What are You Doing Inside of My Tummy?

The experiences of the child living inside of his own mother’s uterus, and, do we know if this is real or not???  Uh, no we don’t!!!  Translated…

My son started learning to talk at two, “with slurs”, sometimes, only mom and dad can understand him.  But, it’s always interesting, as a child start to talk, and as his mother, I’d often asked him, “What are you doing inside in my stomach?”, Mr. Baldy thought a bit, then stated, “I’m exercising”, I’d asked him what exercises he was doing?  He’d started performing the kicks; I’d asked him what else he did?  He’d told me playing with ropes and sleep; I’d asked him where he’d come from?  He’d thought for a while, and, squeezed out his double chin, smiled at me, with no answers.

can the child really hear inside the mother’s uterus???  We don’t really know for sure!

And my son who’s fearful of people he doesn’t know became the best of pals with his aunty Der-Fang, said that he’d met her back when he was in utero; recalling, how after I’d moved to Germany after I got pregnant, the very first Taiwanese friend I’d made was, Der-Fang.  And I’d asked him, what else he saw, he’d told me it was often quite dark, and he couldn’t see a thing, and when there was light, he saw a horse.  A horse?  Was it that stuffed toy horse we hauled from London, Dash?

What does the memories in utero consist of?  An active imagination?  Or was it from real experiences?  I really wouldn’t know, but, as mom, I’m having a great time, having my young son remember things from when he was still inside of my body.

So, this has still YET to be tested: do children REALLY remember WHAT was going on when they are still living in the uterus?  Nobody knows, but just like this mother’s experiences, she didn’t know if her young son’s memories from before he was born were real, but she was having a fun time, asking her young child about it!


The Miracle in a Car Crash

Being a survivor of a DEADLY CRASH, you must be ultra blessed, right???  Yeah, uh that’s, just what YOU think!!!  Translated…

It was the start of autumn, at sunset, but the sky was still light.  Yen Feng sat on a Mercedes C350, the car was speeding on the Keelung-Jingshan Freeway’s Shanzhong section, circling.  This was assigned, at random after her retreat, the drivers gave a couple of people who didn’t drive a ride back home.  The driver was Mr. Chao, the owner of the Mercedes, an owner of a foreign trading company, with a friend, the owner of an electronic wholesale group, Mr. Hong.  On the right of the backseat was Yen Feng, the writer, the left, the female editor-in-chief of a publishing company.  This time, the attendees of the Zen retreat were either owners of mid-size companies, or those who are famous in the realm of writing and the arts.  The seven, eight cars drove up the pass connecting the temple to the outside world, then, southbound on the Keelung-Jingshan Freeway, toward Keelung, then, the freeway toward Taipei, then, they’d go home separately.

Yen Feng usually gets intoxicated by the sights in nature, the pass of the freeway winded up and down the mountains, and those green mountaintops entered into her field of vision, the female editor-in-chief was dozing off beside her.  Yen Feng looked out the window, they were driving down from a steep mountain, the car turned from the very top of the mountain, spiraling downward, they’re reaching the third spiral now, Yen Feng saw the last two spirals they’d managed to drive past, there were, a dozen meters between the two connected spirals.

Suddenly, she saw there was a small truck on the spiral above where they were, with the flickering headlights like a firefly, suddenly, that truck flew away out of the roads, and, fell before her eyes, and, landed before their car, and hit the left front side of the Mercedes, rammed to the left side of the roads, the truck spun around in a circle, then, hit the tail of the Benz.  Mr. Chao who was driving immediately slammed on the brakes, and, the Mercedes was well-functioning, it’d stopped both cars.

The four on the Mercedes were thrilled, dumbfounded for a few seconds, the driver and the passenger on the front witnessed the truck falling from the skies, and hit the front of the car, then suddenly, rammed into the front of the car, then, they’d felt that they were hit from behind, the car tilted back and front, but because both individuals on the front had seatbelts on, neither was injured.  The two on the backseat didn’t have the belts on, Yen Feng clearly saw the truck falling from the sky, her body had stopped her from getting thrown from the car.  Yen Feng heard a loud bang coming from her left side, it was the female editor-in-chief, hitting her head on the ceiling of the car as she was dreaming, she’d opened up her eyes, not knowing what just happened, felt her eyes go dark, and a bit dizzy.

The very first reaction that Yen Feng had was, she should leave the car immediately, and the scene of a car burning up in the movies flashed across her mind.  She’d pushed at the car door, it could open, she’d immediately gotten out.  At which time, the two business owners on the front exited from the right passenger side, because the door on the driver side was dented and couldn’t open.  The three of them went to check the part of the car that got rammed in.  Horrid!  The steel plate and the left headlight was, completely, shaved off, and flew off the roads.  Mr. Chao immediately called the tow, Mr. Hong called the police to report the accident.  Yen Feng saw that the female editor-in-chief hadn’t gotten out yet, she’d opened up the door for her, saw her dumbfounded inside, she’d helped her out of the car, the female editor told her she was okay, and she’d stood by the side of the road, at this time, the cars from both the left and the right stopped, there were, twenty, to thirty cars on each side.  There were four cars from the retreat following the Benz, they’d all gotten out to check, saw two cars that rammed into each other, orderly on the right side of the pass, there were two of the classmates, who’d immediately gone to direct the traffic, so the traffic can pass from the left side.

Yen Feng followed everybody to check on the condition of the truck, it was a very old blue pickup, without any cargo on the back.  There was just the driver on the front, he was moaning in pain, both sides of the doors were squished flat, someone tried opening the door, but couldn’t.  The driver was around forty, with a dark complexion, it was a miracle he was still alive.  He’d driven down a sharp slope of forty-five degrees, and below the crash site was a straight drop downward.  Had the truck flew down a little bit off than it had, it would’ve fallen into the valleys, and, the car ruined, the life of the truck driver lost.  Had the truck flew directly downward and rammed into the Mercedes head on, there would’ve been, five casualties.  After the truck rammed into the Benz, it’d not fallen into the valley below, instead, it’d spun around in a complete circle, and tailgated the Benz, to a silent stop, that, was odd.  There’s only a billion in one chance, that an accident like this ended like it had, wouldn’t you say?

Thirty minutes later, the police arrived, the firefighters sawed through the pickup, one leg of the driver was stuck, the paramedics pulled him out, and lifted him onto the ambulance.  Thankfully, there are still room in the other cars from the members of the retreat, the female editor-in-chief got in one, the two business owners and Yen Feng got on an SUV, a car, consisted of six people.  Other than Yen Feng, the five others in the car discussed the accident with excitement that just happened.  Yen Feng had calmed herself down, and after she’d alighted the car, she’d flown into a state of panic, so she didn’t make a sound.  There were two lines that the other five shared in conversation that registered into her mind, “That driver would’ve died for sure, but because the four of you just went to the retreat, you’d managed to, save his life.”  The owner of the Mercedes, Mr. Chao said, “It’s a miracle, there must be a guardian angel among us, one of us in that Mercedes is destined for greatness in the future!”

Yen Feng thought, that that man would definitely not be the owner of the Mercedes, because he’d lost a lot in the accident.  And in the following months, she’d gotten the news from the students’ e-mail, that the female editor-in-chief entered into the hospital the very next day after the accident, she’d gone into the hospital three times, and took a long leave of absence, because she had a severe concussion.  The truck driver had one of his legs amputated, reason being he was dozing off driving the pickup.  Then, Yen Feng thought, could it be her, that Mr. Chao was talking about.

Ever since, Yen Feng had that sense of duty, she’d worked hard, studying the teachings of Buddha, and showed more of her positive thoughts in her work, and after sowing down the seeds of kindness, she’d become a famous Buddhist writer.  A decade later she was watching an American program, “Survivor”.  What caught her attention wasn’t the show, but the word, “Survivor”.  She kept believing, that she had angels watching over her, that she’s someone important, suddenly, she’d realized, that she had an inflated ego all these years, she was nothing more than the sole survivor of a horrible accident, it was luck that she wasn’t injured, that she’d, survived, and that she should spend the rest of her life to be thankful, to learn about herself more.

So, this is a SHOCKING realization that came to this woman years AFTER she’d survived the crash, and, from before, she boosted her own ego that she had survived, without a single scratch on her, and attributed it to how special she was, but in the end, it was only because of LUCK (or so she thought!!!) that’s made her survive, or maybe, FATE had her learn this lesson about why she didn’t die, many, many, many years later after the accident…

The Smaller Parts of Autumn, a Poem

The heat of the summer, slowly died down, and now, comes that transition into the winter season, autumn, with the colorful leaves…translated…

There’s, that Hint, of the Rhymes from the New Snow on Your Hair

Like How the Fingerprints Glided Through the Verbs of the Day

not my oil painting of autumn…

The Early Autumn with that Cleanliness, Washed Clean the Illnesses Close by

And Dripped onto that Crystal Clear Lake Inside that Vast Mind

The Spheres of September Like the Fuller Cloud Packed with the Lyrics & Stanzas

Slowly, Drifted Along the Messy Pages, Keying in, the Metaphors & Similes

In the Loosely Structured Leaves, Making the Orders

The Evolved Autumn Sounded Off, in that High Note, with a Scent of Nostalgia

picture from online…

So that, is how autumn made you feel, it gives you that sense of things ending, because the seasons had come to a close, or about to, as everything started changing colors around you, and nature just, didn’t have that vivaciousness of spring or summer anymore…

By the Harbor, a Poem

Painting the colorful autumn, with these words, translated…

Autumn, Quite like a Second Spring.  Every Leaf Fallen, Like Each & Every Flower.~~~A. Camus.

Back Then

The Golden Décor Were All Over the Ground

Marking the Passageway to Wonderland

They’d Walked in Relaxed Strides

something like this?  Very picturesque, isn’t it?  Not my photo…

Knowing How

To Turn those Ruffled Wedding Gowns

Into the Fields of Flowers with the Wind Through Them

And the Snow Bubbles Hollowed at the Centers

Didn’t Pass Through the Longitudes

Putting that Unwoven Silk

not my animation…

Onto You, and Took the Chance to

Drift Away

Stealthily Attacking the Coastside

Were the Resonating Echoes within the Cocoons

Seemingly Audible

The Autumn

shades of orange, yellow, and red, not my photograph…

For This Second Spring

Pinned on that Second Flower

Then, the Flames Shall Rise from the Waves

But, are the Leaves by the Harbor

Used as Fuels?

So, you can see that picture of a harbor during the autumn, with the waves still blue as always, but the fallen leaves having turned red and yellow, and falling over the places, can’t you?











The First Day of Autumn, a Poem

A lot of imageries in this poem, translated…

The First Day of Autumn Merely Signifies

that the Trees Outside Should Fall Asleep Sooner

The Cicada Calls During August

Were Said to be the one of the things you would think about when you think of the autumn season, photo from online…

Only Soprano of the Universe



Sounded Like a Proclamation

Some Sort of a Godly Metaphor

But the Heat of August

Became Like Monsters

Still Run Loosely Inside the Bones


and this too, photo from online also…with all the harvesting done, and ready for the winter season…photo from online…

Threatening that They’ll, Gnaw Out

All the Good Tempers We’d Accumulated Before the First Day of Autumn

Don’t Believe Me

Look at that Soft-Glow of the Moonlight

from Last Night

Still Smoking

Splashing itself All Over the

Rough Surfaces of the Rocks There

and here’s, that one last look at that autumn sun!  photo still from online…

So, this paints a beautiful picture of the moonlight on the rocks, and, there’s that contrast of the heat during the still quite hot autumn air, but the heats begun, to die down a little bit here, as the seasons changed…………



The Stories that Burned Here…


At first, my daughters are going to college, and I’d decided to pray for my children who are away for college.  At dawn, I’d lit up a candle.  As night falls, I’d also, light one up too.  Some of the candles were scented, some weren’t, but, they’d given off the same light and heat.

As the candles started burning, I’d silently prayed, that my daughters will have light and warmth in their lives, and hoped that they can pass the light and hope in their lives on to others.  In the light of the candles, I’d also gotten a clearer look at my own shortcomings and faults.

the photo that came attached to this prose, from the papers…


Later, as I was lighting up the candles, I’d thought about more things, and started praying for more things, as well as more people too.  One day, I’d hoped, to leave this light, as well as the heat as prove, and so, I’d kept the candles I’d burned, as well as the matches I’d lit up the candles with as proof, placed them for keeps, inside two separate glass jars.

And today, the glass jar with the used candles was, overflowing, while the jar with the matches still has a lot of room.  The matches and the candles, they are made from very different materials, and not shared the same functions, with the various sizes too, but, they’d burned together, perfectly, creating that light and heat, one can be without the other.  I looked at them, and was in awe.

photo from online…

Recalling, those, small, broken stories, about life.

So, this, is from the daily life of a woman, and from this you can see how things can be initiated, and the two things don’t even have to be entirely related to each other, and, how the human mind is able to, link two various items together, and how things became, completely, connected at the end…

Seemingly Different

After living through the ups and downs of life, you’re now, finally, settled, finding something beautiful in your ordinary life here, translated…

Looking at my husband sound asleep, it’s, as if I saw that man who’d made me into a spare, that man was already married, kind, very quiet, and at that time, I’d felt, that he was, very lonely.

Back then, I’d thought naively, why does he look so lonely?  Isn’t someone with a family supposed to gloat about his own children, scurried through his wonderful, noisy, messy life?  I’m guessing, that his wife probably didn’t know him at all then.

But, as the wheels of fortunes keep on turning, don’t know if my husband who’s sound asleep, looks like that to other people?  The joys of having a child reduced because of the odds and ends of life, and, the originally colorful life, because the birth of our own, our families, the holidays, the odds and ends of everyday, started, losing its, luster and color, sex became unnecessary now, and even as my husband wanted to help out with our son, I’d belittled him, and caused us to turn sour.  And so, I’d, shouldered up all of these nitty-gritty, odds and ends matters, and, overlooked how my husband became a father later on in life, and so, he’d become, more and more silent.

Recalling how on that gathering, I’d met his wife, she’d looked very fashionable and eye-catching, and his wife was actually, very beautiful.  And, that scent of jealous made me accept the invitations from another male coworker to sing karaoke, and yet, in the loud blasting music, I kept pondering: how can his wife be so beautiful and gently, and he’d still needed me?  If his wife was like she was, then, would having an affair come naturally to him?

No matter how I’d felt, being young, I’d still left that affair, and later, met up with my husband now.  I was his first love, and, although he’s over forty, he’s still in great shape, unlike how I’d gained weight for my pregnancy and for breastfeeding too, but as my husband heard me complain about my weight, he’d always smiled and hugged me tight, said, that I feel good with flesh.

And, I’d started thinking about the differences of my husband and that other man, what they had in common, then, it’d, hit me, about how different they are to one another: that man’s selfishness, stood in contrast with my husband’s kindness toward me, that man’s desires for beauties of youth had made the wonderful feelings of familiarity go away.

Perhaps, tomorrow, my husband will still take out the snacks and the iPad to feed to my young child and to socialize him, and I’d attempted to teach him how to play with our son, to read the illustrated books to them, and put them to sleep on time, then the two of us can finally, sit down, and share that glass of wine at night, or just, cuddle on the couch, watch the T.V.s shows and laugh.  It’ll be fine, like this.

So, after everything you’d weathered through, being someone else’s whore, you’d learned all you can about life, and now, you’d finally found a great man, married him, had children with him, and now, after all those years of ups and downs, the highs being too high, the lows, too low, you just wanted, an ordinary life, and who can blame you!