The Lessons that Regrets Have to Offer Us…

If you don’t have a single regret in your lives, then, congrats, on being one in a zillion (just like ME!!!  Wow, I feel, so special right now…).

There are, however, lessons that we can learn from our regrets, remember how regret felt (doesn’t feel too good, does it???  Of course not!!!), and, wouldn’t you WANT to NEVER feel like that again?  Exactly!  And that, IS the precise lesson that regrets have to offer us.

Now, how to go about living your lives, without ANY regrets, that, would be a form of art, I suppose.  And, because of everything that’s happened in my life, that’s been beyond MY control (hello, hello, hello, how the FUCK do I know I was going to be the one, getting POPPED out???), and because it’s all fate, and who the hell, am I, to argue with fate, right?  So, I’d, SCRAPPED regret, OUT of my life completely.

And, there’s, no right or wrong way to approach dealing with your separate regrets, but, generally, regrets can be, divided into TWO “sections”, one, the ones you have no control over, the other, the ones you HAVE control over, and, the only one you can work on, to MAKE a difference in would be the “section” that you HAVE control over.

There’s, nothing else you can do, after you’d, worked through the regrets you have control over, besides, fate’s in charge, hello, hello, hello???  Haven’t we gone over ALL of that previously???  Exactly!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Photos of the Family…

Having these photos, still paled, by comparisons from having each other’s company, translated…

Modern day people, with their cell phones in hand, photos are taken so easily, but, if these photos have the heat attached to them, there would be, more values to them.

which would you prefer, this???  Photo from online…查看來源圖片

The children of my uncle are both married, there’s, just the him and his wife living at home now.  His daughter works in the U.S., rarely had the time to visit Taiwan; their son is also, busy at work, and can only take his wife and children home once a month.  He’d gotten the photos of their family vacations developed, and saved them inside a letter sized photo album.

My aunt who’s now demented will flip through the album at least once a day, and sometimes, she’d pointed to herself in the picture, and asked people around her, who that is?  While my uncle wasn’t the least bit interested in the photos.  As his daughter-in-law told him from before, it took them a lot of money, to have all the photos developed, and my uncle told me privately, that compared to the photographs, he’d preferred that his son can visit him at home more often, or give him a call.  That would have, more heat than these, cold photos!

or this???查看來源圖片

With the advancements in technology, no matter how advance, it still, can’t replace the face-to-face interactions of people.  The photos can only keep the memories, but, they can’t, keep the time that we have with our loved ones.  If we can, take less pictures, spend more time together, the memories saved inside our minds, that, is what’s, most precious.

This, is too true, isn’t it, would you rather, have the photos of all your children, grandchildren, surrounding you, so you can flip through those albums every single day, to remember the times you’d spent together, or, would you rather, have your kids and grandkids around you, to physically interact with?

Flustered

You broke me!…查看來源圖片like this???  Sketch found online…

From a blog in Chinese I’m a subscriber to, translated, by me…

On the Green Pastures

I’d, Lost My Self

During the Long & Winded Season of Rain

I’d, Allowed Myself Go

On a Night, Populated, by No Other

查看來源圖片hurt, doesn’t it???  Sketch found online…

Thought I Could, Forget………

But I’d Become, Red-Eyed

the Moment I’d, Met You

You’d, Walked Right Through Me

I Know I Should, Give Up

But, I Stood Still

in the Crossing

Staring, at Your Backside

And so, this, is how someone TORTURES oneself, the person your in love with no longer loves you, but you can’t, quite let him go yet, and, there’s, nothing you can do, but to just, wait, and cry, as hard and as frequently as you may need to, until one day, that person, no longer roused up any sort of an inkling of an emotion from you again, then, you’d, successfully, gotten over the person!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flustered

From a blog in Chinese I’m a subscriber to, translated, by me…

On the Green Pastures

I’d, Lost My Self

During the Long & Winded Season of Rain

I’d, Allowed Myself Go

On a Night, Populated, by No Other

Thought I Could, Forget………

But I’d Become, Red-Eyed

the Moment I’d, Met You

You’d, Walked Right Through Me

I Know I Should, Give Up

But, I Stood Still

in the Crossing

Staring, at Your Backside

And so, this, is how someone TORTURES oneself, the person your in love with no longer loves you, but you can’t, quite let him go yet, and, there’s, nothing you can do, but to just, wait, and cry, as hard and as frequently as you may need to, until one day, that person, no longer roused up any sort of an inkling of an emotion from you again, then, you’d, successfully, gotten over the person!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Know You’re Quite Uncertain, But That’s Okay, a Poem

The only thing that’s certain here is, EVERYTHING G-O-E-S, away!!! Translated…

The Light’s Sure of the Fuses

The Fires, Certainly Hot

The Wind’s Certain of Hugs

The Flowers, Destined, to Wither

Loss

Certain of the Time

You

Certain of Me

So, this, is the certains of that inevitable goodbye, no matter how close the two of you are right now, everything will eventually, END, just like how the flowers will eventually, wither away, how the fires are certainly always and forever going to be, H-O-T, because everything WILL eventually, come to that E-N-D, as it’s all, supposed to.

 

 

 

 

Don’t Walk into People’s Lives at Random

If you’re not ready to take the responsibilities for another life, then, don’t take it home with you, otherwise, you will, live with the guilt on your conscience for a very long time! Translated…

I loved animals dearly, I’d had dogs, cats, ants, crabs, squirrels, fish, turtle, shrimps, chickens, ducks, rabbits, silkworms, birds, as well as insects too………I’d not had enough allowances, never went into a pet shop, the pets I had, I’d either picked them up at the sides of the roads, caught them in the creeks, or it’s the ones that someone had disposed of.

One day in sixth grade, when I got off at school, I saw a yellow fluffy puppy at the side of the road, about eight weeks of age, very cute, it kept following me and barked, like it was trying to get my attention. I’d turned around, extended my arms, then, the furry little guy kept wagging its tail, and rushed into my arms, I’d carried this furry little guy in my arms. And, I couldn’t, put him back down again, like there was, an emotional attachment that was, so suddenly established, in that split second of a moment in time, I’d felt that it’d needed me, and so, I’d, taken the puppy home.

And, as my family saw how I’d, picked up, yet another creature, they’d gotten used to it, and, nagged a bit, then, left me alone. That very evening, I’d, named it, “Dong-Dong”, found a bowl, and got it its food, we’d enjoyed two hours’ worth of happy time together. Then, Dong-Dong crapped, I’d tried to pick up his soft stool with the newspaper, then, mopped up the floors. Then, he’d, pooped again, I’d cleaned that up again too. At that very moment, I’d lost any enthusiasm for playing with the puppy, and, Dong-Dong’s cuteness was, completely, destroyed by his poop. The very next day, I’d, attempted to train it to go on the newspapers, I’d even picked up a piece of chicken to encourage him, but, being just eight weeks of age, he couldn’t learn yet, just, ate the chicken, and, pooped away from the papers. I’d felt so defeated, felt, that having a dog is so bothersome. On third day, I’d, carried Dong-Dong downstairs, put him out on the road, quickly turned around, closed the door, walked upstairs alone, and ended this relationship I had with him, of no more than forty-eight hours. I stood on the lanai, watched him scratch the door hard, and he’d started, whining too, I’d felt so guilty, I couldn’t even, look into his eyes. Being only twelve, I can only tell myself, that he was naturally a stray, I’d only taken him home to play for three days, and now, I’d just, gave him back to the streets where I’d, found him.

But is it really so? Dong-Dong cried through the night outside, and didn’t leave until early the following morn, I knew that he was crying, not because of how cold it was out, nor was he crying from the hunger, but because of how I’d, abandoned him so heartlessly. Many years later, I’d often wondered, where had life taken Dong-Dong? I really do hope, that he was taken home by someone who truly, loved him who’s responsible, but there’s, that higher possibility of him, becoming a stray without an owner, living on an empty stomach, and, getting caught and euthanized by the animal squad at the end.

This made me think of the Fox’s reminder to the little prince in “Le Petit Prince”, “Always have that responsibility for something you’d, domesticated”. Could it be, that Dong-Dong never really needed me at all, for him, I was like all those who’d passed him by, without any scent of attachment. That I was feeling this from my own guilt, thought that he’d, needed me, and started up a relationship with him, named him, and attempted to, “domesticate” him. And, my meaning to Dong-Dong became, different, as he’d made me into his owner, I’d, needed to hold up the burdens of his life, and, there’s that, invisible sort of a contract between us then, and this invisible contract was “responsibility”.

After that, there’s a long time that I’d not had any more pets. I’d told myself, if I wasn’t ready, don’t enter into someone else’s life, and don’t let anybody enter into mine either.

And so, this, is a lesson, taught by your GUILT, on responsibilities, and, I’m sure, that this experience in your younger years had, impacted you very much, because now, you’ll always be wondering, where is that dog that I’d, taken home once, is he okay? Did he end up finding another better owner than me?

A Dusty Reminder, of His Shiny Moments…

That championship trophy he’d won for his team became nothing more than a dusty reminder, of his shiny moments, and, now??? He’d gotten, that fat belly, from drinkin’ too much, and as a COUCH potato.

It’s hard to imagine, from the way he’d looked right now, that he was once, so hot, so handsome, so fit, but hey, we ALL had our moments, don’t we? A dusty reminder, of his shiny moments, that, is what his whole life’s been about, he’d, gone by his parents’ wishes, gone to state on a full sports scholarship, he would’ve gone pro too, had he not, sustained a serious injury, that took him OUT of the sports ring!

查看來源圖片like these, somewhere, stashed, in an unknown attic, tarnished…not my photo…

And, after that STAR had, lost its, shine, he’d become, less than mediocre, he only found work in that factory, slaving his life away, for less than minimum pay, with NO sure retirement pension either!

And yet, whenever he’d started at the trophy that was placed, at the mantle, it’s like, he’d gotten, turned back, into the KING of the world, and yup, in a sense, he is, a king, a king of his, double-wide!!!

A dusty reminder, of his shiny moments, that, is all that he has now, as he sat on that couch with the BUTT imprint, scratching himself, in unsightly places, with the T.V. blasting loud, to drown out the memories of all of those, could’ve been, should’ve been, and would’ve’s………

My Husband’s Lifelong Dreams

Battling with herself, in whether or not to stand behind her husband’s dreams of owning a heavyset motorcycle, after all, it is, his, lifelong dream, and he’d, given everything he had, to his loved ones, translated…

After reading “Giving it a Shot” on January 21st, the writer in order to take one regret off her husband’s bucket list, she’d chosen to let go, to let him live his dreams, and stood behind him in his entrepreneurship in midlife, it’d, touched me.

My husband’s dreams consisted of owning a heavyset motorcycle, to feel the wind in his face. A decade ago, he’d passed his motorist license test, he was, a step closer to this dream of his, there was, a long time, that during the weekends or holidays, we’d, gone touring to the heavyset motorcycle shops.

to do this…photo from online…

But, the cost of one motorcycle runs in the million dollar range, it wasn’t, a normal family with regular wages can afford, plus, there were, the news of how people were killed and injured seriously in these, motorist accidents, and so, I wasn’t, supportive of him owning a heavyset motorcycle. Besides, my husband is not tall, and after he’d gained weight in midlife, he’d looked more like a “potato, with four toothpicks” after he’d fitted himself in the leather attire for riding, too far from “handsome”. The pressures from the household economics, his wife’s worries, plus not looking as thrifty as he thought he would after getting equipped up, he’d decided, to temporarily, drop this dream of owning a heavy motorcycle, to save up the money, and lose some weight first.

At the end of last year, he’d come to me, timidly, said, that there was a heavy set motorcycle made in Taiwan, that’s, a bit cheaper, and fitted to his height. “I’m getting older now, I won’t ride too fast, you shouldn’t worry, plus, I’m 55 next year, if I don’t buy it now, I won’t have another chance to see my dreams come true!” And, seeing how sorrowful and pitiful he’d looked, I’d, bitten down hard, closed my eyes, then, nodded at him.

He’d gladly told all his friends and families, but, the voices stacked up against him. All who knew him, tried deterring him due to reasons of safety, and how he’s, older, and blamed me for not putting an end to his nonsense, and he’d, become, hesitant.

Not long thereafter, he’d tossed out the cherished photographs of those heavyset motorcycle that he’d gone to look at three times a day, and decided to give it all up. I’d asked him, out of shock, repeatedly, are you sure? Don’t you think it’ll be a shame? He said, that his hobby had, caused so many that he’d cared about to worry over him, that it wasn’t, worth it.

Of course, I was very happy, that this, was the end of that, but, as I’d, thought about how hard he’d, saved every last penny he’d earned to give to this family, and only had this “small” dreams that’s his own, that he’d dreamed of his whole life, and couldn’t see come true, I’d felt, a bit, bad for him. And after reading, “Rolling that die”, I’d thought, that maybe, I should be like the writer, and just, support my husband, in his dreams too.

And so, after her husband finally gave up the thought of owning a heavyset motorcycle, this woman should be hooraying, but she wasn’t, because she’d realized, that it was her husband’s lifelong dream to own a heavyset motorcycle, and, that if she doesn’t support him, then, who will?