A Beast that Lives Inside

There’s, that beast that lives inside, and it just, comes out, as it pleases, wreaking havoc in my life, and afterwards, I’d be left, with this, NASTY clean-up job, on the messes that wasn’t even, made by me!

A beast that lives inside, how do I, contain it?  I can’t, the more I’d worked hard, to build this impenetrable cage to keep it locked up it, the confines I’d made became, easier to break.  A beast that lives inside, how can I contain it?  It’s, out of my control, this beast, I’d kept it, locked up, too little, too long, and now, it’d, broken free, became, uncontrolled, uncontained, running wild.

like this???  Not my sketch…

Having had its tastes of freedom, it’ll, NEVER get back into that cage again willingly I’m sure!  A beast that lives inside, we all have at least one, some of us, have more than one, and, we’d, worked hard, battling them every single day, believing, that their presences are, what made our lives a total mess, when we’re the ones, who are, making our lives, a total mess, and we just, scapegoated, on the beasts that live within each and every one of us…

A beast that lives inside, it’s now, on the outside, it takes over more and more, and I have almost, NO air time in my body these days.  That beast that lives inside had now, taken over my body, it’s now, in control, and yet, whenever it’d, created troubles, it’d, escaped out of me, leaving me, as the one being blamed for its, bad behaviors!

not my sketch still…

 

 

 

 

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Farewell to the Love…

Farewell to the love we’d lost, through our own carelessness, our own stupidity, we’d let, another good kinda love slipped, right through our finger tips.

Farewell to the love, I’d whispered, beneath my breath, as I, set that little boat afloat, into this river of pain! Farewell to the love, I will, NEVER need you back again, after all, that bridge’s done, being crossed AND burned, and, there’s just, NO way ‘round that anymore, is there? Nope!

“Ding-Ding-Ding, Round One”…

not my picture…

Farewell to the love, it’s, really hard, to say goodbye, especially, when I’d still, had all my feelings, attached, and, it’ll take, longer than I expect, for everything, to get LOST. Farewell to the love, I can’t bear it, the thought of you, NOT loving me like you used to anymore. Awwwwwwwwww, it hurt, so bad, it’s like, getting stung by something poisonous, but not quite deadly, you’d feel excruciating pains, feel like, you’re going to die, but, you don’t die, you keep on, living, feeling this, painful sensation that’s, flowing, through your bodies.

Farewell to the love, this, is it, I’m finally done (at least, that, is what my HEAD tells me…), I’m through with Y-O-U now, you will, NEVER get back in again!

and here, comes round T-W-O…

not my painting here!

And yet, here’s my heart, on a “different page”…oh, I long for you so much, I can’t live without you, I need you, right here beside me, holding me close, saying those loving words, to comfort me………

So, which one, should I, allow, to “rule” me? My heart, or my head? I’m leaning towards my head here, but, the heart is, a VITAL organ in my body, and without it, I’m, DEAD for sure!!!

So, the heart won out, this round, and who knows, maybe, my head WILL get the BEST of my heart on the next go ‘round………………

 Final Round…

we’d, reached, a “compromise”, it seems…not my picture still…

 

I Love You, But I Don’t…

We have here, another WWF showdown of Man vs. Self, get ready, set, S-P-L-I-T!!!

I love you, the mirrored image said, but I don’t, I know how I feel about you, and that (pointing to the mirrored reflection…) is not even a real person, but a mere reflection of the person who’s speaking right now.

not my sketch…

I love you, but I don’t, and now, I’m, trapped, in this duality, of battling with myself, on whether or not, I should actually, love you again.  I just, keep running ‘round, in circles, over, over, over, AND over again, like those rats stuck inside the mazes, that hadn’t figured out a way toward that exit yet………

I love you, but I don’t, and why should I, love you?  Because you’re, my one and only???  Get REAL, you are NOT, my one and only, and I realized that, the very last time you came back ‘round, as I saw the shock in those eyes, behind closed doors, I’d realized, that I need to, protect my young.

not my sketch still…

I love you, but I don’t, and I never will, you’d taken advantage of me, again, and again, and again, and I’d, allowed you to, simply because, I was, way too soft before, well, you know what?  I’d, hardened myself up, and now, I can say, with full confidence, that I don’t, love you, and I don’t care what I say, I know, deep down inside, that there’s not, an inkling of love for you, left, inside this, heart of mine now………

The Shadow He’d Casted Never Stood Still When He’d Told it to…

and no, still NOT my photograph here…

We have a case of, Peter Pan, versus his own shadows here…

The shadow he’d casted never stood still when he’d told it to, it refused to follow the “orders” of its “owner”, it kept, making trouble for its “owner”, making him get a super-sized headache.  The shadow he’d casted never stood still when he’d told it to, and, lately, he’d become, more and more troubled by the deranged behaviors of his own shadows: why won’t you just DO as you’re told?  He’d inquired, “because you’re NOT the boss of ME!!!”, came the reply!

The shadow he’d casted never stood still when he’d told it to, the shadow that was once his, now has a mind of its own, as it (the shadow???) got too FUCKING (oopsy!) tired of being ordered around endlessly.

The shadows he’d casted never stood still when he’d told it to, because the shadow has HAD enough!  Why does it always have to wait its turn, to get WHAT it wanted?  Why is he the one, taking it places, instead of him, being hauled along by it?  This, is now how it (the shadow) wanted to live out the remains of its days (however long that may be???), oh no, it has HAD it!!!

Running a Race with Your Own Shadows

Are you plain STUPID???

Why you running a race with your own shadows?  You think you can OUTRUN it, escape it?  Break FREE from it?  You’re NOT Peter Pan you know!

Running a race with your own shadows, you are shoulder-to-shoulder, neck, to neck, and, it’s still NOBODY’s game, because neither one of you is going to beat the other, across the finishing lines…

Running a race with your own shadows, but W-H-Y?  Because just this once, you’d like to feel like a winner, to NOT be behind anybody’s tail, tasting their dust storms?  Is that it?

Running a race with your own shadows, you know, that your own shadows will BEAT you, no matter how quickly you run, no matter how fast a runner you are, no matter how many track meets you’d manage to win, you can NEVER win this race with your own shadow, because, your shadows are there, RIGHT next to you………

Wrestling with the Emotions that Defeats Him

He is constantly, wrestling with the emotions that defeats him, and, he’d been doing so, since, oh, he could ever remember…

Wrestling with the emotions that defeats him, why?  Because he couldn’t just leave it well enough alone, and just allow the world, to BE as is, oh no!  He felt this need, to stick his hand where it don’t belong, and, make a HUGE mess, and, when there’s a HUGE mess, he realized, that he couldn’t DAMN well, clean it up on his own, and, there’s NOBODY he could call, to help him with the cleaning up, and so, he simply, just leave the mess behind, and, go on, to make, his NEXT large pile of mess.

Wresting with the emotions that defeats him, he still couldn’t understand WHY it was, that she’d left him, in his mind, he’d done everything right, provided her with a good neighborhood to live in, name brand bags, name brand clothes, along with all those other, materialistic things too!  Wrestling with the emotions that defeats him, it’s round TEN, and, he ain’t WON once yet!

Wrestling with the emotions that defeats him, he wonders, when, this cycling will finally stop, but, it just, keeps on, rolling, rolling, rolling, ‘cuz he got NO clue, that his sliding down that SLIPPERY S-L-O-P-E…

Two Lines about Man

A little bit of introspections going on here, aye???  Translated…

I’d discussed with myself, the issues of being man, and, the more we’d talked, the more our views differed, and the sharper the tongues got.

The humanity is too obese to the point of looking unnatural, and it wanted to reduce its weight.

And so, you can see here, the man’s battle with himself, which is quite normal, because we battle ourselves every single day, because that, is how we achieve inner growth, by challenging ourselves, to think in varied ways that we wouldn’t normally think in.