The Time that Accumulated with the Waters Rising, a Poem

The philosophies of this life, translated…

Sometimes, Life, Just Has to, Hide

Behind the Trees and the Houses

In the time that Accumulated with the Waters Rising

Before Hope is, Given Out

Each of Rooms May Not Have the Potted Plants in it

But, with the Multitudes of Weathers

You’d Needed to, Adapt Yourselves to

Those Who are, Extremely Quiet

Making the Most Decisions

The Wind Started Blowing Today

Doesn’t Necessarily Mean that There Would be Sun ‘Morrow

Give Yourself, Cloudiness Every Single Day

Some of the Love May Have Been, Grayed

But, They Will, Turn White Again on the Day After Tomorrow

After the Rain Happens for Some

There May be, Rainbow

Sometimes, Life is

Walking, with a Pen in Your Hand

Recording Down Each and Every Instant of

Shadows, of Darkness, of the Sunnier Days

Along with, Your Own Reflections

And so, this still just showed, how we’re, all alone in the world, NO matter how many friends we may have, we’re still, the ONLY ones we have, of counting on, for every single moment of our lives.

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Expressions of Love

The changes in your behaviors, in your ways of expressing the love, after your daughter was born, translated…

My daughter was the firstborn in three generations, and so, she’d, received ALL our love.  From when she started to understand things, we’d, not held back on the way we’d expressed our love for her, we’d often say to her, “You’re so wonderful, come to daddy for a hug!”  “You’re, so wonderful, come, grandma give you a hug!”  “Thank you cleaning up your room, mommy loves you, so very much!”

As she’d heard these expressions of love from us, she’d, slowly, started, learning to express the love too.  Sometimes, as she was, using video conference with her two aunts who live away, she’d said, “I love you so, aunt.”  Or, “aunt, when are you coming home?  I miss you so very much!”

查看來源圖片like this???  Photo from online

Actually, my family and I, weren’t that expressive about love at all, before my daughter was born, I’d, held a family meeting, and decided, to show my daughter my love bravely, that way, she’d known, how to, express her love to others, and how to get along well with others too.

Although it’d, felt, a bit, awkward from the start, but, after I gave it a few tries, it’d, become, easier.  And now, as I saw my wife doing the household chores, I’d shown her my gratitude too.  After I’d learned to express my love, naturally, I’d become, a gentleman, like how that night as I was, washing my daughter’s dirty shirt, at the age of a little over two, she’d told me, “Daddy works so hard, I love daddy so!”  Hearing her words so sweet, it’d felt, that no matter the hardships, it’s, all more than, worth it!

See how a young child can, change everything in your life, because this father wanted his young daughter to feel and know that he loves her, he’d started, learning to express his love to her, physically and verbally, which was what he was, never exposed to, and yet, after he’d started expressing his love verbally and physically to his young child, it all came, naturally, and became the only way he knows, of interacting with his loved ones.

The Unorthodox Generations of New Asian Americans

Successful Asians in American society, all because, they’d, gone against the flow of things, and, STRUCK out on their own, bravely!  From the Front Page Sections, translated…

The Asian immigrant, Jimmy moved from Hong Kong to L.A. when he was thirteen, as he’d entered into middle school, he couldn’t understand a word in English, he was, what Americans believed, the most classic kind of Asian children; good in math, can play the violin, and can play table tennis;  His father who wanted him to achieve greatness used a false address, so he can be enrolled into Beverly Hills High School, hoping that Jimmy can become like most immigrants’ children, earn a good degree, get a good job.

Jimmy used watching T.V. to help him improve his English skills, but because he’d watched the BET channels most often, other than learning a ton of slangs, he’d, acquired a love for rap music too.  He’d, recruited a couple of his classmates, to start a band, that was, his first step, into the world of, entertainment.  And yet, this venture was, unsuccessful, and as he’d thought about those day, back to the experiences, he’d still, felt, embarrassed.

Anyways, later on, he’d entered into UC-San Diego, first, he’d majored in mechanical engineering, them, switched to the economics major.  “That was the bottom line accepted by Asian parents of the easier to graduate majors”, Jimmy told, and his father worked as a financial consultant, and having an economics degree, is, at least, related to his father’s field of work.

In his boring years of university, Jimmy spent a lot of his time, smoking pot, he said, that that way, he’d, no longer be, a part of the majority of students in his school, Asians, anymore, he’d now belonged, to a minority population of Asians who smoked marijuana.  Perhaps, it’s his lacking in identity from when he was younger, that’s, driven him to become, different than the rest.  Before he graduated, his father found him a part-time job at Citibank in the finance department, and yet, that part of his working experiences, affirmed his belief, that he’d not wanted to, spend his working days, behind a desk.

“How did you work up the courage to tell your father?”, the hostess, Mrs. Howard asked him curiously at the March lecture at Google headquarters, she is the high up manager of the investment department of the company.  For his father who’d, believed, “chasing your dreams is the quickest way toward bankruptcy”, and “artists are homeless”, if Jimmy didn’t want to follow the footsteps of the successful Asians, it would be, difficult, for his family to accept it.  Jimmy recalled those days of sticking to his guns, and talking with his father, he’d understood one thing: other than living with regrets for the rest of his life, he can live with letting his parents down for a couple of years; and even if he didn’t make it, he’d needed to, first, give it a shot, to know if he will, achieve his dreams.

It wasn’t easy, leaving his, original path in life, and, life is, full of more, twists and turns, for Jimmy, who’s still, discovering what he’s, interested in.  He’d sold preowned vehicles after he got out of school, worked as the concierge of a comedy club, and became a host at a strip bar too, after awhile, he was certain, that he had, a knack for comedy.

In his 102nd audition, he’d finally got the famous producer, Mike Judge’s attention, he’d started, on a small role in Silicon Valley.  Lucky for him, the few short lines that he’d started with, slowly, made him, into one of the main characters of the shows.

Perhaps, you’d, caught the unusual Asian young man, Jimmy Ou-Yang, the unusual character in Crazy Rich Asians.  Like the star, Constance Wu, or Jeremy Lin in the NBA, they’d, strayed from the paths that Asian parents set for their young, but with their own faith and hard work, they were able to, find a separate sky to soar under; Constance Wu is the embodiment of how the new age Hollywood star breached across the races, Jeremy Lin impressed the Asians with his basketball abilities, and Jimmy O. Yang, not only did he become, a bestselling author and actor, he’d cramped up the seats in Google headquarters too.

All of these, untraditional Asian refused to follow the traditions, and not knowing, that as the roads turned, they would, become the most successful figures of Asians in European and American cultures.

And so, this still just showed, if you stick to your guns, and keep working toward that goal, and, IGNORE what everyone else says about you, your job, and just, keep true to yourselves, you can, be successful, like these individuals who’d, made a huge name for themselves in the U.S.

 

Being Able-Bodied as an Elderly Person IS a Blessing in Itself

A blessing, but at first, she didn’t see it that way, until, her daughter and granddaughter convinced her, otherwise, translated…

My mother is past eighty years of age, her being elderly, plus the hard labor for work she’d done when she was younger, it’d, made her ached all over.  And my father is over ninety already, my younger brother who’d lived with them worked hard, and is unmarried, and so, for the daily needs of shopping for groceries, laundry, the meals, and going to the doctors, all of these, daily things, landed on my mother alone.  And so, she’d complained from time to time, that at her age, others would have their daughters-in-law, or a foreign hired help to help her out, but she’d getting elderly now, and still needed to work around the house all by herself, she’d been, overcome with “ill fortune” in this lifetime.  But, love can’t be forced, and, my parents don’t qualify for hiring a foreign help, and, although as their daughter, I’d felt my mother’s sorrows, there was, nothing I can do, but to listen to her pour her heart out, and accompany by her side.

Actually, the neighbors or relatives whom my mother deemed to be “blessed” in recent years, had become demented, or bedridden, and some of whom had, died.  And so, I keep on believing, that although my mother is elderly, she’s still very sharp and able-bodied, it has to do with how she’d moved her hands and legs, gone out to shop for groceries, and prepared the meals by herself.  And every time I’d told her this, she’d always said to me sorrowfully, “you wouldn’t understand the trials of my life!”

I’d read an article awhile ago, the writer’s mother is also past eighty years of age, and she’d wrecked her mind, to come up with the menus for the day, made the meals herself, used her brain and hands together by the day, and, she’d, lost the risk factors for dementia.  I’d immediately shared this article with my mother, and, as she’d learned that someone was as ill-fated as she was, she’d become, interested, and, had me read the article to her!  The article even had a photo of the writer’s mother cooking attached, and, my mother, who’s a very good cook, immediately started studying the dishes on the tables.

illustration from the papers圖/倩

I’d joked and told her, “Mom, you can go make a feast, and I’ll, photograph it for you, and send it in as an admission to the papers too!”, she’d flashed her shy smile said, “no!  I’m shy!” but a bit later, she’d inquired, “When will you come back to take the photo?  What should I make?”, and, my daughter, laughed until I couldn’t stand up straight, said, “there are so many dishes that grandma makes so well, you may need TWO dinner tables to put them all on!”, I’d commended my mother, on how she was able to do so many things on her own at her age, “You are, truly, strong and amazing!”, as she’d heard our praises, my mother started smiling, so very, radiantly then.

I’d taken the advantage, consoled with her, as Taiwan marched into an older society, with the reduced birthrate, there are, more and more elderly who’d cooked their own meals.  My mother’s cooking is very tasty, and it’d, gained the accolades, perhaps, she should develop a tasty menu, that way, she’d keep dementia away, and on the other hand, it’d, satisfied her children and grandchildren’s taste buds too, she can turn her own life around, with the change of a thought.  My daughter hollered out hooray, my mother chuckled, “Yeah, you are all, gluttons!”

Seeing how my mother with her head of silvery hair going into the kitchens with my daughter, they’d started discussing to either “steam or fry the fish?  How to do the vegetable?” it’d dawned on me, that having a long time IS a blessing, but, in this era where there are so many elderly people in the communities, you’d needed to, make yourselves “shine” out, and that, would then truly be, a blessing!

And so, the mother felt that she’d been tried, that she couldn’t rest even as an elderly, but her daughter and granddaughter gave her an alternative perspective, and, the elderly woman realized, that being elderly and still capable, doing everything on her own, IS a blessing, and it is!

Mop & Camera Lenses

This man had, compromised his own dreams, to help take care of his own, aging mother, but he hadn’t, given up on his dreams entirely, and that, is what’s, important!  Translated…

The young man with black-rimmed glasses, curly hair, dressed very fashionably, dragged in his luggage through the doors, with all the camera, filming machines packed inside.  He’d, observed the light in the room, picked up a lens, went outside, then, changed another lens, very skillful, and quite, professional too; but, he also has, another job, he works, in janitorial.

painted by the writer, from UDN.com…圖/阮光民

He’d originally stayed in Taipei after he was discharged from the services, he’d started getting into photography in his high school years, at first, he’d set up a club with a few of his friends who shared the common interests, gone around, collected, the people, and the places, at the same time, marked down his own life too.  Reason why he’d returned to his hometown was because of his mother: once he’d arrived home, saw his mother who’d, worked in contracting janitorial work, found that he saw how aged she’d, become, he was shocked, that in the past, he’d, not noticed this.  He thought, that as he was taking pictures he’d focused on the lights, and, as he’d photographed people, he’d, found a specific moment in time, but, he’d realized, just now, that while he was out, capturing life, he’d, missed his own mother’s life.

And now, he’d worked in contract janitorial, and, if someone locally needed a photographer to document a wedding of a sort of a function, then, he’d, bent down, let go of the mops, and picked his camera back up again.  I’d asked him of his future plans, he’d, given me this, far-away look, because, the lens called the future may be, too long for him.

See how, when reality and dreams clash, people tend to give into the demands of reality, this man had too, but he’d, found a way to compromise between his dreams and reality, and now, he’d, taken care of both at the same time!

Langenfeld & Dog

Making the adjustments, to living in a foreign land, until this foreign place felt, more like home to you, translated…

Choosing the hotels, I’m used to living in the cities, or closer to the stations, for the sake of convenience.  As I’d, walked toward the Rhine in Germany, I still, couldn’t decide whether to find my stay in Kohn or Dusseldorf.  My friend suggested, that we should, find a small town close by, we’d already, bought the monthlong fares, we needn’t worry about the charges of the transportation, and, it’d, saved up on the city taxes, and, close to the ordinary citizens’ lives.

I’d, pulled open the map, trekked along the railroad, from Koln to Dusseldorf, there were, two mid-size towns on the east side of the Rhine, one was the famous headquarters of the soccer team of Leverkusen, made famous by Bayer, the other, was one town I’d never even heard of, Langenfeld.  As we got to the middle of our journey, it’s time, that we added in, some sort of a leisure of the vacation, and, without a second thought, we’d, picked Langenfeld.

There were two stations locally, both were on the same linear line, the southern one was closer to the center of the city, and got its name of the city, and it’s, also the transportation center for all the busses in the region.  And, on the northern side of the town, there was another, and, it took the name of the highway that intersected with it, Langenfeld-Berghausen , the app of the railroad app on my cell abbreviated this place as Langenfeld-B, made it look like a spare door, so easily missed out on.

I’d gone out in the morn, walked to the northern side of the town to catch a bus, and on the evenings, I’d, gone to take the bus on the south side, and, although, it’d, doubled my way to the bed and breakfast, I could, have the opportunities to shop locally at the supermarkets.

And I’d selected the south side station at night, other than it being where all the shopping marts are, there’s also a personal reason.  As I’d walked along during the daytime, I’d heard the loud barks of viciously sounding dogs.

The first day, and the second day too, I’d only heard the bark, but didn’t see the dog.  And, although I knew, that there are, NO strays on the roads in Germany, that the barking must be from a house, with a pet, but, I couldn’t, get that image of a vicious dog out of my mind.  Like there’s, a huge breed of dog that is going to, run out at anytime toward me, especially, in the darkness of night, all the impossible, became, a possibility.

The bed and breakfast was a three story building, the top floor, was a special place, a one-person bedroom, with the bath and the kitchens, I’d originally wanted to use it for when my parents came visiting, that the lighting was great, it’s, comfortable too, and we wouldn’t, step on each other’s toes.  And, as my parents didn’t come, I could, rent it out, for some extra cash.

The owner of this B&B is the energetic woman, lived with her four, five-year-old son, she worked two jobs regularly, with a steady boyfriend who’s an architect, the three of them got along very well.  And, as I’d found the place, the family of three were about to head out.  The woman told me, that she’s dropping her son off to spend the weekend with his father, then, she and her boyfriend would go to the Netherlands, to have some alone time together.

On the third day, I’d walked on that same path to the station.  And, I’d, gotten to the station, without much trial, and felt, that something, wasn’t, there, oh, the dog had, stopped barking.  Turns out, as he’d, looked upon me, an outsider, day in and day out, he’d finally, gotten, used to me now.  On the fourth day, he’d, played cute with me, and started, whimpering at me as I passed him by from the other side of the road, like wanted me to go and introduce myself to him or something.

And, I’d finally, gotten a closer look at his features, he was, an intelligent looking shepherd, not as huge as I thought it was, but, we were, separated by the fences, and, I can only, look at it from this side of the fences, we were, separated, by a small garden.

On the last night, I’d contemplated that if I have another serving of cheese and sausage, I shall got NUTS, and that if the dog wasn’t a problem anymore, perhaps, I should, get off on the north side.

The moon was bright, like a silvery plate, very circular, it’s, that season of full moon that came during autumn.  As I’d, walked across the forest, there wasn’t any passing car, the branches and the leaves blocked out the lights, then suddenly, the wind blew down some leaves, made the shadows come alive, and, I’d, felt scared.

Looking at a city, from being unfamiliar with it, to becoming, accustomed with it, which way to turn, which way to stop, it all became, habitual, but, the side effects of that was, I’d become, hyper alert of the shapes, and the changes in air, any small movement, can make me jump.  Especially, on a full moon’s night, everything mystique, seemed to be, coming to life.

Thankfully, that shepherd sounded its bark, very low and settling, like it was saying to me, Hey, what are you afraid of, welcome home!

And so, this, is how this person had, gone from a stranger to a new place, to becoming, totally, familiar with it, and now, this place that was, once foreign to her/him, became, home…

 

 

 

The Wave Blockers of Love

She was, led on by him, or maybe, she was, just, having a CRUSH???  Translated…

I’m from the oceans, I can’t sing, only know how to transpire my love through the written words, other than that, I’m, practically, deaf, because before love, I can’t, speak a word aloud, only that sense of love’s happened to me, that’s, pressed up against my chest tight; you are, my harbor, but you’d said, that you’d, wanted a ship, sailing, into the oceans.  You know what?  You’re like, that piece of land, a place, to set my foot on, and, you were, unwilling, to get seasick for my sake, turned me, into the sea witch, Ursula, full of hate, from this young and naïve, princess.

On that evening, at the place where the ocean came in, we walked, underneath that same umbrella, I’d guessed, that this, is how big the world gets, and you’d, smiled at me lightly, I’d never known, that a middle aged man’s smile can look, so attractive, and, I’d wanted to, light up those, firecrackers, to rip off those silks, and, you’d, smiled toward me; then, slowly, we’d, run out of words of exchange, you’d, pointed to the stacks of rocks and asked me, “you know?  Those are called, wave blockers!”, your words had, killed the mood, and, I’d, immediately, bore witness, to what blocks out the waves of love so quickly.

what the wave blockers looked like by the seaside, photo from online…消波塊 的圖片結果
In actuality, my waves, will NEVER get onto your shores, so, why would I need the wave blockers?  You’d always said due to our age differences, we are better of, as friends; and what made me hated you more was, you’d told me that you’re, old enough to be my dad already, and, these words, to someone who’d, loved you, was like, the poison-dipped arrow of Anti-Cupid.

blocking out the waves of love 的圖片結果from before, how she’d, felt about the man…photo from online…

Those years, I’d, often sat by the shores, gazed up at the moon, and, as I’d, watched the moon, I’d felt, disappointed, of how long, I’d, waited, if our love had the ups and downs, it would’ve been, better, but, there’s none, just, this thick fog that’s, come between us; I know it too, nothing mattered, to a life, that’s, currently, receding out.

This sense of intimacy you’d, experienced, may not have been love at all, but you’d, wished it was, but, he knew all along, that he can only be a sort of a father-figure, a mentor to you, someone who can, give you advice on life, nothing more…

and after…photo from online查看來源圖片