Good Morning, Mr. Tsai!

The daily encounters, seeing the changes in a man who works for your community, translated…

I thought he wasn’t going to make it, but now, I’m truly glad, that he’d, stayed.

I live in a medium-sized community with three buildings, the front gates and the parking lot was guarded by the security guard company personnel, there’s usually that three to four individuals at a time, rotating the shifts.  It’s not at all easy, for the security personnel to rotate in the shifts, so, there’s this high turn-over rate, and nobody can know, when there’s going to be a new face one day.

like this?  Photo from online…

The good security guards are like the sales, if they’re active and sociable, they would blend into the community quickly, for instance, as the members of the community go in and out of the front doors, greeting them by their first names, and seeing the housewives with the groceries, would help them carry the bags to the elevators, and, as they’d received the packages, they would hand them over to you as you returned home………in this sort of interactions, as time goes by, the security guards became more like members of our family.

And, that day, there’s someone new working, he was a bit shy, a bit introverted, followed behind the security guard who’d worked here for a while, and would nod and complied as he heard the man said who is very good.  It’s just, that this new person seemed to have something in his mouth, and we’d had difficulties, hearing his words, and sometimes, when it came his that isn’t so strange that he’d not let the rails down, but, as he’d directed the traffic, he resembled that of a robot figure that were used to direct the traffic from the roadside constructions.

As I worried that if his personality would be fitting for this job, a miracle happened!  That was one morning as I drove out to work, as I drove to the security guard’s office from the basement garage, he’d stopped me shortly.

Turns out, in my blind spot, there came an elderly couple strolling slowly forward.

As he’d made sure it was safe, he’d signaled for me to keep going, at the same time, he’d articulated, “Good morning, Mr. Tsai!”, I’d immediately lowered my window completely, and replied, “Thank you, for your hard work!”

keeping an eye on everything that’s going on…not my photo…

That day, on the way to work, I’d felt, especially lighthearted, because I’d felt glad, that a young man had, survived in the workforce.

So, this man is not slow, he just, takes a bit longer, to warm up, and, that still just showed, what you see, may NOT be the whole truth, so, we need to be sure, that we don’t rush to judgment, before we get the WHOLE story!

Changing Your Minds, Getting Along Better with Your Partners in Life, on How to Get Along with One Another

How to get along better with each other, now that it’s just, the two of you that’s left?  Translated…

My husband and I became like roommates, we’d, kept at our own separate televisions, and during mealtime, I’d, hollered out, “Tenant from upstairs, food is served!”, after the tenant finished his food, he’d headed upstairs, continued watching his basketball game.  And, mealtime and sleep, are the two times of the day, the two parallels we’d become, intersected.

The rule of thumb I’m living by is, not forcing things onto myself, nor onto others.  When we found ourselves in argument, I’d found a strategy, take action, not get angry, or waste ANY energies.  If my husband angered me, then, I don’t cook, it’s not, as if, I’m up for the employee of the month, and, by so, I’m teaching him, that he’s the one who’d lost, offending me, only then, would he, adjust his own behaviors.  He could easily, act stubbornly, wear a soured face, he’s the one getting laughed at, I wouldn’t start nagging him at all, I will NEVER find troubles for myself.

all you’re, left with, NOT my photo…

He’d said I’d talked too loud, but, that, is how large the volume my voice is, and now, whenever friends come, I’d told him, to “duck out”.  If he was insistent on being around, then, I’d still carried on conversation with my friends, I’d already warned him beforehand, it was his own choice, to not head out if he didn’t want to hear me talk.

We all have our different traits, like someone with irritable bowel syndrome, would you, tell her/him, NOT go to the bathroom so many times?  So, that stuffed up type A man, I’d, done as accordingly, I chose, to respect his “irritable bowel syndromes”.

I can, choose NOT to get angry toward the arguments we can’t escape from.  For instance those old issues we’d never agreed on, no need to discuss them, or get stressed out by them.  If toothpaste is a source of argument, then, get one tube each, so long as it’s not life-or-death matters, just let him be.

When I want to shop, I’d called on my girlfriends, when I want to see a movie, I’d find someone who’s also a movie fanatic like me, being accompanied by someone who makes you happy, that, is what’s most important; as for you, hubby, as long as you’d worked those nightshifts as the security guard, I’d be satisfied, why must you demand he take up other roles?

Try to break the stringent rules of your own cognitions, there are more options in life, as the thoughts changed, the problems find a way to resolve themselves.  You need to tolerate each other’s differences, to not cross over that boundary, to find a comfortable interaction pattern that both of you can live with.  War or peace, it’s up to you to choose!

you do your thing, I do mine!  Not my photo…

So, this woman is sharing her years of experience, of being married to her husband, they are quite different, with various hobbies, and, as they got older, they started living like parallel lines, and, there’s nothing wrong with that, so long as the two of you respected the boundaries set by one another, not pushing each other’s buttons too hard, then, you will get along just fine, even AS the kids leave home!

Bringing Me Flowers

Between a husband and a wife, translated…

During that period of time, someone always placed a small vase on my desk at office, with stems of roses.  And, although I didn’t know who my secret admirer was, but, I’d felt warm and fuzzy on the inside, with the scent of the flowers.

back when they were dating…not my photo…

After awhile, finally, the man came forth, he’d asked a child to deliver the flowers to my home.  Don’t know if the child was playing a prank, or that the child was respectable toward the elders, he saw my father who was sitting in the living room, he’d thrown the flowers to my father.  And, I’m guessing, that my serious father must’ve felt so furious back then?  Which dumbass, DARED made a move on his baby girl?

Finally, I’d worn my wedding gown, and took the bouquet from his nervous hands, walked, hand-in-hand with him, into his house.

After we married, he’d often come home late from working overtime.  One night, he’d brought home a huge bouquet to give to me, I’d placed it onto the dinner table, enjoying the view, at which time, my mother-in-law commented on how the flowers were not wrapped up beautifully.  “It’s pretty!”, I was wondering.  But now, I’d understood, sons, don’t bring your wives flowers in front of your mothers, or, give your mothers some flowers too, otherwise, the mothers’ hearts made of glass would surely, shatter easily.

after they’re married…not my photo still…

And after that, he’d become smarter.  One year on my birthday, he’d asked his younger sister-in-law to pick up a big cake, along with a bouquet of flowers, delivered it to my school, it’d made me so happy.  That bouquet of flowers had all of my coworkers feeling envious, a good friend of mine carried the flower, and took a picture, sent it to her husband, told him to learn from it.  And, I’d needed to, blame my husband for not being careful enough, don’t know how hard the couple of days that followed, my younger brother-in-law would have to weather through because of this.

Many years of marriage, there’s, still the habits of giving me the flowers.  Every Valentine’s Day or special occasions, seeing how the younger coworkers were, receiving the flowers, it’d made me, feel awful.  The couple of us felt like abandoned ladies, we’d, made a pact, to give one another flowers on the holidays or on our birthdays, with the card that says, “from a secret admirer”, so we can, boast ourselves a bit, and, take the bouquets home, and make our husbands nervous a bit.

and now…flowers for herself, not my photograph still…

Sometimes, when I’d complained to my husband how I’d not received any flowers from him for so long, he’d stated, “Did I not plant a garden full of flowers for you that bloomed throughout the seasons, cherry blossoms, orchids, camellias, roses, jasmines, lilies…all you can wish for, isn’t it enough?”, surely, the flowers had, bloomed for me, their aromas, for me to whiff too, but, I just, want an unexpected surprise!

That day, he’d plucked some magnolias with the leaves attached, placed them on top of a water-filled bowl, handed them to me, it was, lightly scented, full of zen, I’d carried the bowl and sniffed them again, and again, I’d loved it, but, he’d blurted out, “The magnolias are in full bloom, you’re not doing anything, why don’t you pluck them down, and sell them in the streets?”

I’d given him the eye roll, to remind him, that his wife, is a rose, with the thorns.

So, this, is the fun way they’d, interacted with each other, the husband’s gestures from before, buying the flowers, during their courtship, but as they got married, he’d lost his sense of romance, and the wife wanted him to continue to surprise her, but that, is not how men worked, and so, she and her coworkers started sending flowers to each other on the special occasions, and, this showed, how much men changes, from before to after they married.

Experience it Yourselves

Changes in one’s attitude, brought on by the many ups and downs of life, translated…

Is marriage a good thing?  I’m thinking, that it’s different based off of everybody’s experiences, and the answer, only one knows.

A couple of years ago, an old friend of mine talked about the ups and downs of her marriage, said that if she could have it to do all over again, she would’ve have chosen to get married; and, a short while ago, she’d talked to me about her daughter, and how well her and the members of her family are getting along, with that look of bliss all over her face.

I’d smiled and asked, didn’t you regret getting married from before?  She’d become stunned, then asked me, “Did I say that?  But, if you ask me that same question now, all I can say, that you need to experience it yourself to find out.”

Like drinking a cup of water, only you would know if it’s hot or cold; the life in marriage, with a mixture of sentiments.  Or maybe, marriage is not good or bad, it all depends, on how you see it as.

And that, is the importance of attitude, perhaps, when this friend came to the writer from before, her child was acting up, and she and her husband had an argument, that, was why she first stated, that marriage wasn’t the right choice for her, but, as the time passes, she and her family got along better, and, she’d started thinking, that being married, and having children is actually, a good thing.  This just showed, how unless you’d, experienced things from top to bottom, you can’t jump to conclusion on if something is good or bad for you.  You must give it enough time for life, to run its course…

Started Something We Can’t Finish

That, is what we always do, man!  We’d always started something we can’t finish, either that life got in the way of us connecting, or, the connections between you and I, got lost, or something else got in the way.

Started something we can’t finish, I should’ve known, as it’d become, our ways of interacting with each other.  We’d always eagerly started something, then, we’d, lost that drive, to keep it going, and yet, we don’t, sever off completely, no, we just, allowed this, whatever you wanna call it that we ended up with continue on, and on, and on…

Started something we can’t finish, and now, I think, it’s time, for me, to change, for the very first time in life, I want to, finish something I’d, started: you!  It took me a very long time, to finally, get myself off of you (like the 12-step program???), and, although, I’d still missed you, every now and then, I’m always able to, CUT that thought out of my mind, before it become, too enormous that I couldn’t handle.

Now, that’s something new, isn’t it???  Finishing something I’d, started, long, long, long ago: Y-O-U!

Pumpkin, a Short Prose

How love changed a man, and how a man, changed himself for love, learning his lessons well, translated…

He’d hated pumpkins, and this bad habit was cured, when he’d started going out with her.  She kept telling him, how nutritious pumpkins are, that he shouldn’t be so picky about his foods; because of how he loved her, he’d spent great amounts of time, slowly, accepted the foods he’d, disliked from before.

the pumpkin soup…photo from online…

After they broke up, he couldn’t return back to the way he enjoyed his foods from before, and pumpkin became, a must-see dish in every meal for him.  Later he’d started dating someone new, and one day, he’d discovered, that his girlfriend now, hated pumpkins like he once had, but, he’d not forced her to change, and when they dined out together, he’d, picked out the pumpkin pieces for her.

He didn’t want it that if they were to break up in the futures, his own selfish history was still, etched, so deep into her life.

here is one more dish made with pumpkin…photo from online…

So, this man had changed, because of his ex, to please her, perhaps?  And now, they’d broken up, he’d found that he couldn’t return back to the way he used to like his foods, he’d kept his ex-girlfriend’s habits, sort of, and, he’d started dating again, and this brand new love of his, hated pumpkin as he once had, and he knew NOT to impose her dislikes onto her like his ex had done, so, he had, learned a very important lesson in love for certain!

Missing the Afternoon Rain…

Can’t believe I’m actually saying this: I’m actually, missing the afternoon rain, as the weather’s getting hotter and hotter, I’m finding it hard, to keep my body cooled down, and, oh, how I prayed for that, afternoon rain that would pour down on the roof of this house from awhile ago, so long as it doesn’t rain for the entire afternoon, just right before I get off work, for half to an hour’s time, and that, would suffice…

Missing the afternoon rain, because of the heat.  It’s getting hotter and hotter in the afternoons, and, being indoors, in this air-conditioned (yeah right!!!) place doesn’t do SQUAT in helping my body to adjust to the high-heat outside, and, eventually, I will, be heading outside, and then, I shall be, overwhelmed, by this attack of heated weather, making it harder, for my body to cope!

like this,  and so long as it only lasted for a botu half an hour before getting off work…not my animation…

If only…if only, the rain can, come down in amounts that are enough, to cool the weather off a bit, and then, dry back up again, leaving behind some small amounts of moisture in the air, that, would be grand, but, it doesn’t work that way, because when it rained, it usually comes down, super hard, like needles, falling from the skies, attempting to, penetrate through those plastic or tarp umbrellas, attacking the people hiding underneath it.

That, is how the weather is, and how we humans are: when it gets too hot, we missed the colder weather, and longed for a little bit of rain, and, when it rained down hard (b/c it does!!!), we’d longed, for the sunnier days, and, there’s just, no middle grounds here………

like this, not my photograph…