A Band-Aid for Each Time Your Heart Got Broken…

How many, band-aids had you already, saved up, huh??? Too many for you to keep track of?

A band-aid for each time your heart got broken, that’s like kissing a child’s “boo-boos”, that doesn’t do SQUAT! A band-aid for each time your heart got broken, and, it (your heart???) had been broken, more times than you can ever recall, and you’re still sinking and swimming (sinking more!) in the seas of bad love.

like this???  not my picture…

A band-aid for each time your heart got broken, well, I’d, ripped ALL those band-aids off my heart that’s gotten broken, repeatedly already, and trust me, you’d rather, do it, quick (‘cuz that way, it’d only, sting for a short while!!!), rather than peeling back the band-aid, slowly!

A band-aid for each time your heart got broken, so, how many band-aids did you, “waste away” already, huh? And, how many more band-aids are you going to go through??? At this “rate”, you’ll be going through ALL the band-aids in the world, and it still won’t quite be enough!!!

better rip it off quick, it’ll only sting a second!!!  Not my photo still…查看來源圖片

A band-aid for each time you got your heart cracked open, doesn’t feel good, as someone REACHED inside of your heart, TEAR it out, ripped it to shreds, then, put those shattered pieces, BACK in, does it??? Of course N-O-T.

 

 

 

Advertisements

Waiting, on a Dream…

Waiting, on a dream, that, is where you’d, left me, high and dry, way back when, and I’d, waited, blindly, believed that this dream, which turned out to be, a L-I-E, was, NEVER going to make.

Waiting, on a dream, that, is what it’d, felt like, being in love, never knowing, when this love will turn, upward, or downward, or if, it’s going to do that tilt-a-whirl thing that’ll make me, throw up like crazy at any time!

waiting on a dream 的圖片結果like climbing up these never-ending stairs, not my illustration.

Waiting on a dream, but why?  I’m not stupid you know!  Waiting on a dream, that’s something, only the young AND the naïve (yes, you must possess both of these “qualities”…) can have the luxuries of, for the rest of us, we simply, can’t afford it.

Waiting on a dream, for so long now, and, knowing it’s nowhere NEAR, comin’ true, became a part of my everyday life, and yet, I’d wondered at times, late at night, why, I’m still, waiting on………you???  Just can’t, quite figure it all out is the thing.

an empty park bench 的圖片結果

like this, perhaps???  Not my photograph…

Waiting on a dream, no more, I won’t, wait again, been waiting, my whole life, for that train (or that ship???) that’s already, left where I was, and now, perhaps, it’s, my time, to march onward, with the rest of my life, instead of, getting, trapped by these moments, in my past………

The Dance that Never Ends…

There’s that dance that never ends, even AFTER the music had, ceased to exist.

The dance that never ends, we are, engaged in, and this had been started, since the beginning, of everything.  We’re, engaged in this, never-ending tug-of-war, with neither one of us admitting that we can’t win, neither of us, willing to cave!

The dance that never ends, it’d gone on, for years since it started, long, long ago, and now, I’d finally become, too tired to even mumble a single word, or even, make a sound.  The dance that never ends, finally ended, the day they’d, lain me in the ground.

from this, not my photograph…

The dance that never ends, it’s troubling, I know, why two people keep on, torturing each other, in the name of “LOVE”, when there wasn’t an ounce of it to begin with………

The dance that never ends, that, is what this is, and instead of a pas de deux, I’m performing this TANGO, with nobody ELSE but me!!!

The dance that never ends, well, it’d ended all right, after the music had died, the lights turned off, the curtains drawn, the members of the audience, leaving the concert hall, and there’s, just Y-O-U who’s left………so, where am I?  Oh wait, I’d, left the building (just like Elvis!!!).

To this…not my photo still

Elephants in THIS Room…

Is this, due to the hallucinogen that I’d, “accidentally” INGESTED a short while ago???  I really can’t tell…

There are, elephants in this room, and, they’re, blocking everything up!  Can’t you see them?  There’s one, eating the plasters of the wall (and god DAMN it, I just, repainted that particular wall, JUST last week too!!!).

Elephants in THIS room, they’d become, totally, distracting, they’d, taxed out both our attentions, that we could no longer, focus on the most important thing here in our lives: our marriage, this family we’d, started…

and see how there’s not much room for ANYTHING else, after that elephant got SHOVED, into the room here??? EXACTLY!  Not my painting…

Elephants in THIS room, maybe, if I just, ignore them, they’ll just, go away (uh, yeah right!!!), but, they’re, so enormous, they’d become, this EYE-SORE, they don’t even go with MY home décor, so, how can I just, overlook them, huh???  Elephants in THIS room, maybe, I should just, round them all up (like in a rodeo???), and, take them outside into the yard, or maybe, I should call in ANIMAL control instead, they’ll know what to do!

Elephants in THIS room, they’re not temporary, oh no, they’re, here to stay, indefinitely, until YOU start to communicate with me, but, you’d, SHUT down completely, and, nothing I’m saying, is getting through to you.  It’s like, I’m just, SCREAMING, getting ANGRY AT the W-A-L-L here, god DAMN it, it’s so, frustrating……………

Elephants are no longer, in THIS room of mine, I’d, handed them the EVICTION notice, as I AM the LANDLADY, and I took back control over EVERYTHING in my GOD DAMN F***ED up life already!!!

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Mother’s New Clothes

The immaturity of a woman, blaming her not being able to achieve her own dreams on her family, translated…

I’d gone to the nursing home to visit my mother, I saw her in a beige lace dress, with the two sleeves’ designs being different.  Because it was hot, she didn’t have a camisole, the holes on the lace showed her skin, I couldn’t help but joked with her, “Very sexy!  Very fashionable!”, my mother smiled and told, that it was my younger sister who’d found the time, to make it for her.  Turning the conversations, she’d mentioned how my younger sister still complained about how the family didn’t allow her to go into clothing design.  My mother started getting red in the eyes, “Back then, your younger sister went to a home ec school, your younger brother in a technical high school, they’re both private schools, how can I possibly produce the extra money she’d needed for the materials for the clothes designing course she would need?  It was quite costly, to get the materials too.  I can’t imagine that she’d regretted that up until now, it’d made me feel so awful, not being able to give her what she wanted.”  I’d fallen silent then, and my mind already, drifted to what happened after the college entrance exam grades were posted.

Some forty odd years ago, I’d gotten into a private university, based off of the rate of acceptance, it was, nothing easy; as I was happy, getting ready to go to school, my mother had me follow a distant relative, to take the exams to enter into the night department of a public university.  And, as the test results came, my relative didn’t get in, but I had.  Ever since, my life got turned upside down, for the sake of my family’s economics, I’d worked days, and rushed to school at nights, and, ulcer found me.  I’d turned in my wages completely to my mother, to help out with the household expenses, as well as the tuitions of my younger siblings too.

I’d felt awful, why did my parents have to sacrifice me?  Especially when my father would often tell the relatives, “the pigs don’t get fat, the dog had”.  It’d hurt me more, just because I’m good at studying, and my younger brother, the only son, couldn’t manage his schoolwork even WITH the help from a private tutor.  Gladly, there were classmates who were older in the night school division, who’d worked in banks, post offices, and schools, they’d given me a lot of advice in life, and, I’d gained a ton of knowledge from their experiences in work too, I’d gotten into a public post by taking the exams before I graduated.  With the passing of time, I’d believed, that so long as a person is willing to work, to NOT give up, the heavens will have the best plans for you.

Before I left the nursing home, I’d told my mother, “Younger sister is fifty-seven, if she is really interested in clothes designs, instead of complaining of not having the chance when she was younger, she should just go and reach for her dreams now.”  I’d felt an assortment of emotions, and couldn’t understand, why my younger sister was so hung up on what she’d not had the chance of having back then, and neglected how much others had given up for her sake?

So, this, is on someone, blaming one’s own loved ones for not being able to accomplish one’s dreams, and it’s quite irresponsible, because, you’re the one who have the right, to reach for, to achieve, those goals you want to achieve, and instead of working hard toward that goal of yours, you’d, BLAMED it on your family’s inability to put you through school back when you were younger, that’s just, NOT wanting to take responsibility for your own life!

Erased Those Dreams

You took that eraser, and went across, all those dreams we’d, ever shared from before, and in less than an instant’s time, they’re, all gone!

Erased those dreams, and now, I can’t even recall, what any single one of them entailed, it’s like, I’d gotten, amnesia or something, odd, really, ‘cuz those dreams meant so very much, to me from before, and now………nothing remained.

like that!  Not my photo…

Erased those dreams, like how you and I, never even, existed at all, despite how hard we’d both worked, to salvage this love, you’d still decided, to pull the plug at the end!  Erased those dreams, and now, there’s, not any of us to live in.

Erased those dreams, so, dream up new ones!  It’s not that easy, after all, you’d, lost the trust you’d placed in that someone special, as s/he’d, betrayed your trust, and, made you, lost that important faith you have in your selves, and it’ll take, a very, very, very long time, for you, to find back that lost trust you’d originally had, in your selves from before!

Erased those dreams, let there be, no traces of them left, in my life, I’m, moving on, without the ball and chains these dreams have, holding me back now………

notmy photo still…

 

These Leftover Dreams…

These, leftover dreams, they’d, no longer tasted fresh, and yet, we’re still, keeping them, why?

These, leftover dreams, from god KNOWS how long ago, look at all those age spots, all those wrinkles on them?  Why are we, bothering, keeping up with them, huh?  They’re, so outdated, and useless now!

like these???  not my photograph.

These, leftover dreams, like those takeout boxes you have from your leftovers at the restaurants, you take them home, stick it into the fridge and, forget about their existences, until one day, as you, rummage through the fridge, came that STENCH, then, you start, digging into the DEPTH of those slots inside the fridge, and find it…………

These, leftover dreams, we should probably just, throw them out, they’re, NOT fresh anymore, I mean, we can, always, make them up again, can’t we?  After all, they all came out of, our minds, didn’t they?  And, so long as our minds are still, functional, then, making more of them dreams should be, a cinch, isn’t that right???

So, just, throw these, leftover dreams away, they’re, taking up too much space, cramping MY style (as I KNOW I HATE clutters!!!), and, there’s just, NO more extra room here, for them, and, I refuse, to take out a storage unit for all of their sakes!  (Costs money, energy to maintain the storage, etc., etc., etc., etc., you know how the drill goes!)

like leftover foods, it all, goes into the TRASH!!!  Not my photo still…