all over her face.

I’d smiled and asked, didn’t you regret getting married from before?  She’d become stunned, then asked me, “Did I say that?  But, if you ask me that same question now, all I can say, that you need to experience it yourself to find out.”

Like drinking a cup of water, only you would know if it’s hot or cold; the life in marriage, with a mixture of sentiments.  Or maybe, marriage is not good or bad, it all depends, on how you see it as.

And that, is the importance of attitude, perhaps, when this friend came to the writer from before, her child was acting up, and she and her husband had an argument, that, was why she first stated, that marriage wasn’t the right choice for her, but, as the time passes, she and her family got along better, and, she’d started thinking, that being married, and having children is actually, a good thing.  This just showed, how unless you’d, experienced things from top to bottom, you can’t jump to conclusion on if something is good or bad for you.  You must give it enough time for life, to run its course…

Missing the Afternoon Rain…

Can’t believe I’m actually saying this: I’m actually, missing the afternoon rain, as the weather’s getting hotter and hotter, I’m finding it hard, to keep my body cooled down, and, oh, how I prayed for that, afternoon rain that would pour down on the roof of this house from awhile ago, so long as it doesn’t rain for the entire afternoon, just right before I get off work, for half to an hour’s time, and that, would suffice…

Missing the afternoon rain, because of the heat.  It’s getting hotter and hotter in the afternoons, and, being indoors, in this air-conditioned (yeah right!!!) place doesn’t do SQUAT in helping my body to adjust to the high-heat outside, and, eventually, I will, be heading outside, and then, I shall be, overwhelmed, by this attack of heated weather, making it harder, for my body to cope!

like this,  and so long as it only lasted for a botu half an hour before getting off work…not my animation…

If only…if only, the rain can, come down in amounts that are enough, to cool the weather off a bit, and then, dry back up again, leaving behind some small amounts of moisture in the air, that, would be grand, but, it doesn’t work that way, because when it rained, it usually comes down, super hard, like needles, falling from the skies, attempting to, penetrate through those plastic or tarp umbrellas, attacking the people hiding underneath it.

That, is how the weather is, and how we humans are: when it gets too hot, we missed the colder weather, and longed for a little bit of rain, and, when it rained down hard (b/c it does!!!), we’d longed, for the sunnier days, and, there’s just, no middle grounds here………

like this, not my photograph… 

 

 

 

 

Buddy, Coming to Mom’s Rescue

How a pet had, changed his owner’s mind, translated…

Recently, dad lost weight so suddenly, it’d affected his leg muscles, and could no longer move about freely, he couldn’t, take “Buddy” out to relieve himself as he’d, wished to, and he’d felt, so sorry over it, and yet, there was, nothing he could do.

And thus, the responsibilities for taking care of Buddy rested on mom’s shoulders, it’s just, that Buddy suddenly, changed hands, to be looked after whom he feared the most regularly, “grandma”, he had a hard time, making the adaptations, and had, dodged away from mom, avoided eye contact with her, it’d made mom angry and she thought it was funny too.

Buddy would play coy with dad and dad would cave, and can only, console with him, to have him go out with “grandma”, but, Buddy would rather just, pee inside, and grandma chased him all over the house, and he’d, refused to get anywhere near her.

like this???  Photo from online…

That day mom went to the roof to hang out the clothes to dry, begged Buddy to get out there with her to get some fresh air, Buddy still refused, and, pretended that he was, asleep, next to dad, refused to move away.  But, mom forgot to take her keys out, and afterwards, she’d started ringing the doorbell, and calling home like crazy, but dad didn’t hear her, it was Buddy who’d heard the sounds, and ran back into the bedroom to check, and just, ran back and forth, barked incessantly, that, was when dad realized, that something was up, got outside with his cane, and found mom’s predicament.

Mom was very moved by Buddy’s act, and realized, that “Those who don’t carry a grudge ARE your loved ones”, and, Buddy, who now knew better, would follow mom as she called him to go outside now.

So, because the father was the one who normally took care of the pet, and so, the pet was, naturally closer to the man, and when it came time for his wife, who didn’t like the pet that much, to take him out, naturally, the dog refused to go with her, and, it wasn’t, until the woman locked herself out, and the dog realized this, and alerted the man, the mom changed her mind about the pet, and this still just showed, how pets are better than humans, as company, because, they can help you learn to love something you originally disliked…