Flustered

You broke me!…查看來源圖片like this???  Sketch found online…

From a blog in Chinese I’m a subscriber to, translated, by me…

On the Green Pastures

I’d, Lost My Self

During the Long & Winded Season of Rain

I’d, Allowed Myself Go

On a Night, Populated, by No Other

查看來源圖片hurt, doesn’t it???  Sketch found online…

Thought I Could, Forget………

But I’d Become, Red-Eyed

the Moment I’d, Met You

You’d, Walked Right Through Me

I Know I Should, Give Up

But, I Stood Still

in the Crossing

Staring, at Your Backside

And so, this, is how someone TORTURES oneself, the person your in love with no longer loves you, but you can’t, quite let him go yet, and, there’s, nothing you can do, but to just, wait, and cry, as hard and as frequently as you may need to, until one day, that person, no longer roused up any sort of an inkling of an emotion from you again, then, you’d, successfully, gotten over the person!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flustered

From a blog in Chinese I’m a subscriber to, translated, by me…

On the Green Pastures

I’d, Lost My Self

During the Long & Winded Season of Rain

I’d, Allowed Myself Go

On a Night, Populated, by No Other

Thought I Could, Forget………

But I’d Become, Red-Eyed

the Moment I’d, Met You

You’d, Walked Right Through Me

I Know I Should, Give Up

But, I Stood Still

in the Crossing

Staring, at Your Backside

And so, this, is how someone TORTURES oneself, the person your in love with no longer loves you, but you can’t, quite let him go yet, and, there’s, nothing you can do, but to just, wait, and cry, as hard and as frequently as you may need to, until one day, that person, no longer roused up any sort of an inkling of an emotion from you again, then, you’d, successfully, gotten over the person!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Maybe, It’s Time, We Said, “Goodbye”…

I’d, given it, a lot of thought, that maybe, it’s time, we said, “goodbye”…’cuz, we are, NOT good for each other, but, knowing that, is till can’t help but feel, that strong attraction toward you, and I don’t know, how to, turn it off!

Maybe, it’s time, we said, “goodbye”…before either one of us gets damaged completely, beyond repair? But, we can’t, we’re, too entangled, in body, mind, soul, and heart, to part, and as you, draw me in, I felt, very good, but at the same time, that sense of panic, arose!

Maybe it’s time, we said, “goodbye”…yeah, it’s, for the best, we weren’t, quite right for one another anyhow, and, staying together will only, cause more damage to both of us, and so, I have to be, the stronger one, to PULL the plugs while I still can.

Maybe, it’s time, we said, “goodbye”…staying together won’t do us any good! After all, I already, SAW into the future, and it ain’t, pretty one bit!!!

 

Two Movie Tickets…

There was, that movie we both wanted to go see, and, I took the liberty, to pre-order the tickets, and yet, I’d, never gone, to see it, with you!

Two movie tickets, they’d, become, yellowed through time, and, they’re, still there, inside that original envelope that they’d come in when I first bought them.

查看來源圖片like, these???  Image found online…

Two movie tickets, we’d, never gotten the opportunities, to go see that “must-see” movie for us both, remember how excited we once were, when it’d, finally come out, we’d, watched the previews on the T.V. commercials, and, saw the segments of it, as we’d, gone to see another movie, remember? And now, those two tickets became, a SORE sort of a reminder, of how easily, things, go to waste!

The two movie tickets, became metaphor of you, of me, it’d become, outdated, the movie had, gone off screen, having run for a couple of weeks, and, everybody who’d, wanted to see it, had already, seen it, save for the both of us…

Two movie tickets, that, was what our love was, reduced to, how odd, that something that was, once so precious, to you and I, can get reduced, to very, quickly, to something, that became, totally, outdated! Two movie tickets, that, is perhaps, what, our love, became: outdated, shown too many times that it’d, grown, old.

breaking up  的圖片結果the one, left behind…photo from online…

Two movie tickets, I still got ‘em here, saved, inside my wallet, don’t know why? Perhaps, to remind myself, to NEVER fall for someone like you again, who knows……………

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Familiar Backsides

What had stayed with you, after each and every one of your breakups, not those ex-boyfriends, but the members of their families who’d treated you well, translated…

Sometimes, I’d see that familiar backside of someone.

What’s meant by the “familiar backside” is that I’m often, reminded of those with whom I’d felt so close with. I’m the kind of person that once I’d broken up with someone, I’d stopped being friends with the person, and I’d often convinced myself, “Hmmmmmmmmmm, I don’t need him as my friend!”, and cut off all my contacts with the individual.

this is what you remember, when you think of your ex-boyfriends, their families…photo from online…

Before the Internet and the SmartPhones were developed, a person is representative of a phone number and an address, and it’s very easy to lose the contacts. But, this sort of a behavior that made me looked so unfeeling, it’s just my own laziness, didn’t want to keep repeating the same old ways, and giving myself the troubles. Not long thereafter, being forgetful as I, I’d stopped thinking of my exes, unless I see that familiar backside again on the streets.

It’s like I saw A, for a period of time, then, B for another. When I saw what seemed to be A’s backside, I’d not missed him especially, but I’d be reminded of his families. The ex-boyfriend I’d thought about a lot lately, his father was a chef, very good with seafoods. There wasn’t enough seafoods in my home, and I’d not gone to the Japanese restaurants a lot, and so, when I’d dated him, it’d, tapped into my glutton potential. Every time I’d gone to hang out at his home, I’d gotten to savor the fully prepped meals like I never had the chance of having at home; the roasted prawns that I recalled the most, perhaps, it’s because of that, I’d been labeled at someone who only selected the best shrimps to eat.

like this???  Photo from online…

My mother would from time to time, bring out a plate of prawns too but because I was lazy to strip the shells off, often, I’d only had two, to three, then, given up on eating it, and so the very first time I’d had the prawns at my ex’s, I’d felt, that it was, more than cost-beneficial, and his dad always bought the freshest, unlike how the shrimps my family bought, were the frozen and farm-raised variety, and so, every time I’d gone over to his house, I’d had a great time eating the prawns.

His parents saw how I’d become, so intoxicated with the seafoods that they’d made, they’d suggested that we go to the wharf and order up the freshly caught seafoods, and, I’d, tagged along several times too. His mother was a traditional housewife, she’d prepared the meals, to the levels of the New Year’s celebrations to offer to the guests, and, after the meals, there would be three plates of sliced up fruits, to help us with digestion too.

I’d often thought about his older sister too. There’s that sexist atmosphere at his home, a lot of things that I’d observed, I’d felt uneven for his older sister, felt that my ex was a spoiled brat. His older sister would carry on in conversation with me in private too, she’d talked trash about her younger brother to me, later, as we broke up, what made me feel the loss was my connection with his older sister, because she’d become, a friend to me.

Another ex I’d had also had an older sister. But the older sister stayed abroad to study, she was mysterious and cool, studied architecture in England for many years alone, from the fundamentals. There were Italian dictionary on her bookshelf, knew how to play the piano, and the viola too, she was the kind of a girl with the talents, that’s, distanced from the rest of the world, the kind of person I wanted to become. And the ex-boyfriend’s father is a successful businessman, but without the barbarisms, instead, he’d behaved more like a gentlemanly scholar. Back then, I’d started modeling to make the money to get myself abroad for my studies, he was the one who’d given me tips and pointers on investment, took us to get our own bank accounts, and taught us to buy the lowest costing mutual funds. His mother loved reading, and when we sat down for the meals, she’d often shared with us what books she’d read, his dad was mostly quiet, just sat and listened in silence, and would inquire his son about his plans for the future.

Seeing those familiar backsides, I’d started missing those elders. There are what’s gained and what’s lost in love, whether it be left behind, or the ones that decided to stay, recalling them now, it’s all about my interactions with other people’s parents and families, and I’d felt, that I was, cherished and loved.

Because you’d established that closeness with all your ex-boyfriends’ families, that is why what you now recall when you think of all your past relationships, are NOT the guys you’d dated, but their families, and perhaps, you’d lacked that closeness, that connection with your own family members, that is why, you now recall all your close relationships with all the members of your exes families…

Kisses, Packed Away…

Kisses, packed away, inside that, torn up, old cardboard box, just like those, old, worn out clothes we don’t need, can’t fit in, anymore…

Kisses, packed away, but why? I got NO need, to keep ‘em ‘round my life! Guess, it’s, to serve as a reminder, of this love we once to care for so very much, but now that’s all gone, so, where, does that leave me, and, what am I supposed to do, with all these kisses, packed away?

查看來源圖片all those, bitter sweet memories…photo from online…

Kisses, packed away, just toss them out for good this time, and, let’s not, go over that again, shall we? I don’t want to talk anymore, been talking to the WALLS, for so many years, and finally, I’m, tired of hearing NOTHING more than just, the echoes of my own voice!

Kisses, packed away, and I’m done, packing up, ALL these memories, the good, the bad, AS well as the U-G-L-Y! They’re all, part of my long-gone past now, and I got me, a brand new, a brighter future up ahead, and so, I’m gone, for good this time…

查看來源圖片yeah, just take all of these, and, SHOVE ’em all, into taht cardboard box…picture from online…

Kisses, packed away, I’d, left you that small box, of all those, hot-lipped kisses you’d given to me, that’s, burned up my skin, and now, you will be, savoring them, wondering, where did I go wrong? And, how can I live without you? Not my problem, ‘cuz I’d, already, WORKED those TWO problems out on my own, with MY self!!!

I Know You’re Quite Uncertain, But That’s Okay, a Poem

The only thing that’s certain here is, EVERYTHING G-O-E-S, away!!! Translated…

The Light’s Sure of the Fuses

The Fires, Certainly Hot

The Wind’s Certain of Hugs

The Flowers, Destined, to Wither

Loss

Certain of the Time

You

Certain of Me

So, this, is the certains of that inevitable goodbye, no matter how close the two of you are right now, everything will eventually, END, just like how the flowers will eventually, wither away, how the fires are certainly always and forever going to be, H-O-T, because everything WILL eventually, come to that E-N-D, as it’s all, supposed to.

 

 

 

 

Break-Up: a Blessing

At the end of love’s line, when love just, faded to gray, and it’s still, nobody’s fault, translated…

We’d chosen to break up suddenly, because we’d not wanted to drag this love of ours, into the brand new year, when love became like the ribs of chicken, rather than the two of us, guarding our separate loneliness, why not start to, embrace the freedoms of one. I’d started dating my ex since college, we’d gone through the storms of our youths together, this was the reason for why we couldn’t sever the love on the surfaces, but what was really keeping us hanging on to the love, was how much youth we’d, both invested.

I knew that he didn’t cheat, but as he’d spent more time on his cell phone games than with me, no longer was he willing to, look at me anymore, I’d come to understand, that he’d no longer felt passionate about this love we once had. What’s odd was, that I’d not felt too sad either. Could it be because I got so stressed out on the job, that I simply, couldn’t have the mind to bother with it, or the pressures from reality had caused me, to redefine what happiness is to myself? Or, maybe, it’s something crueler, these past years I’d grown up and been tried, it’d helped me bid farewell to the girl who thought love was all that mattered to her.

Only as I’d stared at my reflection in the mirrors, seeing my fading youth, would that thought of stubbornness persist, the magic mirror surely has a way, of making people look. I’d gone past age thirty now, and now, I’d, worked up the courage to break up, not just for the sake of letting go, but also, my way of bidding farewell to my youth, hoped, that I can, really march toward my fortieth, and have no more doubts on life itself.

And so, this man saw breaking up as a lesson of his own life, he’d needed to break up with someone whom he’d dated since college, and, that’s what usually happens, the two of you were together in college, and, as you both started working after college, you’d matured, into separate human beings, and finally realized, how far apart your values were from the very start, and thus, the two of you decided to, break up…