A Hottie in School

It took this woman going home, to realize her own patterns of behavior, and now that she’d snapped out of the vicious cycle of her own pattern of behaviors, she will have, better relationship

As Yun Yeh entered into her freshman year at Hong Kong University, it’d caused a riot.  She majored in finances of the business school there, and almost ALL the male classmates couldn’t wait to set their eyes upon this beauty; an almond-shaped face, delicate features, natural red lips, and milky white complexion, at 5’5, she was very fit, and she’d often worn a light smile on her lips.  The second week she’d entered into the volunteer group to visit the nursing homes, as the news got out, everybody thought, she was, a kindhearted beauty, the best candidate for a girlfriend, and, there were, more men in the business school who became infatuated.

Every time she walked out of the lecture halls, there would be a handful of guys, following her around, some asked her to be in the extracurricular activity they were involved in, some asked her about the assignments, and, some who knew her started asking her out.  Yun Yeh said to them, in her mild matter, and, agreed to go out with them, and, letting them down gently.  In the second semester of her freshman year, she’d agreed to go out with two juniors to supper, one was a handsome classmate of the same majors, Ching, the other, a handsome rich boy, Lin, who majored in international business.  They’d started competing openly.  As Ching learned that Lin had professed his love to Yun Yeh, but she’d not told him yes or no, he’d asked her to the college up the hills in Hong Kong University and told her he loved her in the ancient style bridge, Yun Yeh smiled and nodded toward him.  And the very next day, there was, this extra eye catching couple around the campus.  But what fazed everybody was, in a short month-and-a-half, it was over between them.  She’d still smiled lightly, and he’d, carried his cool flair, worked out at the gym.  The two didn’t mention to anybody why they broke up, it’s just, the other males from the business department no longer fluttered around her any longer.

As Yun Yeh was in her second year, there were the guys in different majors who’d gone to see her a lot, a senior in the electrical engineer major pursued her hard, and she’d accepted, they’d become the pair to watch for around campus, but, in two months, it was, over.  She is, beautiful as she always is, dressed even more fashionably now, just that her smiles, no longer as deep.  In her third year, Yun Yeh got involved with a volunteer trip, the senior from the mathematics economics major from another school fell in love with her at first sight.  This time, she was, more careful, not walked together with him around campus, to cause a discussion by the onlookers.  They’d gone strolling at the parks a lot, then, to dinner.  That very first month was sweet, they’d met up two, three times a week, but after a month, he’d stopped, asking her out, and they broke up at the end too.  Now, Yun Yeh had, stopped smiling, and was often, lost in thought.  She thought, she’d hoped her boyfriend would call her before bedtime to talk, hoped that he could, set up the dates with care, this wasn’t asking too much.  A lot of the other female students asked this of their boyfriends too.  So, what was the problem, of her past, failed relationships?

Toward the end of her junior year, she’d finished taking her last exam in the morning, returned to her dorm, to pack up her things, and readied to head to Taiwan for a self-help trip with her roommates the next day for a week.  Suddenly, her cell phone sounded off, it was her younger cousin, calling from Changsha, in Hunan, said that her mother had a stroke and is hospitalized.  Yun Yeh started crying out.  He’d told her that it wasn’t serious, that it’s only a mild stroke from the reduced blood flowing into her mother’s brains, that she was getting out that afternoon so long as she goes to rehab for the months that follow, she’ll be all right.  Yun Yeh didn’t go to Taiwan, that very day, she’d flown back to Changsha.  On the airplanes, she couldn’t help but cry.  Her mother was her sole support for these last five years, her father died in her first year of high school, her father had a huge business, and left her mother and her with a huge sum of inheritance, and a life with no worries.  As her father passed, she was so sad, but this time, her mother only fell ill, and she’d felt that the skies were, falling, she’d, depended so much on her mother.  Last night, she’d just used video conference with her mother, and she’d told her what foods to watch out for when she goes to the night market in Shihlin, because the stand didn’t use fresh oils.

Yun Yeh walked out of the airport, didn’t see her cousin, but someone called out to her, it was her high school classmate, Li Yuan, he and her cousin both studied in the University of Hunan.  Li Yuan took her suitcases, smiled and said, “Your cousin told me to come because he couldn’t.”  His smile was so bright like the sun, a bit, burning.  “Stop wearing a sour face, your mom’s fine, she’d wanted to come with me to pick you up, I’d stopped her, and told her to rest up at home.”

As Yun Yeh got into Li Yuan’s car, he’d chimed, “You know how happy it makes me, to be able to pick you up?”, she’d felt this heat in his expressions and voice, suddenly, Yun Yeh realized, that it’s this sort of warmth that’s made her melt every single time, is she, going to, repeat the same cycles this time as well?  Li Yuan reached over, to help her with the seat belts.  She’d told him, “Thanks, I can manage.”  He’d nodded and smiled, didn’t mind, and that, was when she’d realized, that it wouldn’t hurt people, if she’d, turned them down.

Yun Yeh turned the locks on her doors, her mother walked out of the bedroom, she’d run over and hugged her mother tightly, her mother felt stunned, and surprised, that, was the very first time, her daughter had ever, hugged her.  Her daughter asked flustered, “Mom, how are you?”, the two of them sat on the love seat, Li Yuan sat down on the single.  Her mother held her hands, told, “I woke in the morn, felt my left side go numb, a bit dizzy on the left of my head, and so, I got on a taxi and went to the emergency rooms.  The doctor said it was only, a minor embolism, that the blood made another way around, it’s no big deal now, don’t worry about me, child.”  She’d wrapped her arms around Yun Yeh’s shoulders, “I’ll make you something to eat, spicy dumpling soup, Li Yuan, stay for it too!”

Shame started growing inside of Yun Yeh, she’d said in a muffled voice, “Mom, stop working so hard, be a fitting patient, I’ll go and steep some tea.”  She’d entered into the kitchen alone.  As the kettle was boiling, she’d understood suddenly, that her mother was that surge of warmth that wrapped around her, as she started dating, she’d, transferred this sort of mode of interaction, demanded that the guys she’d dated to pay attention to her, to care for her, she’s the one, who’d, turned herself into the kind of girl that every man disliked.  It’s time, she broke out of the pattern of behavior now, in the future, as she started dating again, she needed to, become, more independent.

So, it took this woman coming home, to visit her mother, to realize how she was, subconsciously carrying the expectations of how carefully her mother looked after her and imposing it onto the guys she was dating, and now, as she realized this, she is going to have a better chance, of having longer lasting relationships in life.

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Waking You Up with My Love Every Day

Wake up, sleepy heads!!!  Translated…

On their days off, my kids would always sleep in until noon, and, I’d suspected, if they all, inherited my dozing off genes—whenever there’s the opportunity to, we’d all fallen asleep, and, nothing can wake us up.

As for my “sleepiness”, I got that from my dad, and maybe, it’s because of how hard he’d worked during the workweek, every time the weekends rolled around, pops would not only get up late, and, after his lunch, he’d managed, to doze off until dusk, and, nothing (the phone ringing, the children playing loudly), or even, an earthquake, can wake him up.

the gentle touches of a father…photo from online

I don’t pale by comparison to my dad, the most trouble dad ever had was, waking me up for school in the morn.  Not only did he need to use all his limbs to pull me out of bed, and he’d had to, force me out of my bedroom, then, mission accomplished, otherwise, in a blink of an eye, I’d, fallen over, and fallen asleep once more.  In order, to get that one extra second of shuteye, and before bedtime, I’d finished up my homework, prepared my backpack for school in the morn, and put on my socks and uniform, so I can just, get up and go the next morn.

And, as I’d become a parent myself, naturally, it’d become, my duties, to wake my child up in the morn.  But I was lucky, to have, married a good man, he’d gotten up, at the alarm sounding off, and waken me up, then, went to get the kids.  My eldest was okay, but my younger one, seemed to have, gotten it from me, he wasn’t at all, cooperative.  This made me recalled, how hard my dad must’ve had it when I was younger?  I’d recalled, that my father always had enough patience, to make sure I get waken up, must’ve been trying on him.

time to get up, baby girl!  Not my photo…

Maybe, not wanting to get out of my bed in the morning was a way that I’d played coy, my way of, enjoying that special love from my father; and now, as I’d gone past midlife, I’d started, carrying this thought to my heart, I’d, come to realize it all too late.  I will, take advantage of our meals shared in the futures, to tell my dad who’s had that difficult look on his face, “It’d been trying on you, thank you, for waking me up every single day, dad!”

So, it wasn’t until this woman became a mom, did she realize, how hard it was, for her father, to get her out of bed in the morning, because she has one child who’s exactly like her, and, this made her appreciate the kind gestures of waking her up, of making sure she’s ready for school in the morning that her own dad had done in her younger years.

The Changes in Dad

Making an adjustment to one’s own beliefs, and making a change for the better, translated…

Dad’s been visiting the furniture shops a lot lately, turns out, he’d wanted to switch the double bed in his bedroom that he’d shared with mom into two single beds.  Sleeping separately from mom, was a huge breakthrough for him, who’s very traditional, and, it’d, surprised us all.

A few years ago when my dad started getting ill, mom started wanted to sleep separately, because both their qualities of sleep weren’t so well, and they’d needed the sleeping pills to help them sleep at night; and after my father fell ill, he’d become, emotionally unstable, would get up a lot in the middle of the nights, causing mom’s to sleep even worse.  And, fearing dad’s bad tempers, she’d, kept everything in.

In order to help mom out, I’d found an excuse, to shop for the drapes, to change up the settings of their bedrooms, hoping to make them both more comfortable, but, it didn’t help at all.  Perhaps, dad found my signal, that was why, he’d made this, unexpected decision; although mom said it wasn’t that big a deal, but, she’d looked, softer now.  The changes in dad, it’d made us realized, that he can, be a gentle man too.

So, the gestures of love of this man toward his wife, finally came, and, because the man realized, that he’d, kept his wife awake through the nights, and, that was what probably caused a lot of their fights, and, sleeping well is the key, to a healthy lifestyle, and so, this man made a change, to help improve the interactions between his wife and himself.

The Bliss from Knowing that You’re Cherished, on Filial Relations

Because you’re kind to me, and I shall, be kind to you in return, how peace is found, in this household, translated…

My mother-in-law’s feet ached for a long time now, but, she’d not liked going to the hospitals, would rather have the patches all over her feet, and limped around as she prepared the meals.  Since my father-in-law became bedridden, my mother-in-law had a much heavier burden to carry, causing her feet to start aching; after my father-in-law passed away, my mother-in-law started having troubles moving around and about.

And so, my mother-in-law left the cooking to my husband’s eldest brother who’d never been into the kitchen before, she’d sat by the doorway of the kitchen, and gave him step-by-step guidelines of how to cook, how to make the soups, fried the fish.  That day I’d gone back to my mother-in-law’s to visit, saw that she was not in a good shape, I’d, persuaded her, finally, to go to the hospitals with me, and, she’d started on the monthly treatment programs.  During which time, my husband’s eldest brother went from couldn’t differentiate between salt and sugar, and not knowing if the produces were cooked completely, to becoming, an excellent cook.

a mother and daughter-in-law so close, not my photograph…

Every time I’d visited my mother-in-law, she’d always had my husband’s eldest brother head to the markets to shop for our favorite produces, and wouldn’t let me help out in the kitchens, and had me sat beside her watching the Korean soaps, and discussed the storylines with her.

Seeing how unsettled I’d become, my eldest brother-in-law consoled with me, “You had a hard time, taking mom to the hospital already, I’m a great cook now, do have more foods.”  I’m more than grateful toward my eldest brother-in-law as well as my mother-in-law, for making me feel cherished.

So once again, this is how love IS reciprocated, this woman treated her mother-in-law, took care of like she was her own mother, and so, naturally, the mother-in-law reciprocated the kindness she felt from the woman, and treated her as if she were her own daughter too.

Spoiling

On the love that’s found, between a husband and a wife, the love that’s, passed down, from one generation to the next, translated…

My daughter told my husband, “You’d spoiled mom rotten!”, as my husband heard, he’d believed, that my daughter was, correct, and told me what his lover from a past life told him.  I’d opened up my LINE, and replied, “Yup, mommy IS spoiled rotten by dad all right; because mommy is WORTH the spoiling”.  Oh, how I’d hoped, that one day, my daughter will, find someone who’d, spoiled and cherished her so, and at the same time, she’ll become, someone, who’s worthy, of the man’s love as well.

So, this, is the innocent talks of a child, and, this is a man, who’d, cherished his own wife very much so, and, his wife hoped that her own daughter will someday, meet up with a man, who will, cherish her very much, just like her husband is currently loving her so much.

The Way Her Daughter-in-Law Kept the House Tidy

Between a mother and a daughter-in-law, translated…

As I was having afternoon tea with my friend, her cell phone started ringing, it was her in-law.

I’d heard her in-law said, “I just went to your place, my daughter gave me a lot of yams, fruits and vegetables, I’d asked if she needed to ask you first, she’d told me, that the kitchen was her territory, but I’d still felt I needed to tell you about it”.  My friend laughed loudly, said, “That’s right, as things entered into the kitchens, it’s all her territory, the relatives sent a ton of produces, and, I’d, given a lot away, so everybody can have some.”

I was so envious that my friend has a wonderful daughter-in-law, and great in-laws.  But my friend told me, “that’s because I’m a wonderful mother-in-law!”

She’d stopped for a bit, and told me she’d learned a lot from her daughter-in-law.  Her daughter-in-law is a full-time mom, originally, she’d become, very annoyed by the small things her daughter-in-law buys, but after a while, she’d realized, that her daughter-in-law has a way with things.

Her daughter-in-law bought a lot of storage bins, tidied the kitchen, the drawers, as well as the closets very neatly, it’d cost a bit more from the beginning, but, the storage units can be reused repeatedly, not a waste at all.  Especially how her daughter-in-law kept everything tidy inside the fridge, it’d, awed her, the meats and fishes in the freezer were separated neatly, and it’s easy to retrieve too.

Once after she went grocery shopping, she’d returned home, and copied her daughter-in-law’s methods of putting things up, but the next day, she’d found that the fish was, flattened out.  As her daughter-in-law saw, she’d taught her, that she needed to separate them into portions, place them flat, and when the fish gets frozen, then, stand them back up, then, that would, save up on the spaces needed.

like this, inside the fridge…photo from online…

Her grandson’s clothes, toys, her daughter-in-law had, bought online or rented, and even traded the items with her friends and relatives, not spending much money, but, with the varieties of items.

In the heat of the summers, after the family went to work, her daughter-in-law would take her grandson to the libraries or children’s center, to have some free air-conditioning, and exchange tips on childrearing with other parents too, and, it’d helped get her grandson into the habits of reading books, and, he could have other kids to play with too.

On the weekdays, her daughter-in-law ruled the household, but, as a wonderful mother-in-law, she’d naturally given her daughter-in-law the weekend off, and so, she’d cooked on the weekends, and from time to time, the whole family would head out to eat, everybody is happy.

My friend said with a heavy tone of voice, it’s hard, for the younger generations to buy a house, and, as the mothers-in-law lived with the daughters-in-law, they’d needed to, develop a method, to get along, the elders must not use their age to bully, and the younger generations’ newer beliefs may be better than ours, just like how it is with her daughter-in-law.

in the kitchens, very “crowded”, but doesn’t look too messy at all, does it???photo from online…

Seeing how satisfy my friend is, she surely, is wise.

So, the key to getting along well with the in-laws is boundaries, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law kept their boundaries, not crossing each other, not pushing each other, that was how they’re able to, get along so well, and, in children, the elders should just STEP aside and let the children raise their own young, after all, you already raised YOUR own young already…

Passing Through the Valleys of Life & Finally Tasting the Sweet Fruits of Her Labors

A woman who worked hard, to achieve her goals and dreams, translated…

Whatever You Do, Do it from the Heart

Yen-Hong Liao, this beautiful woman, with that flair about her, was from Chibi, Hubei, at the age of two, when she hadn’t learned to read yet, she’d started, acting out the stories in the pictures, and before school age, she’d told her mother she wanted to go to school, and followed her mother who’s a school instructor to class—as her mother taught the classes, Yen-Hong sat in the last row, on the high chairs, and, as the classes are off, she’d needed her mother to carry her down; after she started going to school officially, she’d become her mother’s student naturally, and, every time she’d answered the exam questions completely right, but, only received a ninety-nine for it, because either that her mother told her, “you didn’t write perfectly”, or that “you didn’t keep the test papers clean enough”.  Recalling, Yen-Hong realized, that in the pursuit of the perfect grade, she’d slowly, learned to be careful, which had, influenced her as she grew older.

圖/王嗚咪illustration from the papers…

She’d graduated out of business high school, at the age of nineteen, and started as a contractor, with the funding of 10,000RMB, started selling cigarettes, alcohol, and snacks, and worked hard, in the harsh cold weather, until her clothes became completely dampened with sweat.  She’d not minded the hardships, and when necessary, she’d stayed up through the nights, or camped out in the truck, and finally, she’d turned her losses into profits, and made everybody looked at her differently.

Her parents felt awful, that their daughter was working so very hard, in 2000, the whole family moved to Shenzhen.  And, love came too, she’d met Hua from Taiwan very shortly after the move, Hua fell in love at first sight with Yen-Hong.  And because her parents were, arguing incessantly over money, she saw that Hua was sunny in temperament, very quick to react, fluent in Japanese, with good work abilities, and shoulders she can, rely on, she’d decided to marry Hua.  In 2002, they were wed, and in 2003, Yen-Hong moved to Taiwan.

The pressures from childrearing made Yen-Hong have postpartum depression, without the emotional supports from her own next-of-kin, when it got very serious, she’d thought about killing herself, with her crying child, but thankfully, she’d, made it through.  And, she’d finally seen the light, getting along with that traditional mother-in-law who was, raised by the traditional Chinese beliefs.  Back then, her mother-in-law was overcome with diabetes, and became incontinent because of her condition, fell into comatose, at first, Yen-Hong unwillingly looked after her, until one day, she’d found a verse in the “Holy Bible” that stated, “Whatever you do, do with from the heart, like for the Lord, not for the people.”, she’d gained a sudden understanding.  She’d said, “Doing it for people, we’d complain, but doing it for the Lord, the rewards shall come to us from heaven.”  Later, she’d fired the nurse’s aide, and took care of her mother-in-law personally, she’d had no complaints, having to clean up the soiled clothes of her mother-in-law’s, the two of them became close like mother and daughter.  Before her mother-in-law passed, she’d told her, “You are really a nice girl, I will put you in my will.”

After a Year’s Work, Fulfilled Through the Hardships

In June of 2014, after everybody’s encouragements, Yen-Hong signed up for a pageant before the deadline, on the day of the finals, she’d gotten a serious cold, but, she’d still won the first place trophy for “International Arts & Culture Ambassador”, and received two extra awards, “the Best Talent”, “the Most Photogenic”.

After she was selected for the first place of cultural ambassador, she’d gotten invitations from all around, Yen-Hong felt her own shortcomings, decided to enter into college.  After preparing for six months, working hard in her studies and training, in 2016, she got into the Chinese Opera department of the National Taiwanese Theatrical University.  Because she wasn’t from the major, Yen-Hong spent more than ten times the energy and time, to get herself caught up with the rest of the classes, and, as the year went by, she’d felt, fulfilled.

She’d always told me, “Learning is addictive.”  Hoped, that after she gets her degree, she’ll be able to, dedicate herself, to give back to the community, and help more people with her performances of Chinese traditional opera.

Hua worked yearlong in Dong-Wan, China, and Yen-Hong is all alone in Taiwan, raising her son and daughter, in order to not cause her children to be discriminated against, she’d entered into the parents’ volunteering committee, volunteered as a story-telling mom, performed the shows.  In the time she’d accompanied her own children, she’d not gotten the accolades from the rest of the students in her children’s classes, but also, the respects from other parents as well; more importantly, this had helped trained her as a public speaker.

She is however, NOT the only one who’s giving to this family, Hua felt bad about how hard Yen-Hong works, he’d made a trip back every single month, and used his actions, to show support for his own wife.  She’d just had her 15th anniversary wedding photos with the family, Yen-Hong looked at the pictures sweetly said, “I’d come here many years ago, and I’d, fallen deeply in love with the people, the things, the culture here, and, I’d carried that mindset of learning, that spirit of giving to the community continually.  And now, I’m finally, savoring, the sweet fruits of my own labor.”

So, this woman came here all alone, for love, and, because of her never-giving up nature, always striving for excellence mindset, she’d, made it to the top of her own life, with a husband who loved her dearly, and children who are, well-behaved too, what more, can a woman ask for???