Knife, a Poem

As a marriage breaks, and the man leaves behind his now ex-wife, and his son, translated…

As He Shut the Door

I Was Slicing Up Onions

With Only a-Fourth Left to Do

I’d Not Let Go of the Knife

Turned the Corner

His Face Would be

what his leaving felt like…photo found online

Sliced Off

I’d Tried to

Flash My Regular Smile

Reminded Him, that Breaking Up

Is Like that

Turned My Head Back

I’d, Chopped up the Onion

And Continued Ignoring

The Knife Called “Goodbye”

My Son was Too Young

Even as He Was Held, at Knife Point

He’d Not, Known How to React

He’d, Grabbed a Handful of Onions

Stuffed it into His Mouth

查看來源圖片a young child’s response to his parents’ divorce, art found online

He’d, Ignored the Piece

He’d, Dropped onto the Floor

I’d, Envied How He’d

Not Let Go of His Days

Nor Look Upon, Toward the Backside of

His Father Leaving Us

How Sharp the Shadows Had Become

So, this is what divorce felt like, like that knife you’re using, to chop up the onions, and you’d cried, becaue of how the onion had, made your eyes watery, while your young son was still, not yet aware of what your divorce means…not knowing, how your divorce is already, having an unknown effect on his life.


Kisses, Packed Away…

Kisses, packed away, inside that, torn up, old cardboard box, just like those, old, worn out clothes we don’t need, can’t fit in, anymore…

Kisses, packed away, but why? I got NO need, to keep ‘em ‘round my life! Guess, it’s, to serve as a reminder, of this love we once to care for so very much, but now that’s all gone, so, where, does that leave me, and, what am I supposed to do, with all these kisses, packed away?

查看來源圖片all those, bitter sweet memories…photo from online…

Kisses, packed away, just toss them out for good this time, and, let’s not, go over that again, shall we? I don’t want to talk anymore, been talking to the WALLS, for so many years, and finally, I’m, tired of hearing NOTHING more than just, the echoes of my own voice!

Kisses, packed away, and I’m done, packing up, ALL these memories, the good, the bad, AS well as the U-G-L-Y! They’re all, part of my long-gone past now, and I got me, a brand new, a brighter future up ahead, and so, I’m gone, for good this time…

查看來源圖片yeah, just take all of these, and, SHOVE ’em all, into taht cardboard box…picture from online…

Kisses, packed away, I’d, left you that small box, of all those, hot-lipped kisses you’d given to me, that’s, burned up my skin, and now, you will be, savoring them, wondering, where did I go wrong? And, how can I live without you? Not my problem, ‘cuz I’d, already, WORKED those TWO problems out on my own, with MY self!!!

Threading Your Lies, into the Tapestries of Our Lives…

This is, what, you’d, been doing, since BEFORE we were, ever wed (uh yeah, remember that film from, long, long ago: I Me Wed???). Threading your lies, into the tapestries of our lives, I’d, consented to this, so, I’d, admit to MY part of my own share, of WRONGDOING!

Threading your lies, into the tapestries of our lives, you’d done that, repeatedly, and, because there was still love I’d, felt for you from before, I just kept, allowing you, to get your ways with me, again, and again, and again.

But, I’d become, too, god DAMN tired, of all of this BULLSHIT now! I know I’m, economically, capable, without your hard-earned dollars, that you’d, brought home to me, to keep this, god DAMN household, intact! I know I got what it takes, to SURVIVE, out, in the REAL world here!

Threading your lies, into the tapestries of our lives, can’t understand, that it’d taken me, this long, to finally see it! Perhaps, all those years of endless suffering I’d endured at your mercy had a purpose, but what? It’d not, revealed itself, to me yet. Threading your lies, into the tapestries of our lives, and now, my child is slowly, growing up, and, seeing how he is, becoming, more and more like his father by the day, it’d, alarmed me, it’d, made me, decide, to walk out on you.

For I shall NEVER, allow your FUCKED up behaviors (cheating, lying, and everything ELSE???), to rule over MY life, and I will STOP your influences, on our sons’ impressionable minds, because I don’t want them, to grow up, into LOSERS like you, and besides, I’m NEVER going to, SPOIL my sons rotten, the way YOUR mother had, done you!!!


Your Promise, on My Right Hand…

Your promise, on my right hand, the gold on the band had, lost, its lusters, day by day, through the, wear and tear of this marriage already…

Your promise, on my right hand, does it, still, stand? I mean, do you love me, like you used to, like how we were, at the very start? For some reasons, I don’t, feel as much of the passions you used to hold for me anymore for some reasons.

like this???  Photo from online…taking off her wedding band 的圖片結果

Your promise, on my right hand, why do I still keep your promise on my right hand? You’d, already, ABANDONED my promise on your left hand, so maybe, it’s time, I’d, set myself free too??? Your promise, on my right hand, I shouldn’t, allow it, to weigh me or tie me down, but, I do………

Your promise, on my right hand, I don’t want it, and, slowly, that promise you’d, broken, became, nothing BUT a piece of DECORATION, a piece, of COLD jewelry on my right hand, and I’m slowly, realizing, that I shouldn’t, throw away a piece of GOLD jewelry (you DO realize, how much gold are going for these days, right???), just because the promises you made to love me eternally, broke!

and here’s, that long-awaited, DIVORCE ceremony…photo from online still…

divorce ceremony 的圖片結果and in, 3, 2, 1…

Burned Out the Love…

That’s it! We’d, burned it out………

Burned out the love, not because we’d, needed the light from it, not because we were, cold, freezing ourselves to death, but just because!

Burned out the love, who knew, that love’s, spent, so easily, huh? I would’ve, never guessed, how fast love can “go” (don’t ask “where”!), how quickly, it’d, turned to ashes…

Burned out the love, it’s, too late, and love is still NO phoenix, it won’t, rise up, and live again, oh no, it’d, just, stayed, dead, and there’s, nothing that you, or I, can do ‘bout that now, is there? Nope!

查看來源圖片a picture of the before and the after, from online…

Burned out the love, why? Because we can, because that, is what, we’re, supposed to do, to experiment with it, to see, how far we can push it, until it finally, CRACKED. Burned out the love, and, there’s, nothing but ashes and dusts that remained, of this, burned up love of ours, and so, I’d, collected my half (as that, is how everything got divided? Right down the middle???), and you can have the rest of the remaining half, to go with that steak, salted with your own tears…………

Burned out the love, so? I got more love than you’ll ever know, and, know the best thing about my love is? It NEVER gets used up, I will always, have MORE than enough love to get by! As for you? Do I, really care? Yeah, uh, you WISH!

Note: this is still just me, throwing things out at this wall of echo, meaning that it’s not directed toward anybody out there, ‘k??? Yeah, uh-huh!

The Last Trip We Took Together…

That last trip we took together, do you remember it? Of course N-O-T! You’d, left us behind a long, long, long time ago. That last trip we took together, it was, our last draw, the final attempt, to save our marriage, and yet, I’d, realized, for certain, that we shouldn’t, stay married together, and, that last trip we took together, turned out, to be the beginning of our divorce!

That last trip we took together, I can vaguely recall the scenes, we went to this beautiful place (that much I know!!!), we thought that this was what our marriage needed, a vacation for just the two of us, without our parents, our relatives or friends, and children, just us two, to sort things through…

like this???  Photo from online…

And yet, that last trip, was like that first domino that led to the tumbling down of the rest of the lined-up straight dominoes! That last trip we took together, what happened to us? Why did we, fall out of love? I mean, our love was, supposed to last for a lifetime, wasn’t it? So, how come it didn’t, huh???

That last trip we took together, well, glad that was over, huh? ‘Cuz I’m no longer married to you, and, I’d never been, happier in my life, on that very last day of this vacation for two, which led to my life of one!!!

A Porcelain Named “Marriage”

We’d received that wedding present (yup, unfortunately, we still got H-I-T-C-H-E-D here!!!) from, uh, who was it from again???  Doesn’t matter anyways…

It was a wedding day present, and yeah, she just, sat inside that display case it got delivered to us in, looking so pretty, so white-faced, so delicate too, and because “she” was so delicate, so untouched, so clean-looking, we’d decided, to keep this porcelain we came to name “marriage” inside that display case, in the shelves.

the “before” photo…from online…porcelain doll 的圖片結果

Then, as the kids came one by one (yup, we’d reproduced like them rabbits too, don’t you know!!!), and I had one too many abortions to count, as those little ones, came too quickly!

And, as the kids started getting older, they’d started, experiencing the world through their senses (as all kids should be allowed to???), and one day, one of those RUGRATS got her hands, into that display case, where “marriage”, the porcelain lay in her dormancy, and, that daughter of ours, took her out, and, because she still hadn’t mastered her hand-eye coordination completely yet, oopsy, “Marriage”, the porcelain dropped, and shattered!

I ran into the living room, as soon as “Marriage” HIT the floor, “she” made that huge raucous (fine, maybe NOT loud, but I’d, still heard “her” shatter…), and, I told our daughter, to GET away, ‘cuz I didn’t want her to step on the shattered pieces and cut herself, and, as I pushed her aside, and started sweeping up the mess, our daughter started crying…

And I had to, go and calm my baby girl down, told her it was okay, that marriage is now, shattered, and that I knew she didn’t mean to break “her”, that it wasn’t, her fault, but heaven knows how much she’d blamed herself, and she’s, so very young too!

and here’s the “after” photo, still from online…a shattered porcelain doll 的圖片結果

After “marriage” the porcelain shattered into god only KNOWS how many pieces, I’d, replaced “her”, with a ragdoll named DIVORCE, and, after I gained SOLE custody (‘cuz you are NOWHERE fitting as a father to my daughter!), I’d allowed my daughter, to drag, DIVORCE, the ragdoll everywhere with her………

And yeah, someone D-I-E in this tale: it’s that STUPID porcelain named “marriage”!