Sick & Tired, of ALL the What-If’s…

I’m sick, sick and tired, of ALL the what-if’s, what if, we’d met earlier, than, I would NOT be STUCK in this state of mind, this way of life I’m currently in, and you, I really don’t know, nor would I, wish to give a SHIT, what happens to you!

Sick and tired, of all the what-if’s, and yet, they’d, built up, like those dust that’s, covered up the mantle, and, I’m allergic to DUST ahhhhhhhhhhchoooooooooooo!!!  Sick and tired, of all the what-if’s, what are the purposes of, those annoying, what-if’s anyway, huh?  Sick and tired, of All the what-if’s, had we met earlier, had we not allowed life to get in the way of our love, then, it may all have turned on, differently, and yet, we’d, gone down, separate paths in life (hopefully, our paths will, NEVER come near to intersecting again!!!).

Sick and tired of ALL the what-if’s, they’re, absolutely, USELESS and pointless, and, the purpose of those god DAMN annoying what-if’s is merely to, keep me bound, to my past, and I’d, decided, I want to, break free, and now, all that’s, left for me to do, is to figure out an effective way, to get myself, from those piled-on what-if’s on top of me right now………

Sick and tired of ALL the what-if’s, if there are, no what-if’s, this world would be, perfect (well more like LESS defective!!!) to live in, wouldn’t it???  And yet, count up, how many what-if’s are in your lives???







One Day, I Will See Us…

yup, it’s, EXACTLY like this!!!  Photo from online…

One day, I will see us, for who we truly are, without ALL the flashes, the thrills, and the spotlights, just plain you and I…

One day, I will see us, after the love had, faded, after so many washes it’d, endured, we will finally, show our selves to each other, but until then, I guess, we’ll simply just, live blindly, with the façades of love, hovering over us both.

One day, I will see us, without the hi-def colors, when everything became black and white, AND shades of gray too, and maybe then, I’ll realize, that this ain’t love at all, but until the day comes, I’ll always be, that girl with stars in her eyes, dreaming of you, as her Prince Charming (more like a TOAD if you ask me!!!).

One day I will see us, but, I can’t, because, the realities of this god DAMN life of mine, hadn’t quite, set in yet, and, don’t know when, it’ll, set in, but, I got a feelin’, that, it’ll be, sometime soon, ‘cuz lately, I’d been, feelin’, kinda awful, with you around………

One day, I will see us, but, I still can’t, because I’m still, BLINDED, by these HUGE headlights of L-O-V-E, you do realize, how driving to someone else’s headlights CAN blind you, right???




Hearing about Your Lost Love

From a blog in Chinese I’m a subscriber to, translated by me…

I kept hearing you talk

About her

You kept ranting incessantly on

how good she was

pouring her heart out 的圖片結果exposing the most vulnerable parts of ourselves here…not my photograph…

You Kept Telling Me About Him

How He’s Still, Taking Up Her Whole Heart

I Kept Listening to You

Telling Me about Your Ex-Girlfriend’s Him & Her

With the Beginning, and the End, How Regrettable it Was that the Two of You Met Up Too Late

You Kept Ranting Incessantly

like this, except it’s with her current boyfriend instead of a girlfriend…not my photograph…

On the Second Person Pronouns in Your Life

Belonging to You, Him, and Her

Existed, in My First-Person Regrets

My & My Loneliness

We Keep, Hearing that Rain Falling on the Lakes of My Heart

So, this is on the sorrows of dating someone who hadn’t readied her/himself for you yet, and, maybe, you think that if you wait a little longer, than, the individual will wholeheartedly, give her/himself to you, but, that’s a FAT chance, because people usually don’t get over their broken hearts, especially with the emotional attachments still intact that easily!





Motivated by the Lies…

I was, motivated by the lies, they bear, NO short-term bad consequences, in fact, they’re, all beneficial to me for the time being…

Motivated by the lies, that, is how you were raised, for every lie you’d told since you were a young child, you’d gotten away with, doing something you shouldn’t have, and, because you’d, escaped punishment for misbehaving by lying about your actions, you’d turned, into, a habitual liar.

Motivated by the lies, we all have the opportunities in our lives, to get, motivated by the lies, because, let’s face it, there are, almost NO short-term bad consequences for telling lies, and besides, most of the lies we tell, are those, little white ones, and, they don’t hurt nobody (yes, still highly aware, that I’d used, ANOTHER, won’t be my last still!!! DOUBLE-NEGATIVE!).

Motivated by the lies, because you are too nearsighted, only seeing what’s before you, you’d, neglected that for the long run, truth will serve you better………

Troubled, by ALL Their Secrets…

She was, troubled, by ALL their secrets, for they used her, like a Pandora’s Box, and started, pouring their secrets into her.  At first, she didn’t think it was a big deal, but as she got older, the secrets changed and maximized, and, they’d, grown, out of proportions now…

like this…not my photograph…

Troubled, by ALL their secrets, there are, those years, of hidden truths, masked up with lies.  Troubled, by ALL their secrets, there’s, NO way she’ll, ever be free, from it all, she’d been, hearing those, harsh-sounding secrets all her life, and now, her life became, nothing but, this BIG lie!

Troubled, by ALL their secrets, how will she ever be free?  How will she ever be, rid of the secrets now, she’d been carrying them, since her entire life.  Troubled, by ALL their secrets, she’ll NEVER be, free again, she’ll forever be, troubled now.

like this???  Not my photograph…

Troubled, by ALL their secrets, she won’t, not anymore!  For, she’d, given ALL their secrets, BACK, to their designated “owners” now, and, she felt, lighter these days, now that she’s, stopped carrying everybody ELSE’s secrets with her.



The Day & Night Cafe, No. 4

Life, as a fake, translated…

After Sipping Up that Final Sip of Café Vienna, I’d Gotten Up

Decided to Take the Trains Southbound to Vienna in the Night, He, Who’s Japanese-German

Fluent in German, Recalled How His People Were Defeated in World War II

Life was Like an Auction, with the Highest Bidders Winning

like this???  Not my photograph…

And, After the War, Those Who’d Made the Low Bids Dropped out One by One

The Two Still Standing, Fighting to Win;

The Auctions of Love is Full of Dangers

The Auctioneers can Only Laugh & Make Fun of Themselves

And, There May be, Falsified Love Here as Well

We Needed to Wait Until the Show’s Over to Know the Truth

Understanding, How Every Move is Hinting at Something Else

Like a Kiss, that was, a Kiss Goodbye

A Hug, for the Final Last Time

which one is the real me, I’m totally confused here!  Not my photograph…

That Keyring of Happiness, is a Memorabilia

Continuous, the Beginning is the End, the End, Beginning

But, I Couldn’t Get at, that Tear I’d, Wiped Off My Cheeks

From that Bath I’d Taken Before

Pushing the Doors Outward, Feeling the Fourth & Fifth Spinal Column Ache Lightly

Was Virgil, Was Aldermann, Elderly?

Must be, Confused with the Time then?  Everyone Was Once Young & Pretty

The Young Lovers, Flew Away Together, But it Never Lasts, He’d Insisted

the distorted versions of the self, not my artwork…

That Giving Up is Not Giving in, She Does, Love Him, Just Couldn’t, be with Him Forever

Turned Out, that Was, Their Last Time, Especially, Arousing, Especially, Sexual

He’d Walked Toward the Crowd in the Clock Tower, Fully Dressed

The Fakes Looked Good on the Outside, and Only He Knew, His Own, Worthlessness

Afterwards, there Shall be, No Clocks, No Way to Tell Time

Nobody Shall, Ever Know, Nothing Had, Happened Here

So, this, is someone’s realizations, that everything s/he desired, was absolutely, NOTHING of importance, and, instead of changing the ways, changing one’s own behaviors, this character just, keeps on living, in the untrue forms of himself…

A Toy Gun, a Short Prose

How much someone’s life can change, with a switch of a thought here???  Or maybe, she’s just, refusing to see the truth, so she won’t hurt at all…translated…

She went to a wholesales mart, saw a young boy running excitedly with a toy gun.  She’d thought, he has NO idea what’s in store for him for the futures, that was why he’s so, excited.   Perhaps, if we knew a little less, then, we can be, happy.  As she got home, she’d stopped using her cell phone, and found a job that doesn’t involve her using a computer.  She’d taken up gardening with an elderly man, spending her days as a green thumb, she’d felt peaceful and happy.  Because she doesn’t know, that he’s found a new love, and is about to get married soon.

like this???  Not my photo…

So, this, is how this woman deals, with the fact, that the man she loved had found someone new, she’d used distractions, and pretended that nothing’s happened, by forcing that scent of childish innocence on herself, and that little boy with a toy gun, running happily is a sort of a threshold guardian to her life, for the child had, led her into this naïve, this innocence way of living, and, we just don’t know, how long her state of mind will last…