As the Thoughts of Goodbye Left My Mind…

I’m still, hung up, on our goodbyes, but, as I took that drive, down to the coastlines, the wind in my hair, it’d, taken away the thoughts…

As the thoughts of goodbye left my mind, I felt them, sticking to my mind, as I’d, pried them out one by one, they’d all, refused, to go!  As the thoughts of goodbye left my mind, I don’t know what I’ll do without them.  I’d, always lived, with the thoughts of goodbye on my mind, and, it’s, NOTHING easy, for something that’s so, stubbornly STUCK, to get wiped from my mind.

not my photo…

As the thoughts of goodbye left my mind, I can’t help, but wonder, why were they were in the first place?  As the thoughts of goodbye left my mind, there would be, NO more of that goodbye left, inside that shot glass, after THIS round…………

As the thought of goodbye left my mind, well, they’re, gone now!  And, they ain’t, NEVER comin’ back, just like I’m, NEVER comin’ back, from leaving you behind!

 

 

 

 

Another Lie Out of You

That’s IT!  I’d, HAD it with your L-I-E-S!

Another lie out of you, I will NEVER believe, I’d believed you, for too god DAMN long (at the expenses of ME!) already, and, it’s time, that I KNOCKED myself, OUT of this high-chair that I’d, sat in, for all these years on end.

yup, it’s, exactly like that!  Not my photo.

Another lie out of you, how long, can you, keep this up?  I’d, wanted to test that “theory” of mine, which was why, I hadn’t, BUSTED your stories Y-E-T?  And, I just, keep on, waiting for the day, you finally, TOLD me the truth, and yet, you just, keep on assuming (which makes you into???  Yeah, uh, we should ALL get THAT by now, shouldn’t we?) that I don’t know…

Another lie out of you, I won’t have it, I’m already, checked out, auf wiedersehen, adios, adieu, addio, sayonara, do svidaniya, au revoir, see ya, wouldn’t wanna BE ya! 

There will, NEVER be, another L-I-E out of you, because, you don’t exist in MY god DAMN world, and I still reside here, in this, big, ol’ world of mine, with me, myself, and I, and the “three of us”, are still, very much in L-O-V-E, feel free to see this as a Narcissistic RELAPSE if you will………

like this…not my picture…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

One Step Closer, to Goodbye…

We’re, one step closer, to goodbye, and we don’t even know yet, that we’re, both, marching, STRAIGHT, into that end of our never-ending story…

One step closer, to goodbye, this, is the last thing we’d expected, as we set out together, hand-in-hand, after all, we were (past-tense???) once, long ago, so, very much in love, weren’t we?  What happened, huh?  One step closer, to goodbye, we’d, been, led on this, journey into the darkness, without any light, to show us the way, we could, only, fumble around in this love of ours, and heaven knows, how many times, we’d, stepped on one another’s toes, with those, steel shoes we were, wearing?

letting love go…not my artwork…

One step closer, to goodbye, that, is where we currently are, and, goodbye became, a definite, it seems, after all, we’d, gone from, strangers, to lovers, back, to strangers, again, in no more than just three short months’ time…

One step closer, to goodbye, let me just, save you the troubles, and sever off ALL these entangled ties, better sever ourselves from each other right now, than to let this entanglement last longer, dragging on, eternally, right???

hearts, separating 的圖片結果a tough to crack wall between these two hearts, not my artwork…

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Saved Memories

On a lost love, translated…

“Yup, I guess, we should, head out on the road for a bit.”

I took your hand, on the white sandy beach of the warmth of the winter, with the beach extending into the distance, I looked back over the footprints that led us to where we are, getting wiped away by the waves.  We’d gotten tired from walking, so we sat, shoulder-to-shoulder, and that location was just right, allowed us to soak our feet in, and not getting our clothes wet.

just like that, love, was, wiped clean…not my photograph…

Neither one of us spoke, with our fingers intertwining, that salted wind brushed against our faces, you’d touched my lips lightly, then, put your index finger into my mouth, as if, leaving that memory in your heart, but this romantic gesture became, this inerasable pain for me many years later, that photo, I’d still kept in my wallet, I’d wanted to, let go of the past, but, I’d still, chosen, to keep the memories, in the most important of places.

With you around, you’d become, my special tourist attraction; with you gone, it’d turned into, but a mere, unique memory that’s, saved, inside my pockets.

painting from online…

So here, although the love is gone, but the memory is still, very much alive, and, these two individuals were very much in love, they’d, shared many wonderful moments, and now, he’s left, with the memories of the wonderful past that continued, to haunt him, it’s, sad, truly…

Ready, to Move on, from the Love You’d, Given to Me

I’d, kept myself bound long enough here!  And now, I’m, ready, to move on, from the love you’d, given to me…

Ready, to move on, from the love you’d, given to me, and, it was, a heart-wrenching decision I’d, forced myself to make, because your memories still, haunt me, every single day and night, it’d become, too difficult, for me to live in this house we made our love in!

Ready, to move on, from the love you’d, given to me, how can I, just, leave EVERYTHING we used to share, used to love, so very much, all of it, those wonderful moments in life we’d, once shared, behind?  I must, if I’m, to keep going in my life, without you now…

Ready, to move on, from the love you’d, given to me, you’d left me, with enough of your love, for me, to carry on, all alone, on my own, without you by my side, and, who knows, maybe, with this love you’d, left for me, I’ll find enough strength, to love again, just not quite yet, not right now…

Ready, to move on, from the love you’d, given to me, this, is by no means, that I’m, forgetting all about you, love, it’s just, that after you’d gone (died???), it’d been, truly, difficult, for me, to fall asleep, on this empty bed we’d shared for over forty years in, and I’m ready, to have some company, someone with whom I can engage in meaningful conversations with like you and I used to do every single day.

 

 

 

 

Rekindling that Old Flame, and, There are, Suspicions…

Uh…is that, TROUBLE that I smell??? A Q&A, translated…

Q: I’d Recently Divorced, and He’d Fallen Ill, and, Our Shared Pasts Started, Coming Back to Us……….

Closing to age fifty, QQ, who’d divorced for about a decade, about fifteen days ago, went to a concert with a friend. Twenty minutes before the show started, they’d waited at the entrances, carrying on in casual conversations, and skimmed through the crowds; all of a sudden, a tall and slender man had, locked eyes with her from across the way, he’d stared at her, and, all of a sudden, QQ felt that electricity flowing between them, wasn’t that Tai, whom she almost married? But, he looked too thin, like something sliced him down, she was unsure. She’d shifted her gaze somewhere else, but that man walked toward her, and called out her nickname.

QQ lifted her head up, in order to keep her tears from falling down, she’d, tilted her head. “Can’t recognize me? It’s a wonder.” He was diagnosed with nasopharyngeal carcinoma, and in the past three, four years, he’d been, battling his cancer on and off, had several surgeries, and is still going to his scheduled hospital checkups. “Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh, I’d not known…and, how’s your wife?”, he’d nodded toward her, “You’d looked…than before”, before he’d finished his sentence, Tai was, called away, by a group of people of young and old.

She’d wasted the money on the good seats for that concert, because, other than Tai’s looks from before, nothing else registered into her mind. For the fifteen days that came after that, she’d become an insomniac, and, regretted how she’d not given him the chance to explain himself, and couldn’t let go of how he’d still, married that woman as his wife. QQ broke up with him, because she feared being dumped by him, how, can she let go?

A My Advice:

not my photograph…

That, is how life goes, either than a man leaves a woman, or a woman leaves a man; either that they’d parted in life, or in death. So many years had gone by, and going back to understand, if he’d cheated, or feeling regrets over how you couldn’t be more tolerant, it’s all, useless now. She’s divorced, he was diagnosed with cancer, life is truly, difficult, but, fate would give each of us our separate trials. Not everybody would have the chance, to bump into that old flame, just treat it like that old dress that doesn’t fit you any more, stashed, inside the bottommost drawer of your closets, still beautiful as ever, and serving the sole purpose, of making you nostalgic, nothing more. You still must, cast your eyes, toward your own future.

I smell TROUBLE, not my cartoon!

So, this, is on what-might-have-been, what-could-have been, and, all of that added up to, more and more regrets, and, if this woman doesn’t SNAP out of it, she will find herself, trapped by the past all over again, I can only imagine, how long it must’ve taken, for her, to get over this love of his, especially how she ALMOST married him, but, this late in the “games”, it’s best, that she just, let all of this, fall to gray…

That Last Note I’d Written to You…

Although it was, addressed to you, but, it was, for my benefit, mostly…

I’d needed a cadence, on that part of my life, with you being a major part of it, and, I’d written, so many, never-sent letters to you before, but this last one, it’s, somewhat, different. For as I wrote the words, I’d felt, absolutely, NOTHING, like you’d stopped, mattering to me now!

Time to get rid of ALL of these old memories here!  Not my photograph…

That last note I’d written to you, it was, for my benefit more than for yours, I suppose. As we’d, ended, on a sour note, and, you’d, vanished, disappeared, off of my radar, leaving me, heartbroken, but, I’d, worked, real hard, to put me back together, without the element of you in my life…

That last note I’d written to you, I’d placed, in an envelope, with the stamps, addresses written and everything, but, I’d, not sent it through the mail. Perhaps, I just, needed, to go through the processes, of feeling like, I’d, mailed this final letter to you, then, I’d, tossed that sealed envelope, into the pile of junk inside that box.

A Person Letting Go 的圖片結果setting Us” free…NOT my photograph…

That last note I’d written to you, I really had, poured out my heart, and, despite how I’d, worn my heart out on my sleeves, you’d, treated it, like a piece of trash, casted aside, hurt me once again!