The Biggest Fears of an Elderly: Being Scatterbrained

You were, scatterbrained, and now, you’d, forgotten more and more, slowly, that, would be a sign, of dementia, I suppose, or maybe, you’re just, plain forgetful, who knows???  Translated…

The luncheon after the reading club, everybody pays $230 N.T., I took out a $500, and took the bill to the counter; the change I made, I’d, counted, and recounted them, how come, there’s, extra?  And so, I’d, given the change to my friends, and, as the extra cash was split up among them, Wen-Ching who sat next to me, asked, “Hua, did you not count your own change?”, as I’d opened up my small wallet, yup!  I took out a $500, and now, there’s, nothing in my wallet!  It’s a wonder, that ever since, I’d been voted, as the one, who goes to the counter to pay all the bills………

To the market places, a t-shirt that costs $370, “can you give me two for $800?”, then I saw the store clerk grinning ear to ear, and nodded, like he feared I might change my mind.  Had it not be my neighbor who’d reminded me, “Do you have HOLES in your brains???”, I must have believed that I’d bills, then, took out totally, also make the store clerk happy as well.

I’d gone to the super convenience shop at the entrance of my alley to pay a bill, the handsome clerk stated, “Your total comes up to $4,802”, I took out five $1,000 and rummaged through my coin purse for the $80 in change, and tried to stop the clerk from making change to me, “Wait, here’s eighty dollars!”, the handsome lad was, stumped for a bit, then laughed aloud, “Miss, it’s $4,802, not $4082!”, I’d started staring at him, with that blank expression, as he pointed to the cash register monitor, I was, drawing a blank…………

I’m not just an idiot in math, I’m also, a lost soul on the road, I’d once, hit the walls, so many time, in the C.K.S. Memorial Hall, from one side entrance, to the other side entrance, then, into the main entrance, still couldn’t find that exit for Ai-Guo West Road.  And, I’m way, way, WAY off on the MRTs, from the Taipei Main Station to Danshui, after I’d arrived in Beitou, I’d taken the train back to Yuanshan, and found it was the wrong way, gotten off, rushed into train on the other side, and I got to Beitou, but, somehow, transferred to New Beitou.

圖/蔡侑玲

it’s like that all right, illustraion from the papers…

As I’d gone abroad, I’d lost, a ton of my things; my hat, at the home in the small grass hut village, my handbag, left, on the shuttle towards the northeast of China, lost my passport, at the chair of the airport at northern Thailand; as I’d left the hotel in Northern Thailand with the tour group, walked to the elevator, I’d realized, that I didn’t bring along my luggage; as I’d, hiked, and wanted a drink, it’d dawned on me, hey, how come, I feel, so light, I’d, left my pack at the resting gazebo!

The movie ticket set I bought last year, I’d turned the house upside down, and still couldn’t find it, until a few days ago, I couldn’t, find my MRT card, I can only, take out my spare, and, there they were, the EIGHT movie passes, thankfully, they hadn’t expired yet.

My good friend made fun, “thankfully, your head was connected to your neck at birth, otherwise, you would’ve, lost that too!”, being scatterbrained when you’re younger, that’s called forgetful, but, in the elderly years, it’s called, Alzheimer’s, being forgetful, can be troubling, but, being demented, that should be, too awful.  Could it be, that I’d, drunk too much water from the River of Forgetfulness in the past life, that I can’t remember these smaller matters in this?  Thankfully, I still remembered, to follow the right people out, to buy the blue chip stocks, to marry a man, who’s, more intelligent than I am!

And so, despite her forgetfulness, this woman still, managed all right, it’s just, that these smaller things, can become troubling to others around you, and, forgetfulness, may be, an early sign of dementia, so, that’s, something this person needs to, watch out for…

 

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Photos of the Family…

Having these photos, still paled, by comparisons from having each other’s company, translated…

Modern day people, with their cell phones in hand, photos are taken so easily, but, if these photos have the heat attached to them, there would be, more values to them.

which would you prefer, this???  Photo from online…查看來源圖片

The children of my uncle are both married, there’s, just the him and his wife living at home now.  His daughter works in the U.S., rarely had the time to visit Taiwan; their son is also, busy at work, and can only take his wife and children home once a month.  He’d gotten the photos of their family vacations developed, and saved them inside a letter sized photo album.

My aunt who’s now demented will flip through the album at least once a day, and sometimes, she’d pointed to herself in the picture, and asked people around her, who that is?  While my uncle wasn’t the least bit interested in the photos.  As his daughter-in-law told him from before, it took them a lot of money, to have all the photos developed, and my uncle told me privately, that compared to the photographs, he’d preferred that his son can visit him at home more often, or give him a call.  That would have, more heat than these, cold photos!

or this???查看來源圖片

With the advancements in technology, no matter how advance, it still, can’t replace the face-to-face interactions of people.  The photos can only keep the memories, but, they can’t, keep the time that we have with our loved ones.  If we can, take less pictures, spend more time together, the memories saved inside our minds, that, is what’s, most precious.

This, is too true, isn’t it, would you rather, have the photos of all your children, grandchildren, surrounding you, so you can flip through those albums every single day, to remember the times you’d spent together, or, would you rather, have your kids and grandkids around you, to physically interact with?

Two Movie Tickets…

There was, that movie we both wanted to go see, and, I took the liberty, to pre-order the tickets, and yet, I’d, never gone, to see it, with you!

Two movie tickets, they’d, become, yellowed through time, and, they’re, still there, inside that original envelope that they’d come in when I first bought them.

查看來源圖片like, these???  Image found online…

Two movie tickets, we’d, never gotten the opportunities, to go see that “must-see” movie for us both, remember how excited we once were, when it’d, finally come out, we’d, watched the previews on the T.V. commercials, and, saw the segments of it, as we’d, gone to see another movie, remember? And now, those two tickets became, a SORE sort of a reminder, of how easily, things, go to waste!

The two movie tickets, became metaphor of you, of me, it’d become, outdated, the movie had, gone off screen, having run for a couple of weeks, and, everybody who’d, wanted to see it, had already, seen it, save for the both of us…

Two movie tickets, that, was what our love was, reduced to, how odd, that something that was, once so precious, to you and I, can get reduced, to very, quickly, to something, that became, totally, outdated! Two movie tickets, that, is perhaps, what, our love, became: outdated, shown too many times that it’d, grown, old.

breaking up  的圖片結果the one, left behind…photo from online…

Two movie tickets, I still got ‘em here, saved, inside my wallet, don’t know why? Perhaps, to remind myself, to NEVER fall for someone like you again, who knows……………

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Air, My Friend

The column by Jimi Liao, a possible explanation of why people don’t read as much books as they used to, perhaps??? The column by Jimi Liao, translated by me…

If books are like gourmet foods

then maybe, they won’t be unmarketable

But, they would need to go through the serious sanitary checks

and get all their expiration dates ascertained

And so, that, is from a kid’s perspective, perhaps, s/he is having troubles, comprehending, why books are no longer that popular, it’s because of the internet, and how people are now, getting more used to reading things from online, but I still prefer books, with the bindings, the covers, front to back, they feel more, substantial to me…

Saved Your Lies, for a Worse Day…

Still not in my nature, to THROW anything away, fearing, that I may one day, need what I have no use for right now…

So, I’d, saved your lies, for a worse day, but, I’m having better days now, and so, your lies stopped, making their treks across my mind. Saved your lies, for a worse day, I shouldn’t have, I know, because on my worse days, I’d be desperate, for that cheer-me-up, and your lies, just don’t, do the “trick” at all, but, I’d, saved them, for a worse day.

I suppose, it’s how I want to, remind myself, how your lies are, FAR worse than the worse days that I’d currently be, experiencing? Like measuring down, and feeling good ‘bout myself, maybe?

Saved your lies, for a worse day, until, all I got, were your lies, manifesting, into my life, and, every day gets worse than the ones that came previously. This won’t do!

So, I’d, stopped saving your lies, for ANY day, besides, been living with your lies, for too long, it’s time, I’d, cleared them all away, and, the moment I got rid of that latest and last lie of yours, I see the sun, shining on my face…

I will NEVER be, saving your lies again, learned THAT lesson, the HARD way too, don’t you know???

 

 

 

 

 

If You Don’t Love Me…

If you don’t love me, then, don’t hold me, set me free, it wouldn’t be fair, to me, or you, to keep me, hangin’ ‘round! If you don’t love me, just say it already!!!

If you don’t love me, why you still, lettin’ me hang ‘round you, huh? And, shouldn’t we, just break it off, for once, and for all, instead, of, getting comfortable with each other’s bodies? If you don’t love me, just say the word, and I’ll see, where I go from here. But you can’t, you’re, too addicted, to this feeling of ecstasy that you feel when you get into my body, aren’t you???

If you don’t love me, and love’s been, dead, AND gone, buried, TEN-FEET under (‘cuz six feet ain’t deep enough???) many, many, many years ago. If you don’t love me, then, why you still come back ‘round, whenever life beats you down? Because I’m that safe place for you, that you feel, warm and taken care of in? And what makes you believe, that I am, always, going to be, the door that stays open, 24/7, just in case you needed to come and score some, huh???

If you don’t love me, just cut the ties already, oh wait, because you can’t, cut the ties, therefore, I MUST, because that, is how much respect I have, for me, and loving you, would not, be respecting ME enough, and I got, too much SELF-RESPECT, to love anybody like Y-O-U!!!

 

 

 

 

 

Filtering, Through the Static of Your Lies…

This was, what I’d, taught myself to do, as the static of your lies became, too much, too loud, for me to bear, and I’d needed to, find a way, to TUNE it all out somehow…

I thought it may be, easier, if I’d, just, ignored all those, white noises happening in the background, but, the white noises became, too, overtly, cacophonous, and, I just, hear it, ALL the time, no matter where I was!

what I used to hear…from Youtube.com…

Filtering, through the static of your lies, it wasn’t, easy, oh no, it was, extremely, difficult, especially because, I’d still, felt something (still waitin’ for that to finally WEAR off!!!) for you, and, it’s, this slow, gradual, process for me, which I’m, taking it, a day, at a time (kinda like the 12-Step programs for alcoholics or addicts???).

Filtering, through the static of your lies, I finally had, and now, I don’t even, HEAR a single sound (wow, finally became, DEAF after so many, god damn, FUCKING years of living with your lies…), and, I’m enjoying, this, newfound, silence, that I’m currently, surrounded by.

and now…查看來源圖片hear that??? Of course N-O-T!!!  Picture from online…

Filtering, through the static of your lies, it’d been, too long since, I was, hearing NOTHING, absolutely NOT a single sound, and I can, still hear that PIN drop, and, it’s, so totally, amazing, that I’d, sharpened, my own sense of hearing, after I’d, filtered through the STATIC of your L-I-E-S here!!!