I Just Love Older Men

Finding the man who suited her the best, translated…

Being a Capricorn who matures very early, I’d not gotten close to strangers since when I was a young child, I’d wanted, someone I can, look up to, someone who can, push me to strive, a tall mountain, as my steady support—yes, I am, into older men!

查看來源圖片a pair like this, maybe???  Photo found online…

Blame it on my first love, my ex was so into playing the arcades, didn’t study, didn’t CARE about his own future, other than having the good looks, he had, NOTHING, which made me decide, that an older, a more stable man would be, better for me.  For most, the older men ranged from between thirty to thirty-five to me, it’d meant someone who’s established at work, steady, stable, and with a good taste in life; and the most important man in my life, “uncle Bear”, he’d set up his own business in his twenties, bought the house, the properties, good at photography, knew the arts, listened to Bach, made the most tasty coffees, very understanding, for me, that was, an entirely, different world.

Some say, this is the Electra Complex, but, which romance isn’t based off of complimentary traits?  I saw the life I wanted, in the older man, and understood what youth meant to them; and, I shall, cherish this relationship as I go along, my first taste of love, will be imprinting on his life experiences, we make, the perfect match!

And so, this is what you’d figured out, that the men your age are way too immature, and so, you started searching for men, who are, older, and you’d, found a good man who loved you, knowing what she wanted, was how she was, able to find love.


Playing Coy with My Husband, the Way We Interacted with Each Other

You’re, barking UP the wrong trees, ‘cuz, he ain’t, buyin’ it!!!  Translated…

If there’s competition on the sweetest lips, I’d surely be in the top spots.

I’d found the opportunities, and, readied myself, for the acts, it’s just, that the person I’d tried sweetened myself up to, hated the sweetness, and always, he’d, managed, to turn me back into my original form, although there’d be many things that went wrong, as I’d, played coy with my husband, regardless, it was, still fun.

On that day, as my husband was folding up the laundry, he’d told me, “I’m in for an overtime tomorrow again!”

The firecrackers started sounding off inside my mind, I’d started, planning my itinerary for the following evening, but as a wife, my conscience reminded me, to play that role of a wife who’d, be, missing him so, and so, I’d, rushed up to him, hugged tightly on him, lifted my head toward him, made sure he maintained eye contact, then, I’d, started, frowning, showed that look of unwillingness, and told him, “if you’re working overtime, what’ll happen to me then?”

AT this time, he’d not changed his expressions one bit, told me, “Are you serious?  I’d not worked overtime last night, and you’d gone out with your coworkers to dine, and didn’t come home until ten in the evening.”, suddenly, a flock of crows flew by overhead, those of us with lips like sugar, we never mean what we say, and I can only, laugh dryly.

like this, perhaps???  Photo from online…查看來源圖片the way a cat does it…

Later on, one day, I’d gone out to a gathering with my coworkers, and I’d, stayed out too late, as I’d stepped in, he, who’d, watched the house asked, “hey honey, why are you so late tonight?”

I’d felt ashamed, but didn’t want to admit, and told him, “Do you know where I ate my supper tonight?”  He’d stared at me, as if, he was waiting to watch a good show, I’d continued, “it was the restaurant where you and I ate our first meal together, because there were so many wonderful memories there, I’d, suddenly, got caught up, and then, I’d, come home late”.  I’d, minced my lips, to make myself seemed even more innocent.

He’d used his natural way, walked toward me, took my elbow in his hands, smiled and told me, “We’re, quite all right now!”, meant, that my sweet talk didn’t work on him, that it was, more important, to enjoy the moments we are sharing right now, than to, reminisce the past.

查看來源圖片between a man and a woman…photo from online…

I’d suddenly felt my heart skipping beats, and, became flustered, then, I’d, suddenly, stood up straight, like a soldier, reporting, “Yes sir!  Everything my husband said is, always right!”, then, he’d, let down his defenses, I thought.

But, living in the real world, he’d not acted humble when he was supposed to, and now, he’d, laughed aloud, “You’re, too cunning, how can you say that?  A husband is wrong at times too!”, I’d felt, that if one day, I’m his manager, I’d needed, to show him some colors!

And so, the way they’d, interacted, surely, put some fun into their ordinary lives, don’t you think?  And, because this husband doesn’t buy into what his wife is selling, therefore, his wife can’t get under his skins.  But you gotta admit, it’s, kinda fun, watching this interaction happening, in their marriage.

The Oceans Stayed the Same…

The heartache of that very first love, is slowly, fading away, but the memories of her, still stayed, but it’s, no longer, as bright as it were from before now, translated…

Luckily, I’d, kept track with the words, of my youthful, memories; but unfortunately, no matter how many words I’d, kept, I still couldn’t, keep that heart that wanted to leave.

The island is so small, so small, that we’re, cramped up, next to each other, that was, the roads I’d taken to get back into my own home, also, the very first chapter of my life.  Without the oceans, perhaps, we’d, missed ou圖/奚佩璐t, on those waters, that were, filled up, with all our emotions; without the island, the pains of our memories are destined, to stay adrift all over the places.

Back then we were young, felt, that staring into one another’s eyes, singing those love songs to each other, meant that we could go the distance; we’d always believed, that with the letters, the calls that frequented between us, that can, connect us tightly.  The roads at night on the island, the starry skies above the oceans, the fluidity of the years, and the girl’s heart that I can’t hold onto, that young man who’d felt heartbroken had, collected those footprints, hidden them deep, deep down beneath, those ocean waves.

illustration from UDN.com…

Several years later, the wheels of fates started turning between my two legs, the roads I’d once trekked in my youth, I’d looked suddenly, and found a familiar shadow, that’s, made my heart skipped a beat, I just hate, that I couldn’t, take this robe the years had, put on me off, I couldn’t, stop myself from moving forward, the memories of our broken up love was, too heart aching, and now, it’d, felt really awful, how we’d not, even looked each other in the eyes as we passed each other by.

Many years later, I’d, stopped, wondering about the lost loves of my youth, and just, allowed the thoughts to, swim freely inside my mind, as I’d, passed that familiar alley again, there was, just that coldness from the oceans that crawled up the sides of my cheeks, because the girl I loved, had become another’s wife, a mother, and slowly, grown old and gray.

The island stayed the same, those old lovers are withering away, the bays, the sunset, that old love, became the ocean waves crashing into the land, hitting against those slowly fading to gray memories, the scars healed up.  If someone asked, the ocean still, looked the same.

But you no longer are, it’d been, too long, since that first love broke your heart, and, you’d come to realize, that she wasn’t meant to stay in your life, that she was, merely, a passerby in your life, and you, in hers too.

Dreams, a Poem

Is this, love?  I wonder…translated…

I’d Often Dreamed of a

Swan that’s White

Swimming on a Lake, So Black

two swans swimming on th lake together 的圖片結果like this???  Photo from online

Sometimes, I’d Dreamed that

A Black Swan

Was Swimming on a White Lake

And the Latter Was the Dream I Had

Ever Since We Met

And so, the colors were, switched, which signaled the changes in the state of mind of the man, after he’d met the woman, and this just showed, how we’re all, longing for someone to be with, someone to love, someone we can, share our lives with…










My First Love, in a Freeze Frame

The memories of her first crush, she still recalls it like, it was yesterday!  Translated…

We were reassigned to separate classes in our second year in middle school, I was chosen by the class as the recordkeeper of class activities, I’d gone to the offices to collect the written accords of classroom activities, and, I saw him, standing like a noble, out of the rest of his class.  I’d, taken a mental note of his classroom and name stitched on his uniform, then I’d, casually, walked by his class, and started laughing aloud, to get his attention.

And I had, kept myself unseen on the roof of the school, and used my eyes, to take continual photos of how he’d, played balls on the courts.  And I had, adjusted my route to and from school, and “accidentally” passed by his house, and smiled up at the uniform hung outside with his name stitched on it.

Later he tested into an all-male high school, I’d, entered into an electronics company to work, and as I saw him, rushing to get on the busses with his backpack on his shoulders, I’d felt that my heart skipped a beat still.

My first love, he didn’t even know that I existed, and, I’d, kept the way I felt for him secret for three whole years, until at a reunion, I’d learned, from a former classmate, that he was, then dating my former classmate, and so, as Cinderella, I picked my broom back up, kept sweep, with that prince, riding off on a white horse, time had, blurred out the memories.

I saw him on the streets, with his backpack around his back, rushing for the bus again, I’d, instinctively wanted to chase after him, call his name aloud, asked him how everything was.

As I took that first step out, my daughter grabbed a hold of my shirt, and, it’d, wakened me up: I’m already a mother, a wife, how could he still be just fifteen?

First love, a time that belonged to solely me, sourness, mixed in with the sweetness, forever, in a freeze frame, of that youthful time in my life.

And so, a part of you, stayed in your teenage years, still remembering, how you’d, crushed onto that guy, and, because it was a crush, nothing became of it, and yet, this memory of a crush, it’d, given your life more colors, didn’t it???

Learning About Love Together

Found on a carton of a drink I bought for lunch today, translated by me…

Like Learning a Brand New Language with you

Giving New Meanings to These Words

Every Word Has Its Specific Definition

Every Now and Then, with the Stories Attached

We’d, Tried Calling One Another Aloud

查看來源圖片like this???  Photo from online…

Practiced Pointing at Each Other

In the Everydayness, Try to Find that Same Wavelength

Knowing How We’re Both, Referring to the Love We Shared

And that the Silence Doesn’t Mean the Absence of Love

It’s Just, that Sometimes, the Love We Have

Can’t Be Described in Words

And so, even though, the two of you are still, quite new at this (love???), but, as the two of you got along together more and more, there would be, that sense of cohesiveness, that sense of, connectedness, of how, the two of you, are finally, on the same wavelengths, after you’d, adapted to each other’s ways…







The Sweetness, Hidden in the Homemade Meals

The way into a man’s (or in this case, a woman’s) heart, is through the stomach! Translated…

“Hey, did you ever use those two temperature control bowls I’d given you?” yesterday, mom inquired.

“I’d left them in Canada.”

“Did you ever use them?”, she’d, continued.

“Well, I had, actually.”, I’d, started, smiling, and everything else she’d said afterwards, went through my ears.

I’d gone to my senior year in high school in Canada last year, gained quite a lot of weight in the past twelve months, it wasn’t because of the fish and chips, or the burgers, but S. S was like a devil, disguised, as an angel, from the moment we’d met, I’d, become, destined, to fatten up.

The first time I met him was in my economics course, and, what made us recognize one another, was our Asian looks. Although the class was busy, left us no time to chit chat, but, we’d, stayed after class together. I’d, read the biography of John Lennon, with my graded exam under it, he’d, slowly, leaned in, asked, “Aren’t you taking the county exams tomorrow?”

The county exams are an English exam for the Ontario region, an exam that I must pass, in order, to graduate. I’d, nodded, and reminded him that he’d needed to bring his own lunch tomorrow, that he couldn’t go out to buy. “But,” he’d, frowned, “I don’t want sandwiches anymore!”

The next day, I’d brought two lunches, eight slices of toasts, a box of stewed chicken feet, stewed bean curd. And, the aromas had, everybody leaning in, a couple of my Chinese classmates became like puppy dogs and begged, “It’s been ages since we had the stewed chicken legs”, I can only shake my head to them, “All of these, are for S.” As we ate, we looked out the windows, at the white snows, and he kept saying, that he needed to, take me out for a meal, I’d shrugged, and smiled. And ever since, I’d been, eating what he’d, made for me.

S is a good able-bodied man, the foods he’d prepared, are extremely, delicious, and, his way of making the rice, was extraordinary too—but that was because, he’d, originated from Hunan, everything he’d added the chili to, the rice with chili, the meats, the fried pork chops. Originally, I’d had, difficulties, digesting anything spicy, but since he turned into my chef, my ability to withstand the spiciness, increased; the very first time, he’d made the meals for me, I’d, started crying, because of how spicy the foods were, to the end of the year, I’d, eaten down, that legendary spicy turkey noodle, without, changing any colors.

But what I’d loved most was, not those lunches that were, never the same, but the two temperature controlled bowls I’d, mentioned to my mother on. I’d not skipped, a single course last year, nor had I, taken any leave of absence, it’d, broken my own rituals from back in Taiwan, especially the once-a-month periods. I’d, carried my cramping stomach to school, and, as I’d returned home, my face looked, awful, I’d fallen, limp on the desks, didn’t even want to, raise my hand, to answer any questions. This was, too apparent, the teacher asked me, “Who’s been, picking on you?”, I’d said sorrowfully, “My uterus!”, S heard, and asked me why I didn’t, have any brown sugar with water? I’d told him, I only liked the red bean soups, but I didn’t know how to make it; which was, true, I’m, an idiot when it comes to cooking. S told me he could make it, but he didn’t have a temperature controlled cup to bring it to school to me in. I thought he was, only joking, so, I’d told him, “I got two temperature controlled bowls, you can have them then.” But after school that day, he actually, went and got the beans, and, made a whole pot, and, don’t know why, he’d, separated the portions for me. What’s odd was, the soup he’d made, tasted like mom’s.

Later, it’s, as if, S became, addicted to cooking, he’d, made the red bean soups, the green bean with barley too, even the heated grass jelly, and, as he’d, made the foods, he’d still, made fun of, how my face, looked, rounder now. In this process of me, fattening up, he’s the one responsible for it—and, as the rest of the classmates came, to ask him for the soups he’d made, he’d always replied, “I’m saving this for C.”

A long time later, we’d, thought back to the time, and found, that this line was, equivalent to, “I love you”. And back then, we had, yet to know, and wondered, why the soups tasted, a bit, too sweet.

And so, this, is the man, who showed you that he loves you, in his actions, he’d, made the soups for you, to help you feel better, and, you were, appreciative of him, and, that is what made the two of you closer, and now, you two are together, as a couple.

like this???