The immaturity of a woman, blaming her not being able to achieve her own dreams on her family, translated…
I’d gone to the nursing home to visit my mother, I saw her in a beige lace dress, with the two sleeves’ designs being different. Because it was hot, she didn’t have a camisole, the holes on the lace showed her skin, I couldn’t help but joked with her, “Very sexy! Very fashionable!”, my mother smiled and told, that it was my younger sister who’d found the time, to make it for her. Turning the conversations, she’d mentioned how my younger sister still complained about how the family didn’t allow her to go into clothing design. My mother started getting red in the eyes, “Back then, your younger sister went to a home ec school, your younger brother in a technical high school, they’re both private schools, how can I possibly produce the extra money she’d needed for the materials for the clothes designing course she would need? It was quite costly, to get the materials too. I can’t imagine that she’d regretted that up until now, it’d made me feel so awful, not being able to give her what she wanted.” I’d fallen silent then, and my mind already, drifted to what happened after the college entrance exam grades were posted.
Some forty odd years ago, I’d gotten into a private university, based off of the rate of acceptance, it was, nothing easy; as I was happy, getting ready to go to school, my mother had me follow a distant relative, to take the exams to enter into the night department of a public university. And, as the test results came, my relative didn’t get in, but I had. Ever since, my life got turned upside down, for the sake of my family’s economics, I’d worked days, and rushed to school at nights, and, ulcer found me. I’d turned in my wages completely to my mother, to help out with the household expenses, as well as the tuitions of my younger siblings too.
I’d felt awful, why did my parents have to sacrifice me? Especially when my father would often tell the relatives, “the pigs don’t get fat, the dog had”. It’d hurt me more, just because I’m good at studying, and my younger brother, the only son, couldn’t manage his schoolwork even WITH the help from a private tutor. Gladly, there were classmates who were older in the night school division, who’d worked in banks, post offices, and schools, they’d given me a lot of advice in life, and, I’d gained a ton of knowledge from their experiences in work too, I’d gotten into a public post by taking the exams before I graduated. With the passing of time, I’d believed, that so long as a person is willing to work, to NOT give up, the heavens will have the best plans for you.
Before I left the nursing home, I’d told my mother, “Younger sister is fifty-seven, if she is really interested in clothes designs, instead of complaining of not having the chance when she was younger, she should just go and reach for her dreams now.” I’d felt an assortment of emotions, and couldn’t understand, why my younger sister was so hung up on what she’d not had the chance of having back then, and neglected how much others had given up for her sake?
So, this, is on someone, blaming one’s own loved ones for not being able to accomplish one’s dreams, and it’s quite irresponsible, because, you’re the one who have the right, to reach for, to achieve, those goals you want to achieve, and instead of working hard toward that goal of yours, you’d, BLAMED it on your family’s inability to put you through school back when you were younger, that’s just, NOT wanting to take responsibility for your own life!