The Air, My Friend

The column by Jimi Liao, a possible explanation of why people don’t read as much books as they used to, perhaps??? The column by Jimi Liao, translated by me…

If books are like gourmet foods

then maybe, they won’t be unmarketable

But, they would need to go through the serious sanitary checks

and get all their expiration dates ascertained

And so, that, is from a kid’s perspective, perhaps, s/he is having troubles, comprehending, why books are no longer that popular, it’s because of the internet, and how people are now, getting more used to reading things from online, but I still prefer books, with the bindings, the covers, front to back, they feel more, substantial to me…

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Saved Your Lies, for a Worse Day…

Still not in my nature, to THROW anything away, fearing, that I may one day, need what I have no use for right now…

So, I’d, saved your lies, for a worse day, but, I’m having better days now, and so, your lies stopped, making their treks across my mind. Saved your lies, for a worse day, I shouldn’t have, I know, because on my worse days, I’d be desperate, for that cheer-me-up, and your lies, just don’t, do the “trick” at all, but, I’d, saved them, for a worse day.

I suppose, it’s how I want to, remind myself, how your lies are, FAR worse than the worse days that I’d currently be, experiencing? Like measuring down, and feeling good ‘bout myself, maybe?

Saved your lies, for a worse day, until, all I got, were your lies, manifesting, into my life, and, every day gets worse than the ones that came previously. This won’t do!

So, I’d, stopped saving your lies, for ANY day, besides, been living with your lies, for too long, it’s time, I’d, cleared them all away, and, the moment I got rid of that latest and last lie of yours, I see the sun, shining on my face…

I will NEVER be, saving your lies again, learned THAT lesson, the HARD way too, don’t you know???

 

 

 

 

 

If You Don’t Love Me…

If you don’t love me, then, don’t hold me, set me free, it wouldn’t be fair, to me, or you, to keep me, hangin’ ‘round! If you don’t love me, just say it already!!!

If you don’t love me, why you still, lettin’ me hang ‘round you, huh? And, shouldn’t we, just break it off, for once, and for all, instead, of, getting comfortable with each other’s bodies? If you don’t love me, just say the word, and I’ll see, where I go from here. But you can’t, you’re, too addicted, to this feeling of ecstasy that you feel when you get into my body, aren’t you???

If you don’t love me, and love’s been, dead, AND gone, buried, TEN-FEET under (‘cuz six feet ain’t deep enough???) many, many, many years ago. If you don’t love me, then, why you still come back ‘round, whenever life beats you down? Because I’m that safe place for you, that you feel, warm and taken care of in? And what makes you believe, that I am, always, going to be, the door that stays open, 24/7, just in case you needed to come and score some, huh???

If you don’t love me, just cut the ties already, oh wait, because you can’t, cut the ties, therefore, I MUST, because that, is how much respect I have, for me, and loving you, would not, be respecting ME enough, and I got, too much SELF-RESPECT, to love anybody like Y-O-U!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Filtering, Through the Static of Your Lies…

This was, what I’d, taught myself to do, as the static of your lies became, too much, too loud, for me to bear, and I’d needed to, find a way, to TUNE it all out somehow…

I thought it may be, easier, if I’d, just, ignored all those, white noises happening in the background, but, the white noises became, too, overtly, cacophonous, and, I just, hear it, ALL the time, no matter where I was!

what I used to hear…from Youtube.com…

Filtering, through the static of your lies, it wasn’t, easy, oh no, it was, extremely, difficult, especially because, I’d still, felt something (still waitin’ for that to finally WEAR off!!!) for you, and, it’s, this slow, gradual, process for me, which I’m, taking it, a day, at a time (kinda like the 12-Step programs for alcoholics or addicts???).

Filtering, through the static of your lies, I finally had, and now, I don’t even, HEAR a single sound (wow, finally became, DEAF after so many, god damn, FUCKING years of living with your lies…), and, I’m enjoying, this, newfound, silence, that I’m currently, surrounded by.

and now…查看來源圖片hear that??? Of course N-O-T!!!  Picture from online…

Filtering, through the static of your lies, it’d been, too long since, I was, hearing NOTHING, absolutely NOT a single sound, and I can, still hear that PIN drop, and, it’s, so totally, amazing, that I’d, sharpened, my own sense of hearing, after I’d, filtered through the STATIC of your L-I-E-S here!!!

 

 

 

 

A Widow, Back, in the Dating Scene

Attempting, to fill up that void from the death of her beloved husband, by dating men, and this woman still hadn’t figured out exactly, that what she’s missing was inside of her self, and she CANNOT find it outside of her self, with the men she’d been, dating, translated…

The Trophies of the Ballroom Dancing Class

Jie-Ruo, she was the very first friend I’d made in London, she’s passionate, friendly, but her husband, Barry who teaches in a middle school is very quiet, rarely smiled, they’re, totally, opposites.

That year on my birthday, I’d originally asked Jie-Ruo out to lunch to celebrate with me, but that very morn, I’d received a call from our friend, telling me, that Barry had, died of a myocardio infarction the night before.

illustration from the papers online…國標舞班的戰利品潔若,是我到倫敦認識的第一個朋友,她熱情友善,但在中學任教的...

Barry didn’t leave any words behind, and, Jie-Ruo became like a phantom, not knowing, what she is to do now. Thankfully, Barry bought the homeowner’s insurance that’s a part of his life insurance plans, the house is still theirs, the three of them, mother and sons, wouldn’t be out on the streets; the retirement pension of the teachers, his surviving wife can still receive, barely enough, to make ends meet. But, the eldest son just entered into his freshman year in college, and his father died, he’d become, depressed and locked himself up inside, refused, to go back to college for his courses, became a stay-at-home geek; the second son was in his puberty, had emotional ups and downs, and the two children had given Jie-Ruo a ton of headaches. The only consolation was she had two dogs, I’d often gone with her to the parks to walk them, allowed her to pour her heart out to me, to help resolve that loneliness she feels inside after the loss of her husband.

And, five, six years flew by, the kids became, more stabilized, and she’d worked, very hard, to get out from the glooms of the loss of her husband. I’d recommended her to attend the ballroom dancing classes offered by the community center, isn’t that a great place, for single people, to find a partner again?

Not long thereafter, Jie-Ruo came knocking on my doors, with that smile I hadn’t seen crawling up her lips for a very long time, with a yellow Chinese style dress I’d given her as a gift from before, with a gentleman close by. I’d, immediately guessed, that that, was one of the winnings she’d gained, from the ballroom dancing class with the number of women being MORE than the number of men in the class—Richard.

But, Richard, who’s about fifty, is a bit eccentric, he’d lived alone in the countryside, in England, where winters tend to last very long, he’d not had a heater system; sometimes, he’d vanished for a very long while, cut off contact with Jie-Ruo completely, but as Jie-Ruo was going through something like the loss of her mother or aunt, he’d immediately shown up to comfort her. And the way they’d interacted on and off, on and off, with no consistencies, it’d made Jie-Ruo really insecure.

Moving into the New Estate Next to the Beach

After her elder passed on, Jie-Ruo inherited a huge sum of inheritance, at this time, Barry had been gone for ten years, as the kids graduated from college, she’d slowly, become more at ease, more confident too.

One day, as I was walking the dogs with her at the park, as we’d carried on in casual conversation, a Tony popped up. “Sorry, who’s Tony again?”, I recalled, that after Richard, there was, John, Simon……………

I saw that light of happiness flickering in Jie-Ruo’s eyes, as she’d chimed on, “Tony is a partner in my ballroom dancing class. He took care of his ailing wife for many years, became a widower just last year. He is very funny and outgoing, I’m really happy with him. You know, I have this dream, of living close to the seas, and Tony was willing to sell his estate, and I, using a part of my mother’s inheritance, we’d, bought a mansion by the seas together. Actually, we’d already found a property, if we break up, or there were issues on the inheritance right for the children, we’d found an attorney to draft up the wills already too……………” as she’d talked, she’d become, more and more excited.

I thought, man, you are, a widow that just refuse to settle down, back then, Barry, was too quiet, perhaps, Tony, who’s very outgoing and upbeat can make you happy. It’s just, that not knowing each other for six months yet, and you’re already, buying an estate together, are you sure you thought this thing through completely? But, seeing how happy Jie-Ruo was talking about this, I couldn’t possibly, rain on her parade.

Just as they were about to buy their estate together, Jie-Ruo came to me, with worries on her face, “Tony is very ill now, maybe, it’s, cancer…………”, I’d felt that tightening in my heart, my dear Jie-Ruo, why do you have such bad luck, you’re about, to take on, a sick, ailing, and even, dying man.

But, they’d already signed the papers for the house, they can’t turn back now, and so, they’d, followed the plans, Jie-Ruo took her two Papillons, Tony, with his huge German shepherd, they’d, moved in to that new house on the beach. The three dogs got along quite well, and, Jie-Ruo took good care of Tony like she’d promised. And, thankfully, after the health exams, Tony didn’t have cancer, but a heart condition, and all he’d needed was, rest.

But, living together, it’d, caused the frictions, and how to split up the costs, and, the methods of dealing with their separate children weren’t consistent enough, they’d started fighting a lot, and, a little over a year, they’d, sold the property, and split up.

“It’s been so many year, I’d gotten fearful, of living this life alone. Steven who’s very straight-forward was, my Forrest Gump, he’d danced with me, gone out with me on walks, and we’d, gotten along quite well with each other. Life, is all about, being happy in the now, who knows what’ll happen tomorrow, right?”

I’d, squeezed her hand, knew her heart, she’d been through the trials of losses from death, so, what if, she’s, dating a lot right now, right?

And so, this, is what this woman learned, from the losses in her life, she’d attempted to fill up that void that came with the loss of her beloved husband, with other men, and it might work for a short while, as the article showed, but, because this widow didn’t dig DEEP enough inside of herself, to find out WHY exact it is that she fears being alone, her relationships will always be, short-lived…

The Breakup, a Short Prose

Guess W-H-O-S-E fault it is here??? Translated…

They were having supper.

She’d struck up a conversation casually with him, “You’d ruined my youthful years. Let’s break up!”

“It will do just fine,” he’d stated, peacefully, “Your vanity already, strained me completely.”

She’d not finished the food inside her bowl, and gotten up to pull out the metallic 29-inch suitcase out that’s waiting, for a brand new start in life, “Honestly, all your jeans, they’re all, outdated.”

He’d nodded, “This late in the game, there’s, NO need to hide anything from you anymore………I really HATE how you’d used those stainless steel chopsticks to eat.”

Without the goodbyes, the doors just, shut.

Later, the next man she’d met, was, better.

Later, he’d started using the stainless steel chopsticks to eat. The clinking of the sounds, like the BGM rhythms that’s received over millions of hits, echoed on, at the supper table for one.

And so, in this case, the woman WAS the problem of WHY the relationship failed, the first guy got exed out, because he didn’t eat with the stainless steel chopsticks (and that may be just the mask for whatever actually was wrong with the relationship), and the second time this woman thought she’d found love, it still didn’t work out, and this time, the man DID do things her way, and so, the problems rest with the woman here.

Her Carriage that’s, Turned, into a Pumpkin…

Well, the magic had, worn off, at the last struck of midnight all right!

Her carriage that’s, turned into a pumpkin, leaving her, without one of her shoes (‘cuz she’d lost it as she was, runnin’ from the steps of the palace???), and in her torn up dress too, stranded, by the side of the roads, how’s she gonna get home, before her EVIL stepmother (why are stepmothers all evil anyway???) and her stepsisters arrive home.

Her carriage that’s turned into a pumpkin, she’d, stood perfectly still, looking at the pieces of that pumpkin that was, once, a carriage that took her to the ball of her dreams, and, she’d, thought to herself, “hey, at least, I can make some soup out of the remain of this dream!”…

from youtube…how the fairy godmother turned the pumpkin into the carriage…

Her carriage that’s, turned into a pumpkin, it was, a one-night thing, like those, one-night stands, and, there was simply, nothing for her to feel sad about, she’d had her one night in heaven, meeting up with the prince, and before dawn’s light, she’d best, snap out of it, and get to her chores…

Her carriage that’s, turned back into a pumpkin, she’d stood by the side of the road, started, laughing hysterically, like she was, crazy, and, thank heavens, that nobody’s out that late at night, otherwise, people would think she’s N-U-T-S! Then again, she’s never been the one, to care about what people say about her, her life had been, hard enough as is, and to care about what others perceived her as, it would, make her life, next to impossible to live.