Experience it Yourselves

Changes in one’s attitude, brought on by the many ups and downs of life, translated…

Is marriage a good thing?  I’m thinking, that it’s different based off of everybody’s experiences, and the answer, only one knows.

A couple of years ago, an old friend of mine talked about the ups and downs of her marriage, said that if she could have it to do all over again, she would’ve have chosen to get married; and, a short while ago, she’d talked to me about her daughter, and how well her and the members of her family are getting along, with that look of bliss all over her face.

I’d smiled and asked, didn’t you regret getting married from before?  She’d become stunned, then asked me, “Did I say that?  But, if you ask me that same question now, all I can say, that you need to experience it yourself to find out.”

Like drinking a cup of water, only you would know if it’s hot or cold; the life in marriage, with a mixture of sentiments.  Or maybe, marriage is not good or bad, it all depends, on how you see it as.

And that, is the importance of attitude, perhaps, when this friend came to the writer from before, her child was acting up, and she and her husband had an argument, that, was why she first stated, that marriage wasn’t the right choice for her, but, as the time passes, she and her family got along better, and, she’d started thinking, that being married, and having children is actually, a good thing.  This just showed, how unless you’d, experienced things from top to bottom, you can’t jump to conclusion on if something is good or bad for you.  You must give it enough time for life, to run its course…

Advertisements

Lashing Out, Then In…

The first part of this is, EXHILIARATING, I tell ya!!! While the second, quite uncomfortable…

Lashing out, then in, this, is a process, of experiencing anger, because as something awful happens to us, the first thing that comes into our minds are: I need to blame someone, to lessen the strains on myself, so I don’t feel that heavy a burden on me!

taking it out on someone else…NOT my photo…

And so, we lash out, at someone, who may, or may not be remotely, related to our bouts of anger, and, maybe, the individual was just in our “neighborhood”, and we’d, thrown that huge ATOMIC BOMB on her/him…

Lashing out, then in, that, is how we’re, “trained” to cope with our negative emotions. We’d looked outward first, to see, WHAT the HELL was it, that’s, caused us to get so furious? Is it how we’d been, mistreated by someone? How we’d come home, after a long-hard day’s work, and no one in our families gives the REMOTEST kind of shit? Do we feel, neglected?

what, do you see now???  Not my photointrospection 的圖片結果

Then, as the day quieted down, there’s, NOT that much noises, competing for our attention anymore. That, is when we can, finally, sit quietly, and listen, to what’s happened thus far in our days, and, our interpretations may be a whole lot different from before…

More than One Truths…

Unlike the undeniable truths of sun rises in the east, sets in the west, along with other, scientifically proven FACTS, there are, usually, more than one truths.

More than one truths, because there are, so many, perspectives to consider, and until we can, read through, and see EVERY single side, we won’t be able to, make a sound decision on the matter! More than one truths, that just, confuses things, I mean, why can’t the world just be black OR white, without the GRAY areas, huh???

More than one truths, there will, always BE, and, what you deemed to be truth (i.e. what happened to you when you were growing up), others may deny it, and, when they denied the truths about you, there’s, NOTHING you can do, because EVERYBODY is entitled to her/his own opinion, and we should all, RESPECT that!

More than one truths, unless, it’s, a SCIENTIFICALLY, empirically TESTED F-A-C-T, you will be, bombarded with things every single day, which demands that you JUDGE them, and, you only have, the past experiences, to guide you………

More than One Truths…

Unlike the undeniable truths of sun rises in the east, sets in the west, along with other, scientifically proven FACTS, there are, usually, more than one truths.

More than one truths, because there are, so many, perspectives to consider, and until we can, read through, and see EVERY single side, we won’t be able to, make a sound decision on the matter! More than one truths, that just, confuses things, I mean, why can’t the world just be black OR white, without the GRAY areas, huh???

More than one truths, there will, always BE, and, what you deemed to be truth (i.e. what happened to you when you were growing up), others may deny it, and, when they denied the truths about you, there’s, NOTHING you can do, because EVERYBODY is entitled to her/his own opinion, and we should all, RESPECT that!

More than one truths, unless, it’s, a SCIENTIFICALLY, empirically TESTED F-A-C-T, you will be, bombarded with things every single day, which demands that you JUDGE them, and, you only have, the past experiences, to guide you………

My Extraterrestrial Husband

Things that he can do, that makes you angry, and yet, you’d still, learned, to just, laugh it off, because, what ELSE can you do, right??? Translated…

I have this, love-hate relationship with my husband, because he’d trained me, into this fierce woman who only needed to use a glare, to make my point across, from this gentle woman I once was, whom everybody commended on being too gentle and kind.

On the day I had my child, I felt the labor pains coming, and, I’d, waken him up, told him to call in sick to the office, then, rushed to shower, so I can get to the hospitals. I don’t know if he’s still half-asleep, or if he was in shock, or if he’d wanted to experience the trials of NOT being able to bath and shower for the month after birth, he’d asked me, if he’d also, needed, to get a quick shower in too?

yup, that’s, what it looks like all right…not my picture…

Not only did his words shock me, he also had extraterrestrial powers too. One day I was feeding my son, half an hour later, there was still, two-thirds of his food left, I was rushing somewhere, and so, I’d asked him to continue feeding; and, I was in the kitchens doing the dishes, and, three minutes in, he’d delivered that empty bowl to the sink. I’d asked him in awe, how he was able to manage getting my son to finish his meal so soon? He’d replied, “I ate it up!” How come, we were NEVER on the same page of logic? Finally, I’d gotten half a day’s worth of break, I’d, snuck in some Korean soap time, he’d run to me and asked me where the Saran wrap was? I’d told him, it’s in the drawers in the kitchen, he’d gone into the kitchen, for a very long time, couldn’t find it, he’d come and asked me again, I’d answered him again, he’d tried finding it again, still, couldn’t………now, we’re both, getting furious, he said, “Why couldn’t you just help me look?” I’d rebutte4d, “So simple, why couldn’t you manage it on your own?” In the end, I’d, rammed into the kitchens, holy, the doors of the cabinets that required both hands were all opened, but, the drawers that only required the simply one-handed pull, weren’t………are you, so stupid you can’t tell a drawer from a cabinet? Or, is the alien having, difficulties, comprehending my EARTH language?

Although my husband’s series of outrageous actions still left me dumbfounded, but, the laughter has, never vanished from my house, because I’d gotten to know my mother’s teachings on how to get along with him: if I stayed angry, a day passes, if I am happy, a day also passes, so long as nothing gets in between us.

that is what this woman wanted to do TO her husband, not my photograph here…

So, this is a story of how a woman was compelled to DUMB things down for her husband, and, sometimes, it can get, frustrating, because it’s like you’re talking to the W-A-L-L, I mean, at least, when you tell the dog “Sit”, “Stay”, they’d do it, but, with those males, well, it doesn’t work that way………

I am Santa at My House

It took someone from outside, of this woman’s physical body, to point it out to her that what she does, is valued, and important, translated…

I had too much spare time on my hands, and so, I’d started, flipping through my Facebook account, and I’d found, that a younger schoolmate whom I’d helped trained at the office is now, a department manager of a well-known American tech company, I was, feeling a mixtures of emotions then, other than being in awe at her outstanding work performances, I’d started, feeling sorry for myself too.

From before when I’d passed the examinations and entered into my work, led the younger generations, and now, they’d all become high-up managers, and now, I’m only, a professional “manager of family”. I’d felt, that if I’d not been stubborn, with my mind set on “being there for my son as he grows up all the way”, exited the workforce, I’d probably be, a professional manager of the human resources department, I suppose!

a mom dressed up as Santa here…not my photo…

At supper, I’d shared with my son, my mixtures of feelings, my son told me, “What’s so amazing about the head of HR? Aren’t you, working in an even MORE stressful and higher UP position now?” “Says who? I’m only a yellow-faced housewife who take care of the younger and older men in my life.”, I’d not felt the gentle caring and concerns shown to me by my son, I’d replied to him, depressed, because the distance between “the head of HR” and “housewife” was filling up my mind.

“Hey, you’re the Santa at our house! What bigger job IS there?”, my son raised the pitch of his voice and continued.

Because I’d wanted my son to keep his beliefs of Santa alive, so, I’d never owned up to who put the gifts by the head of his bed; although being old enough, he’d already, known who that gift was from, but, every year, we’d still, pretended that Santa does still, exist, and, managed to, deliver the presents secretly to him, that, was the secret that the two of us, mother and son shared.

Hearing my son tell of the “job” I’d done, and given me affirmations, I’d not felt, the least bit surprised, but, I was, moved. I’d, settled myself down, thought hard, on my son’s words, hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, compared to “Head of HR”, if “Santa” was in my work histories, it would be, even cooler!

and this, is what, we, modern day women are, faced with from day to day, not my photo here.

So, this, is the thoughts of a stay-at-home mother and a housewife, she’d quit her job, to give to her family, and because she no longer brought in a paycheck, she’d, belittled her own work, and it took her son, pointing it out to her, that what she’s doing, is WAY more important, and a HELL of a lot harder, than being the HR manager at an office, for her, to realize, that she is, contributing to the world, even though, she’s, no longer, working for pay anymore!

I Hope My Daughter Gets to Live Out Her Own Dreams

Finally, the child decided, that enough IT enough, and lets go of her own mother’s expectations of her, translated…

After my daughter graduated from university, she’d stayed in the university, worked as an executive assistant, then, she’d followed my advice, and started studying for the national examinations; and still, after so many years of hard work, she’d not gotten a high enough score.

This year, as the test scores were, posted out, she’d finally made up her mind, to NOT take the examinations again, to NOT waste any of her parents’ money and her precious youth away. Being beaten down, she’d told me, with this seriousness, “Mom, I’m just, not good at studying, I’d worked so very hard, and, it still didn’t work, I don’t want to do it anymore, please, allow me to find my own path now!”

just follow the roadsigns…not my photo

Seeing how my daughter was tearing up, and, spoken those words aloud bravely, right at the moment, I felt like there were, knives, stabbing at my heart, and I can’t manage a word of encouragement to her, I can only, nod to agree with her ways.

At this time, as a mother, I can only, give her my blessings, and hoped, that she will find her own paths in life, I’m more than positive, that she will!

So, this time, the mother FINALLY got it, and allowed her child, to fly on her own, because the daughter was merely taking the exams for the mother’s sake, and she knew that her mother wanted the best for her, but, she just, couldn’t take the exams and get a high enough grade, which was why she’d decided, to find her own path in life, instead of keep walking down this road, that others had, planned out for her, and it takes a LOT of bravery to do so.

a young woman, chasing her own dreams, not my photograph…