When We Can’t Even Be Strangers Anymore…

This, is where we both end!!!

When we can’t even be strangers anymore, because of what we’d done, to one another, we can’t even show the same kind of courtesy we would, for an unknown stranger, in treating each other…

When we can’t even be strangers, maybe, it’s best, that we move away from each other, as far as we possibly can’t, better yet, why don’t you, move out of the country, or, I’ll fly out, so there’s, NO chance of us, running into each other ever again, huh?

not my silhouette…

When we can’t even be strangers, that, is where love had, led us to.  We’d gone from, strangers, to acquaintances, to close confidants to each other, shared many dreams together, and yet, all those fantasies became, nothing MORE than delusions!

When we can’t even be strangers, maybe, that, is how we’re, destined to end?  After all, we’d all bore witness to how a good love can take a turn for the worst, so quickly, and we couldn’t even, find the time, to SLAM on that brake, and, we’d, rammed into something huge, and, we’d both died, upon impact already…

When we can’t even be strangers, ever since the end, I kept on asking myself, what did I do wrong, and kept, ramming, into that DEAD-END, it wasn’t, until I’d, finally accepted, that I’d, failed in this marriage did I finally, found an opening, for me, to escape………

like this!  Not my photograph…

When we can’t even be strangers, yup, I’m okay with that, strangely enough…must’ve been, this DEAD-END love I got involved with you, that’s, killed, this very, FINAL speck of love that’s, left inside of me then???

 

 

 

 

We’d Agreed on a Lifetime

Lost in love, and yet, you’d, gained something else that’s, better, the love of your own young!  Translated…

“He is very impatient with you!”

“His kindness to me, only I know.”

“He took a girl home on his own!”

“You’d, misjudged him.”

it’s just the two of us now, but we’re okay, aren’t we???  Photo from online…

“You are so disappointing.”

“Sorry, I will be very happy.”

The kindness from others, had been, brushed off by my own self-believed bliss, I’d entered into marriage when I was just twenty.

Once, at the banquet, he’d gotten down on one knee, proclaimed to me before all whom I loved, “I will watch over you with my whole life.”  In the maternity ward, tears circled around his eyes, as he held my hand tight, “I don’t want you to suffer again.”  By my bed, he’d smiled and stroked our son’s cheek lightly, “You are both, my most precious gifts in life.”  Having his love made me the happiest woman alive.  Until he’d turned cold, changed, and then, left finally; turns out, losing a marriage, is so, heartbreaking and such a torture.

“Mommy, I miss you so today.”, my son called me back to reality, he’d, given me a tight hug, it’d given me the strengths, to conquer the whole world now.

without the father of the child, they’re still, fine!  Photo from online…

I think, I’m, not hung up on what he’d given me, his promise of a false kind of a lifetime, but, this gift of a child from up above.

So, after you’re a mom, everything changes, everything became focused on your child, and, no matter what happens, your child needs you to be there, and so, you’d, toughened up, to look after and take good care of him, the strength of a mother, and a woman who’s divorced.

As Forever Crossed Our Minds

We were, holding hands, as we ran outside, with the rice being thrown at us, as forever crossed our minds, and, after that, it was, gone, like ROADKILL!!!

As forever crossed our minds, we were, reminded of what love meant to us both, how we’d, drained this love of ours dry, and how, it is, totally, not worth it, to salvage, what was left, of the, brokenness of this god DAMN love that was, once here, in our lives.

“I don’t like you anymore!”  Not my photograph…

As forever crossed our minds?  Oh, forever’s NEVER crossed my mind, I knew that this was only, temporary, because NOTHING ever lasts in life, besides, I’d, lost, WAY, WAY, W-A-Y too much already, and, I wasn’t, going to, become, so strongly attached, to another who’s, bound to leave me in the end…

As forever crossed our minds, yup, it already had, and now, it’s, the end of this line for us both, and, time for us, to call it quits, to throw in that god DAMN towel, and, get off, then, go our, separate ways.

like this???  Not my sketch…

 

 

 

 

That Old Suitcase…

Remember that old suitcase we’d taken on our honeymoon? Remember, how it was, such a simple leather case, without too much added on (the combination locks, the keys, etc., etc., etc.). The times, they were, simpler then, weren’t they?

That old suitcase, with ALL those years of our good AND bad memories, collected into it, it’d been, sitting up there, in the attic, for ages, forgotten, by us both…

something that looks like this, perhaps???  Photo from online…舊皮箱 的圖片結果

That old suitcase, it’d, carried, all our former years of love, and now, on the verge, of parting ways, I’d, stumbled upon that old thing, as I’d, cleaned out the attic, of this house, where ALL the memories, were made.

It’d, tumbled down, and, opened all on its own, and, the contents within it, they’d all, spilled out, splattered, all over the floors of that dusty old attic. I’d, started, cleaning up, picking up its, contents, not paying the things that were in there any mind, at first.

Then, a photo of us, on that very first vacation, with the kids, popped out, and, I’d, picked it up, looked at us closely, that was, one of our, best moments together, wasn’t it?

and inside of it, photo from online…

And, look at us now! We’d lived separate lives, we’d, managed, to, raise three wonderful children into their adulthood years, and they’re now all, doing quite well in their separate lives, our jobs as their parents, are done here!

That old suitcase, was the only thing I took, plus the assets, split down in the middle, in our long and overdue divorce, and, I’d, stored it, in the attic again, of this loft that I bought with my alimony, and, forgotten, that it’s, there, like how, we’d lived in this former marriage we once shared, like two strangers too………

Since the Flood Took Away ALL Our Shared Memories…

Since the flood took away ALL our shared memories, we’re left, with this, broken down, torn-up shack! Since the flood took away ALL our shared memories, I’m thinkin’, that maybe, just M-A-Y-B-E, we should just, END this so-called love we’d once shared together?

Since the flood took away all our shared memories, the water came so quickly, it’d, flooded this home we’d built up together, and, it was, so merciless, in submerging EVERYTHING that was once so wonderful, so good, underwater, and now, everything is, water-damaged!

the flood, NOT my photo…

Since the flood took away all our shared memories, maybe, it’s time, we start, walking in separate directions, leave this so-called, already, DROWNED love of ours, behind? Just, give it, the proper burial it’d needed, and, move on already? What say you?

Since the flood took away all our shared memories, there’s just nothing keeping me here now, so, I’d, upped, and out, and, although I’d left everything we’d shared behind, I still couldn’t help, but turn my head around, every now and then, to look back………

Breaking the love…and normally, what comes after was the blood, rushing out, as you’d, hit an artery!!!  Not my photo…

Since the flood took away all our shared memories, I’m thinkin’, that maybe, it’s heaven’s (or fate’s) way, of saying, that we shouldn’t, be together, that we’re, not properly, fitted to one another, like pieces in a jigsaw puzzle???

We’d Lived Together without Sex for Thirty Years, Should I Divorce Her

A Q&A, translated…

Q: I Feared that My Wife Couldn’t Survive and So I Can’t Leave Her

Mr. X who studied abroad in the earlier years, after earning his degree and getting a job, in his thirties, returned to Taiwan, and married a woman twelve years his junior, they moved to the States to live together, but after they had three children, his wife refused to have sex with him, believed that sex served the sole purpose of procreation.

Other than that X was violently attacked by his wife eleven times. Once she’d threatened him with a knife, at another encounter, X picked up the phones to call the police, but the phone was broken by his wife, and X can only escape to a friend’s house.  X had asked his wife to see a doctor, but she’d told him she wasn’t sick, that he was the one with the problems.

And, just like that, X lived for thirty years celibately, and because his wife didn’t learn English, she couldn’t support herself by finding a job, and he couldn’t bear to leave her.  For the years, he’d found an outlet for his own pent-up emotions through the supports and exercising, but was diagnosed with depression and needed to be medicated.

During the nine years he’d been retired, X would return to Taiwan for a vacation of two, three months, wanting to find himself a suitable companion, but he was, never successful.  It’d depressed him so.  He wanted to know, if there are things he can do, to make himself happier?

A My Advice

X had been merciful and kind, and is still paying for his wife’s lifestyle with his own retirement pension.  He’d needed to pay over $2 million N.T.s every year for his properties, cars, travels, and insurances too.

But, since they are still married, there’s the risk of getting caught cheating, and this makes it harder, to find a better companion.  Actually, with X’s finances, he could give HALF his assets to his estranged wife, as alimony; the two of them won’t be related in any way anymore.  She could have money to live off of, and you can then, start dating.

X should consult an attorney, or through making a negotiation with his own wife, to resolve this, give his wife a lump sum of alimony, and make sure she couldn’t track him down after they’re divorced, live your separate lives!

So, this, is the dilemma that a man was facing, he’s stuck, in a loveless marriage, with his wife, controlling EVERYTHING in his life, and surely, he’d felt, suffocated, and wanted out, but, he’s just, worrying too much about her, to the point, that he’d, let his own needs slide.

Forever Strangers

Forever strangers, that, is what, we’d, turned into, and, there’s NO EXIT sign on THIS particular “freeway” we’d, driven down…

Forever strangers, because of what you did to me, and, it’s UP to ME (not “us”, or you, for that matter!), to decide on which way life’ll be turning for me now.

Forever strangers, I’m okay with that, besides, I’d lived, amongst so many god DAMN related-by-blood strangers my whole life, it’d become, a “norm” for me, I suppose…

Forever strangers, you will, NEVER be close to me again (in any and ALL senses!!!), and, I will, keep on, refusing, to be with STUPID, because, for an INTELLIGENT woman like me, I KNOW what I want, and, it’s not a familiar stranger like you at all!

Forever strangers, this, is where we will, forever live, in relation to each other now, I’d, let you go, let go, of ALL those god DAMN feelings I had for you already, and, it’d taken me, long enough that’s for sure………