Flustered

You broke me!…查看來源圖片like this???  Sketch found online…

From a blog in Chinese I’m a subscriber to, translated, by me…

On the Green Pastures

I’d, Lost My Self

During the Long & Winded Season of Rain

I’d, Allowed Myself Go

On a Night, Populated, by No Other

查看來源圖片hurt, doesn’t it???  Sketch found online…

Thought I Could, Forget………

But I’d Become, Red-Eyed

the Moment I’d, Met You

You’d, Walked Right Through Me

I Know I Should, Give Up

But, I Stood Still

in the Crossing

Staring, at Your Backside

And so, this, is how someone TORTURES oneself, the person your in love with no longer loves you, but you can’t, quite let him go yet, and, there’s, nothing you can do, but to just, wait, and cry, as hard and as frequently as you may need to, until one day, that person, no longer roused up any sort of an inkling of an emotion from you again, then, you’d, successfully, gotten over the person!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flustered

From a blog in Chinese I’m a subscriber to, translated, by me…

On the Green Pastures

I’d, Lost My Self

During the Long & Winded Season of Rain

I’d, Allowed Myself Go

On a Night, Populated, by No Other

Thought I Could, Forget………

But I’d Become, Red-Eyed

the Moment I’d, Met You

You’d, Walked Right Through Me

I Know I Should, Give Up

But, I Stood Still

in the Crossing

Staring, at Your Backside

And so, this, is how someone TORTURES oneself, the person your in love with no longer loves you, but you can’t, quite let him go yet, and, there’s, nothing you can do, but to just, wait, and cry, as hard and as frequently as you may need to, until one day, that person, no longer roused up any sort of an inkling of an emotion from you again, then, you’d, successfully, gotten over the person!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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The Macaroons of My Childhood

How you came into being, and, what those childhood experiences meant to you right now, translated…

I was a captain, of the “Gourmet and Beauties Association” when I was a child.

My mother loved breads, and every time she passed by a bakery, she’d gone in to buy something, the breakfasts that we had were mostly, bread or cakes with milk. But, growing up, I’d, hated the breads, the pastries, I’d loved something with a stronger flavor, like McDonald’s, ice cream, chips; but, every time my mother took me to shop in the bakeries, I’d needed to, get that three-colored traditional cakes.

The best part about this cake was the chocolate sprinkles, but reason why I wanted it, wasn’t because of its taste, but because of the way it looked, it’s, very colorful! Back then, I’d, especially loved the foods with the bright colors, everything from my attire, to my foods, needed to be, colorful. (my favorite color back then, as I’d remembered, was pink, so I’d loved, the cotton candies of that color too!”

查看來源圖片remember all of these?  So, which one’s your favorite???  Photo from online…

As I ate the tri-colored cakes, I’d needed to, split the squares up with my hands and eat (but as I enjoyed the cotton candies, I’d needed to, go face in!) and as we’d bought the cakes, I’d, started eating on the way, then, get the cakes all over me, and that’s when mom would say, “I’m not getting it for you again.” Actually, I’d, forgotten what the cakes tasted like, they’re, so ordinary.

And when I wanted to reminisce, I’d, bought a piece, and, I’d always, waited until I arrived home, set it on a plate, then I was, able to, enjoy it. This cake, tasted just as I’d remembered it to, like that traditional tastes and the buttery tastes; not like the French pastries, not like the English scones, it was, the flavor of my mother’s favorite cakes—my mother loved sweets, but, refused to spend any money, and she’d loved buying that bag of “cake sides”. I’d loved it when I was a child, it’s just, I’d only, selected the chocolate flavored pieces. And, on this very day, I’d finally realized, so that was, what memory tasted like.

I worked in Beijing last week, on the very last day, I’d had, the classic lamb hotpot, and had, the traditional sesame baked pastries. Before I left, I’d had the restaurant pack twenty of those so I can take them back, plus a bag of rice crispy treats, and I’d, carried them back here, to my parents. For them, that traditional taste of the flour, was closest to their memories.

I’d asked my students, what their most memorable item of childhood was, I’d received a ton of names for the items, and, not one of them coincided with other students’. I’d looked on, and felt it was, interesting, there were, so many stories attached to these items, and I’d found suddenly, compared to the love stories, the childhood may be, even more colorful. Back when we were young, the very first time we got picked on (or the first time we’d picked on someone); the first time we were, betrayed by our best friends; first time we’d experienced loss…………all of these, small beans were, forced down our throats, and, at first, they may, get STUCK on their ways down, and, the more serious became, the shadows of our childhoods, and, it may take us, until we finally grow up, to sort through them.

all the “essentials”, covered here!  Photo from online…

“Remembering childhood” and “Remembering our pasts”, was totally different. Remembering the past to me, was like still hung up on the self at a period in my life, and those whom I couldn’t, quite let go yet. But remembering my childhood, was using dissociation, to really, look, at how I became, who I am today. My childhood is, unicolored, sometimes, a bit darker, sometimes, lighter. But, the details, as I’d, examined them closely, they were, all very, colorful.

Being so sensitive toward foods, it’s, caused by my elders. They’d never cared about my school performances, they’d not cared if I was in a bad mood, they only always asked me, “Did you eat yet?”

And so, the reason why you’re so insistent about food, probably has something to do with your family, because that was how they’d, shown care for you, asking if you’d eaten, and, somehow, you’d, internalized that, and, as you grew older, you’d, become, more intrigued with the items of food that reminded you of a time, when you felt cared for and loved by your families.

Taking Mom to See the Seas

So little, what mothers really wanted, such simple wishes, and yet, it’d, taken this long, for the woman, to finally live it! Translated…

My mother is a traditional woman from an agricultural background, in her mind, there’s only her husband and her children, she’d, worked hard for the sake of her family, she’d often told, that her biggest wish was that all of her children and grandchildren are healthy, and there’s, nothing she’d, wanted.

a photo from the trip they took together…from UDN.com…圖/劉秀芳(高雄三民)

For long, I kept thinking, that my mother had no other hobbies or interests, other than going back home, she’d, never been anywhere else, plus she couldn’t ride a scooter, didn’t know how to take the public transportation systems, her social circle, is only riding her bicycle to the marketplaces to shop around. And we’d believed that it’s her ordinary day-to-day living, never thought about bringing her someplace special.

One day I was sitting by her watching T.V. at home, the T.V. showed the beautiful shorelines, she’d stared at the screen for a very long time, then, asked me, “there’s water by the oceans, right?”, I’d asked her if she wanted to go? She’d nodded her head, timidly, said she’d always wanted to go see the oceans, but we’re, too busy, she’d not felt right, troubling us, and said, that her spirits would be lifted as she sees the oceans.

Ahhhhhhhhhh! This was that story from our schooling years of how mom loved the head of the fish, turns out, our beliefs were, completely, wrong. I’d already, contacted my eldest sister, this Mother’s Day, we’re, taking her to see the oceans, to fulfill her long-time wish, and, whenever we have the time, we’d, all take her to see the oceans now.

And because the past generations of women aren’t like us, so outspoken, they usually, kept what they wish for locked up deep inside their minds, and, every once in a while, they would, toss out these “hints”, hoping that those around them can catch it, and this time, this woman caught it, and, made her mother happy!

Let Me Take Your Pictures for You

查看來源圖片one taken, like this???  Photo found online…

Translated…

“Do you need me to take a photo of you?”, I’d asked my fellow travelers a lot. After I’d gone to war at work on the weekdays, I’d, enjoyed my single trip, packing in my cell phone, my camera, and my tripod, then, I’m, off.

I’d not liked the selfie rod, with the limited angles, but, using the tripod, it’d, given me a wider view; finding that location I want to stand at, put something there, set up the time, run to that spot and pose, click, then photo taken! And, I was even able to, take shots of me, leaping up in the air too, the only photo I couldn’t take of me alone, was the kind that is, draped in the mysteriousness, and I’d, needed someone to help me with these.

Looking at the cameras taking the selfies, just looking over at the display, then I’d know if I needed to reshoot, and sometimes, as passersby saw how I’m having so much fun, taking selfies, they’d even hollered aloud, “1, 2, 3”, or, “are the melons sweet”, and, made me crack up, but, I was able to, get that youthfulness of my self, looking so happy too.

And, as I’d wanted that mysteriousness in the shots, I’d, asked the passersby to help me focus my lens, and, as I’d found various people to do it, I would have breathtakingly beautiful photos too!

A lot of people are like me, enjoy traveling alone, but most would use the selfie rods, some people saw I was, fully equipped with everything I need, having a grand time, taking my own selfie, they’d come and inquired, “Can I be in it too?”, I’d be more than happy to oblige, one horizontally, one, vertically, one close up, one, in the distance, and if I’m not going anywhere in a short time, I’d, get the pictures to perfection for my “clients”.

And so, as I’d seen those trekkers, walking around with the selfie rods, I’d always gone up and asked them, “Do you need me to take a shot of you?”, seeing how radiantly the individuals smiled on, I’d feel, very blessed.

And so, this, is how although we can do things on our own, we would, prefer someone else’s help, because we are a social animal, and, thrive on social interactions, and, even IF we are able to do things by ourselves, on our own, we wouldn’t mind, having someone else to help us out, would we? Nope!

When I’m Home Alone

Finally, she has time to herself, because her husband and her son are both, working late, this is, a hard-to-come-by mini “vacation” all right, and she really needed the recharge too! Translated…

My husband’s on shift tonight, my son working overtime, there’s only me at home at night, it’s, such a rare opportunity, that I get to be, alone on my own.

查看來源圖片what we’re, in need of…photo from online…

Ordinarily, everybody’s there, I couldn’t have a breath to myself, I’d need to, get my apron on, and entered, into, yet another battlefield—the kitchen, to take over my husband’s not yet finished up supper, and I’d needed to, get myself so dirty, before I’m able to, sit down to eat, and, I’d turned into, a worm, after I’d done, busying, too spent.

Tonight, I’m the only one home, very leisure, I’d changed into my relaxation outfit, I’ll get some snack, to keep the feelings of hunger away, I suppose! Then, sort through the newspapers, see what’s happened today. After reading the papers, I’d, opened up the fridge, to see what there is for me to eat, heated the plates up, an easy supper.

It’s really easy, just me, no need to, go out of my way, I can also, slow my own paces down, at this time, I have the opportunities, to finish everything slow, this was, such, an extravagance, for a working woman! After I’m full, I’ll, watch a few episodes of Korean soap, and after the soaps, my husband, my son should be, home, and, I shall, turn back to Cinderella, from a princess then.

here’s a woman, relaxing…photo from online…查看來源圖片pampering herself, because she EARNED it!!!  Image from online…

Even though life is like so, I’d already, gotten, recharged, and my fatigue, taken away by half, and I have, more energies, to embrace all the challenges that come towards me then. I love being at home alone, only during this period of time, would I feel, that I’m my own person. Turns out, spending time alone, slowing my own paces down, is the best sort of a gift for a career woman.

And so, this showed, how hard we women (yeah, I’m still one!!!) work, in, and OUT of our homes, unlike how you LOSERS (as that is what you all are!!!) can just, kick off your dress shoes, start turning into a POTATO on the couch after you come home from work, we women are still running, running, running NONSTOP, and when our husbands (yeah right, as if I got one??? GET REAL here!!!) and our young are away, we get the spare time to OURSELVES…

The Mangroves at Zhuwei, a Poem

Something that’s, painted, with the words, translated…

The Wetlands

Lying, on the Northern Shores of the Danshui River

Becoming, an Extra-Large Paintbrush

Brushing Across the Horizon

A Few Water Fowls Splashed in

查看來源圖片what the place looks like, photo found online…

The Far End of the Smoky, Mangroves Where the Ocean Meets the River

The Originally Quiet Mangrove Patch

Became Roused Up Suddenly

Focusing the Eyes

I’d Found

The Red Setting Sun on the Canvas

Was, Slowly Sinking Downward

in the Muddy Swamps

查看來源圖片the species of plant that’s found there…photo found online…

the Sketch Artists Were, Picking Up Their Materials

And, Packed in the Sound of the Tides

the Impressions of the Waves, Hitting the Shores

with the Painted, Colorful, Not-Yet-Dried Sunset

into the Bags

with the artists, painting by the river…photo from online…查看來源圖片

This is the importance, of we humans, being just the observers of the nature scenes, to NOT get overly involved into the habitats, to just, stay on the sidelines, and capture what we see with our minds, our paintbrushes, our words…

Sunset on Tuesday, a Poem

Translated…

Four-Thirty in the Afternoon

The Sun is Dead

The Dark Blue Sky

with a Few Reddened Clouds

Became a Charcoal, Burned to Redness

sunset 的圖片結果the skies, painted red like this…photo from online

This poet had, painted the picturesque of the dying light illuminating from the western skies at sunset with her words, so very vivid…