Give Me a Bouquet of Flowers

Making your own days brighter, spending only a little money to make yourself happy, translated…

On the way home from work, I’d brushed shoulders with thousands of people, and couldn’t help, but feel somewhat, agitated, but, turning the corner, into that florist shop, seeing the wide variety of flowers, waving their arms at me, I was able to, saturate my emotions, even, felt, a bit, glad.

it’s, not for anybody else, but herself, not my photograph…

I’d selected a bundle of my favorite flowers, making the rest of my way home easier, even if I was, cramped inside the MRT trains, there was, a separate world, belonging to, just me there.  And, if there were, a couple of days that I couldn’t make my way to the florist’s, I’d lost that center in my own life, felt, that there’s, NO light in the house, that I’d, not felt safe and secure anymore.  Give me a bouquet of flowers, then, I’m, fully, recharged; a woman with a bouquet of flowers, carries herself, most beautifully in the world.

A child who’d brushed by my side said enviously, “Mommy, look, she has a bouquet of flowers!”, I’d felt, delighted, somewhat, proud, I’d, pulled a rose from my bundle, handed it to that cute child, said, “Now, you have your own flower too!”

So, this, is passing around the happiness you’d found, in your ordinary day-to-day living, because life can become a total DRAG, and, if you don’t find some way, to cheer yourself up like this woman had found the ways to, then, you will always, be carrying that soured face to and from work every single day, from nine to five, or even longer.

making the floral arrangements oneself, photo from online…

Save Some Face, for One’s Daughter-in-Law

If you want to do it, then, don’t complaint, and if you want to complain, then, don’t do it, simple as that!  Translated…

“My bad fortune came in the elderly years, I’m already eighty, and still had to cook for my daughter-in-law!”, Auntie Man started complaining to Auntie Rong again.  Auntie Man’s husband died when she was younger, leaving behind, a pair of young children, and she’d worked as a maid, to raise them up into adulthood years.

Since her son married, Auntie Man started carrying the household chores upon herself, so her son, her daughter-in-law can go to work, and, after her grandchild was born, she’d helped out in raising him up too.  Many years later, she’s still responsible, for cooking for her family of five.  She said, that she was, cooking for the sake of her grandson, because her daughter-in-law wouldn’t set foot into the kitchens.  And, Auntie Man would complain to ALL who will listen to her, and in the end, the words got back to the daughter-in-law’s ears, and, she’d treated her mother-in-law even more coldly, the two of them don’t interact at all.

“So, why don’t you just, stop cooking, and let the family take care of their own meals; if you still want to cook, then, don’t complain.  You must think, of how your daughter-in-law would feel, as she’d heard these gossips about her too, that would, make her lose face, right?  You need to be glad, that you’re still, very able-bodied, how many friends of yours had, passed away and died?  You’re more than blessed, to be able to, take care of your own daily living, you are, very blessed!”

After Auntie Rong got through to her, Auntie Man’s moods finally, lifted up, and no longer complained to the neighbors about, how she was, taking care of all the meals of her family, and, the relationship of her and her daughter-in-law improved as well.

So, in this case, the problem rests in the mother-in-law, she doesn’t want to cook for her entire family, and yet, she still did it, and complained about it, and, her complaints got into her own daughter-in-law’s ears, and that, was why her daughter-in-law got on bad terms with her, but, since the friend/neighbor helped the woman see things a different way, she’d stopped complaining, and, as she’d stopped complaining, her relationship with her daughter-in-law improve, and, what do you think that showed?  Exactly!

Another Segment of the Journey

Learning, to cope with the parents’ dementia, translated…

In one’s life, there are things, that we wish we could forget, but the more we’d tried to forget them, the closely, they’d, followed behind, especially those painful experiences in our lives. We’d wanted to forget about all that’s painful, but we’d, greedily, desired others to remember us too, because being remembered, is what made us feel we mattered.

Looking at my parents who’d both become demented, forgetting all of our names, along with ALL the memories associated with us, all of a sudden, I’d, come to understand, that “forgetting” is a hurtful word, a torturing feeling.

For my demented parents, every moment was like a first, the same questions being asked, tried our patience; and still, toward the young children’s repeated inquiries, the adults felt that they’re, very cute and naïve. Actually, there’s, no call for patience, just take out that glasses that’s with an alternative perspective, then, everything will be, smoother.

After my parents became demented, they’d never, acting according to the scripts given to them, to the point, of crazy, and none of us could, handle them, we are only able to, follow behind them, to clean up the messes they’d, made. But, as my parents grow older, their mind had, regressed back to that of children’s, if we’d looked at dementia through this perspective, then, maybe, “not remembering”, “hard to control” would become, easier to cope with, and that everything they did, was not to make us suffer, that it was, only, a part, of this, journey to life.

So, this, is on how a person can adjust her/his mindset, in coping with the parents becoming demented, because, dementia is becoming, the common cold of the elderly years right now, and, if we don’t learn to adapt to our parents’ whacked out behaviors, then, we’re only making it harder on ours

Inspirations that Came from the Rain

Finding inspiration from one’s external environments here, translated…

Early in the morn, there’s the light drizzling rain, with that shadowy, that dampened feeling inside my house, I looked out over the back balcony, toward the distant mountains, and felt that cool breeze, and I’d thought, why not, walk into that place that felt more comfortable?

So, with my umbrella, put on my cute rainboots, I’d watched the rain washed into the large ditches close by, looked toward the communities in the distances, and felt grateful, that I have this house, to shelter me from the rain, and that I was able to, go out for a stroll in the rain as I’d wished to. I’d started humming my favorite folk song as I’d walked along, “I’d often walked in the drizzling rain, searching for something, in the drizzling rain………”, how fitting!

just sitting, accomanied by the rain, NOT my photo…

Then, the thunder sounded off, followed by that hard downpour, with the pedestrians’ hastened footsteps, and, I’d, started, catching up to their paces now. Then, I’d thought, I’d forgotten, to listen, to this bliss with my own tempo again, then, the verses of Dong-Puo Su, “Hearing the Leaves Beating in the Woods, and Walking Along Quickly by”, came to my mind.

So, you can find many inspirations in the rain, like this one, had it been a sunny day, then, you wouldn’t have the opportunities to feel inspired by the changes of rain, and couldn’t have become so poetic.

getting bigger now…NOT my photograph…

Moving & Letting Go, Thoughts

A lifestyle is what this is, translated…

Life is made up of, series of choices, which made us into who we are currently.

In the process of growing up, I’d moved, countless number of times. And because of how frequently we’d moved, once my parents forgot to tell me where we’d, moved to, after school, I didn’t know where I was turning towards, and so, I can only, start crying by the side of the roads, until my parents finally came, and found me, and led me home.

All of these earlier experiences had made me keep this habit, as I get something, I’d quickly, sorted through them, I’d tossed what needed to be tossed away quickly, and had, tried to maintain what I have, to as simple as I possibly can, so I can, “make a run for it” at any time, to deal with this never-the-same world I live in.

too many things, we’re, hanging on to…NOT my photograph…

This is not only limited to the tangible things, even the information I’d kept inside my computer, or cell phone too, the e-mails in my mailboxes, I’d, delete as much as I possibly can. Every time I’d thrown something away, I’d always felt, relieved, and in my subconscious, I’d treated throwing things away, as a stress relief method. As I’d started to feel, that something wasn’t quite right with my bladder, I’d gone to an urologist, and the doctor told me to kept a diary of my habits, and that was, when I realized, that I have, a smaller volume in my bladder, reason being I’d gone to the restrooms too often, that was why, my bladder was, so small. Normally, the doctors suggested the patients not to keep their urine inside, but my doctor told me, that I’d, needed to, keep my urine in every now and then, after all, too little of something, is also, NOT a good thing.

Thanks to all of my habits, I’d kept my home tidy, reason being, I don’t have many belongings, secondly, I’d, hidden my things inside my closets. Once a friend came by, and she was surprised, at where I’d, kept all of my things.

From when I was growing up, I’d never kept a single card, and all of those feelings were kept, deep inside of me, when I’d gone abroad, I’d not, gone shop-wild either, at most, I’d picked a keyring that’s easy to keep, and won’t take up too much space. And even for the calendars I’d received at the end of the year, I’d cut them into smaller squares, saves the space for me to hang it up, and just, stuck it with a magnet, to the side of my fridge, one piece of paper a month. And naturally, as you would’ve guessed, I’d thrown one out, as the month ended, never leaving a mark.

cleaning things out for that long and overdue yard sale here, NOT my picture…

Some people will have luggage stickers, stuck on their suitcases, that would certainly NOT be me, I’d made sure, that the stickers were, torn off completely. I’d not bought ANY yearbooks either, because it takes up a lot of space. I believe, that laptops are, invented for people like me, everything is saved, inside a small hard drive, everything is, condensed, compressed, to the smallest possible sizes.

I’d often thought, people with hoarding tendencies probably almost never moved from one place to the next, and, moving a couple of times, their hoarding tendencies may well be, cured. Moving, is an alternative sort of psychological cleaning too, you’d needed to, say goodbye to the past, learn to, lose things, learn to, begin again.

So, this, is this person’s character, s/he felt no need, to keep too many belongings, because the individual moved around a lot, and, from her/his pervious moving experiences, s/he’d learned, that keeping so many things that were of, “sentimental values” doesn’t do her/him any good, so, the individual started living, using a whole new lifestyle, a life of reductions, and, it’s, worked for her/him, fine.

A Repented Caged Bird

Turning homeward, figuring out, that home is a place that welcomes you back in, no matter what, translated…

Shortly after you’d graduated from technical high school, you’d become like a bird, caged for too long, willing, to work as a sales’ assistant at a small company, and NOT continue with your education, and be guarded by your parents.

Back then, the pays were measly, but, after work, you’d gotten the opportunity to, go into the city with your coworkers, to have some teas, to chit-chat, you’d felt, that it was, the happiest time of your life. And still, don’t know when, the you who had always followed orders, and your parents felt you had, changed, and tried to convince you, to come back home right after work, and yet, you’d, chosen, to anger them by staying out into the late hours of the nights, which caused them to lock up the doors so you couldn’t get back in as you’d returned home.

That time too.

After work, everybody agreed to go to the tea shop to hang out, and you’d told your mother, that you were going home late, but didn’t tell her the time, it’d angered your mother that she just, hung up the phone on you. Surely, that gathering WAS a blast, you’d watched all of your coworkers who are so full of life experiences share their lives’ tales, felt that everything is so very new and wonderful. Until after the gatherings, it was, already, very late, on the way home, your motorcycle skidded, and, you were, thrown to the side of the roads like a bowling ball, had multiple abrasions on your arms and legs. There was, no one around you, you’d carried your pains, gotten up, attempted to, restart your ignition. And thankfully, although the motorcycle was damaged partially, it’d still, worked.

home is a place to be, after a long, hard day, not my picture…

As you arrived home, you found the doors unlocked, you’d taken your motorcycle in. The light in the living room turned on, your mom saw how beaten you were, took a look over at your motorcycle, with that look of distress, of worry over you, didn’t say a single word, just dressed your wounds. And this scene was able to, get your heart back home again.

Afterwards, your parents didn’t blame you, or scold you. But, after that, you’d, come back home again.

So, this, is on the longing, to fly out, and realizing, that home is a harbor for you, because you’d felt that warmth from your family, how they’re always going to be there for you, no matter what, even as you’d returned home later than you were supposed to, your mother still, took care of your injuries, and that made you change your ways, you’d, realized, that home is always a safe place for you, and, it’s a place you want to be close to…

It’s a Blessing, Changing Tracks

Quitting, because of a misunderstanding had, opened up a door of opportunity for the woman, while those who’d stayed at her former job, well, they’re not, doing so well, translated…

That day, I received a call from my former coworker, May, she’d told me she wanted to talk to me about something, and I’d known right away, that she’d hit a bump at work again.

At first, she’d worked as an accountant at her last job, she’d gotten along with her two assistant at first, but later on, they’d gotten on bad terms because of the assignments of tasks, they’d started blaming me for not making the right calls; it’d put me, who was stuck between my manager and my subordinates, in a difficult position.

May who works in the auditing department who started working four months before I had, because of our age, we’d become, the best of friends, and had spent lunch and gotten off work together often. I’d originally thought, that May understood me, but once, my assistant had gone over me, to complain about me, May didn’t stand up for me right away, and believed in the exaggerated claims of my assistant. Later on, we’d argued for almost an hour in the manager’s office, as I’d stepped out of the office feeling disappointed, I’d bumped into my boss, and, I told him, that I wanted, to quit, and, not knowing what had happened, he’d not said a word, and signed off on my resignation.

On my last day of work, I’d asked May to head to the rooftop restaurant for lunch with me. During the time, May was displeased at how I’d just, quit my job, not consulted her first. She’d believed, that there is, room for discussion still, but I was already, a defeated soldier, ready, to leave.

After a month of break time, I’d started working at my current company as an executive accountant, although I’d made a lower pay compared to before, but, the coworkers got along very well with each other. During this time, I’d still kept contact with May, and she’d from time to time, told me of the office goings-on since I’d left.

Later on, May finally learned what her assistance was all about, and felt bad about having misunderstood me from before. Every time she’d told me about the happenings at my former workplace, I’d felt, so very glad, that I’d, quitted that job from before.

I’d heard, that the new executive accountant was excellent working, and the superior depended greatly on her, and the two assistants both left the job one by one, because they have different ideals about the company. And because the workers came and went too quickly, May started becoming left out by the boss, and from time to time, she’d become, the scapegoat of things, she’d felt trying.

Tonight, May lined me, and we’d shared the goings-on of our separate lives, I’d told May, that I’d not blamed her for misunderstanding me from before, instead, I was, more than grateful toward her. Having tripped and fallen, it’d made me realize a lot of things, and now, I’d learned, to become more humbled in interacting with others, and I’d not evaded my responsibilities, when troubles come up in the workplace either. I know, that maybe, May’s future may be filled with bumps, but I believe, that she too, will be like me, finding her own path in life as well.

So, this, is the goings on of an office, because the woman’s manager misunderstood her, didn’t hear both side of the story, and caused her to quit, and, this just shows, that there’s, problem from the top down, because if it’s a company that runs well, meaning that the CEO, the boss, oversees everything, then, everything and everyone below the CEO should also, work out smoothly, but it didn’t, so, it’s the operations of the company that’s having the problems, and, the narrator had, quit, and switched to a better job because of it.